Has it sprung? . . .

Today we made our first trip to Lakeside Park of 2008. The kids were thrilled and Cayenne (the dog) nearly had a coronary wanting to run and play with every puppy around. They had a great time and are nice and tired. You will notice there are no pictures of Dustin because he wouldn't be still enough to take a picture, he found a 7 year old little bossy girl to play with. Her dad happened to be a special ed administrator at a local school system. It was nice to have someone understand that my big, lanky 13 year old want to play "babies" with his 7 year old little girl. He and Robert talked for some time. It was an all-around fun day! Yay spring. . . I hope. . .

Blessings . . .

My mom and stepdad are traveling to Florida. They left Fort Wayne yesterday morning. While they were traveling though Atlanta the weather got ominous and shortly after that a ton of emergency vehicles were barreling down I75. They happened to be going through Atlanta just as the tornado hit. Thank goodness they were okay. In fact, they were totally unaware until later when they heard the news today.

Another trip to the doctor . . .

Last night when I got back home I realized not only had McCartney not gotten any better, but she was really worse. The sinus infections has traveled to her lungs and now she has a horrific cough. That coupled with her asthma makes her sound terrible. We returned to the doctor this morning and found that she has RSV. Great. She was laying on the doctor's table, wrapped in a blankt when he came inot our room. She said, "Dr. D, you didn't make me better!" Poor baby.

So we are now armed with more medication, oral steroids, breathing treatments etc. Thankfully she does her nebulizer pretty well. I hope she makes a turn for the better soon. Daddy sure does not a break. . .

Yay for me . . .

Tonight I went to a parenting class for pregnant girls at risk and for new parents at risk at a local crisis pregnancy center called "A Hope Center". This place is a Christian based organization that strives to give at risk girls the skills and the support to choose to keep their child. I did a presentation about Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders there last year at it was a disaster. A girl flipped out because I said something she found offensive. She started hollering at me and calling me ignorant. I cried. I am a comfortable public speaker and crying is not like me. She really upset me. I said I would never, ever do it again.

They have called several time since to schedule me. I have always said no. Last month I was sleeping on the couch and I got a phone call, I said yes because I was half asleep. Crap! I have not been looking forward to it at all. Tonight went great! I was so pleased with my presentation (thanks Kari) and I think they enjoyed it and learned a lot. I think I said "There is no safe amount of alcohol to drink during pregnancy" about 350 times. Only to be rivaled by "My child's brain damage was 100% preventable" which I said roughly 375 times. I will definitely do it again. I am determined to get the word out to women of child bearing age that it is NOT safe to drink while pregnant. Your child should be worth your abstinence from alcohol!

Before I left tonight, Dustin asked where I was going. Robert said, "Mom's going to talk to pregnant women." Dustin had no idea what I was going to talk about and he said, "Tell them NOT to drink alcohol, it made me foolish." It sent me out teary and determined to touch SOMEONE tonight that may choose not to take that drink with their child in the womb.

Worry wart . . .

Something new to worry about. Remember when McCartney was having issues with her legs hurting all the time. I took her to the doctor because she has Spina Biffida Occulta and I wanted to be sure she was fine. The pediatrician did some testing and sent us to the neurologist for a new MRI. Well, I called the peds office about the testing and the nurse said ti was fine. Today I took her to the docs for her illness over the weekend and it turns out the tests weren't fine at all.

McCarntey has an wonky ASO titer. Meaning she has elevated strep in her body. That is an issue that my mom and I both have and we get really nasty things associated with strep. When I was young I actually went into the early stages of kidney failure due to a strep infection. We both have had struggles with erythema nedosa and my mom has been told she will never completely rid her body of strep. Dr. Dillon is pretty concerned about this and thinks McCartney may have some post-streptococcal reactive arthritis. So, more blood work and something else for me to worry about . . .

Icky, sicky . . .

My baby girl is miserable. This is the child who was running round playing an hour after her tonsils were removed. The child who had numerous ear infections, so many that she had some hearing loss, yet we never knew because she never acted sick. She is laying around and sleeping like crazy (well, sleeping during the day, keeping me up at night)


She is taking tylenol and motrin to keep her raging fever at bay. She is also taking sudaphed to keep her nose from acting like a faucet (one with the nastiest, stickiest, green snot I have ever seen) and eye drops because she also has a terrible case of conjunctivitis. Nice.

Harrison has a small tinge of it, and is currently running a light fever and has goopy eyes as well. He is however running around like a maniac so I think he feels better than she does. He is usually the couch potato when he is sick.

Harrison gave me a very good laugh this morning when he came from downstairs with a pair of his jammies on that are too small. They are like those footie zip-up jammies, but don't have feet. He has grown so much over the past few months that the jammies legs are just below his knees. He looks utterly ridiculous. I laughed til I nearly fell over in the kitchen. He has always been really stubby so it is nice to see him sprouting up.

I'm off to wipe noses and hold children down for their eye drops . . .fun times . . .

My boy is growing up . . .

My kindergaren had his first big-boy birthday party yesterday. He went home with a boy from his class and went to a party WITHOUT me! I can't believe it. He was my baby just yesterday I swear.

Last night McCartney crawled in bedand snuggled up against me. She was burning up! She had a fever of 103.8. Zoinks. She kept complaining that her head hurt and no matter how I held her she cried about her back hurting. It worried me. I am not the crazy ER mom, but last night I was close. Finally the Tylenol kicked in, her fever subsided and she slept. This morning her fever is going back up and Harrison just came over to me on the couch and now he feels warm. I'm off to fetch the thermometer . . . send good thoughts our way. . .

My own version of crazy . . .

I am weird. Plain and simple. We have this little bureau in the foyer. Whenever I would tel the kids to go put something on this bureau they had no idea what I was talking about. So I named it. I call it Chester. Now when I say, "Go put it on Chester so we can take it to school" , they know what I mean. No explanations needed.

I decided I am going to name my newly acquired best-friend. . . uh, I mean vacuum. Any suggestions . . .

I thought about Mike, since it is a Dyson.

Maybe George because he "sucks".

Anyone? . . .

Woo-freakin-hoo . . .

I am a crazy vacuumer. I vacuum about 3-5 times a day. Partially because we have animals, partially because of the birds, partially because we have wood floors and rugs, but mostly because I'm OCD. Yesterday I bought a Dyson.

Is it wrong that I love my vacuum more than my husband?

Just kidding! I love you Robert, but I love my vacuum too!

Crappity, crap, crap, crap-o . . .

I hate snow! I'm sick of this crappin' snow. Last week's snow just melted and now I have 6-8 inches of snow in my yard. ARRRGGGGGHHHH!

You gotta have humor to get through . . .

The tide is . . .

. . . . turning? I hope so. Dustin had a super day at school yesterday and another decent one today. Not great, but we'll take what we get! Last night I was knee deep in a project and he was incredibly helpful. He loves to help around the house. He is the best gopher when I'm in the midst of something and it is really helpful. I hope this means he is returning to the kinda-rotten boy we know and love, not the one you'd like to strangle. . . Thanks for all your kind words on my whiney posts lately. You all are much appreciated.

I am looking forward to the primary results tonight. I sincerely hope that tonight will go well for Senator Obama and Senator Clinton will drop out. It sound to me like Bill may see that one coming. . . I am crossing my fingers and toes. I'm ready to get inot the meat of this election and see Obama and McCain begin focusing on the future, and one another.

I got a haircut and color today. It's it great when you walk out of the salon loving your hair! I love having a wonderful stylist who I trust completely. I always sit down and say, "Do what you want." and poof . . . I have a great cut! And at a super resonable price. Nice.

Ever since I started this post I've been singing this . . .

Sad . . .

I am incredibly off right now. Dustin has had an extremely difficult week and ended it with torture this weekend. He has been AWFUL. I'm not sure that many of you understand what awful can be . . . but I'm telling you it is not been fun. The little ones are on edge and grumpy because all of our attention and energy is wrapped up in keeping Dustin respectful and safe. Robert and I are snapping at one another because we are at our limit. The dog is even moping around. I have no one to turn to. I need a break. I just want to give up. . .

Another week will begin tomorrow and I will try to get through it without near as much turmoil. I am hoping that Dustin is struggling because he needs sunlight (the weather still sucks here) or becuase he needs some better sleep, or because he has a slight cold. I am not yet putting any stock in the thought that we may be dealing with medication issues. We have been on the same medications for a year an they have been wonderful. I CANNOT deal with the possibility that they may need changed right now. If I have to deal with that the way I feel this afternoon I may lose it. I'm not sure I can handle much more.

He takes so much energy. He takes a constant level of vigilance. I have to be "on" all the time. What I would really like is to climb under the covers, bury my head in a pillow and cry until about next Thursday. But I will stuff it down and pretend I am "good" for the kids. I will stuff it down and be a good wife. I will probably self-medicate and take extra Zoloft for a couple days. I don't have time or the luxury to lose it . . . it sucks being the mommy.

More art . . .

Harrison used to hate to do any kind of art. He didn't like to color or do anything like that. In kindergarten they began doing journaling and drawing pictures that go with their journal. They started talking about adding detail to their pictures and I began to see a little difference in his pictures. Since he started his medication (Focalin XR) we have seen FABULOUS results in his behavior, attention span and focus. It has actually helped his eating since he can focus long enough to focus on his food. I am so pleased he is doing well! He's like a new child experiencing things comfortably. I love it.

The one thing I have noticed immediately is his love for art. He draws and colors all the time. I love that his personality is becoming more balanced. Here is his latest drawing . . .

He calls this one Freddy the Flying Fish

Alone . . .

Kari blogged today about her fortune to be surrounded by people who understand her family and their children with FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome). I was struck by the overwhelming aloneness I feel about living this life with Dustin.

One of the main reasons I started blogging was Robert nagged me. I really didn't think I had anything to say that people would want to read (and still not so sure I do), but the reason I continued was Kari. She found me one day and left me a message that we are not alone in this struggle with FAS. Through that post I found many other blogs of families like mine. IT held my attention. It furthered discussion of our own issues. It helps in a way nothing else has. It is my best therapy.

All that being said, we are wickedly alone. We have no Personal Care Attendants like they do in Minnesota and other states. We have no other families around us that we can talk with, fret with and help to support. We have no babysitter for Dustin other than my mother. No one else can deal with him. While Kari so fortunately "has people", we do not.

I say all this not to have a bunch of comments of sympathy. I say this to say that even though I feel alone becasue of FAS, I am certain others feel alone with children of differing disabilities. Reach out to someone. Email them. Comment on their blog. Give a mother an understanding look when she is fighting her kids in the grocery store. Let them know you understand, laugh with them.

Most importantly, look at them differently. It is so easy to assume the parents are at fault for a child who is behaving badly. . . give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they are on their last shred of patience. Maybe they want to chuck it all. Maybe they go home and cry because they are alone in their child's disability.

I know I do sometimes. . .

Fetal Alcohol at it's finest . . .

Yesterday the kids did not have school. I was not feeling well so I stayed home. Last week Dustin missed one day of school because he wasn't feeling well. I suppose that's not exactly true. Dustin has virtually no pain receptors or malfunctioning ones at best. He doesn't really "know" when he isn't feeling well. We typically don't know he is sick until he is hacking and coughing to sniffling or fevering. Then, he "knows" he is sick because we say, "You sound horrible." That is when the outward "faking" begins. He "knows" he is supposed to feel bad, but he really doesn't so he acts sick. Last week was one of those hacking and coughing times and he stayed home one day and begged to return to school the next. He's been sounding well ever since. However, I'm not so sure he is "feeling" well or better stated, I'm not sure sure his body is back to 100% whether he "knows" it or not.

He's been really "off" for a few days. This weekend was lots of whining and grumpiness. yesterday was AWFUL. His routine was messed up because of the school cancellation and he kept saying the "school people are bad for not letting him go to school". So he was angry about that and just about everything else. At one point in the afternoon I asked him to leave his sister alone. He stormed upstairs. I told him if he was going to storm away while I was talking to him, he could simply stay in his room for a while. He did and he came back down a little later with a much better attitude. . . briefly.

The remainder of the evening was much of the same. I could not get warm for the life of me. I kept getting chilled and I thought I was feeling a breeze coming down the steps. I sent Dustin upstairs to make sure all the windows are shut (we sometimes open the bathroom window because the upstairs get incredibly hot) He said they were all shut. I chalked it up to not feeling well.

When Robert went upstairs to put the kids to bed, we found a mess. Dustin had broken his window while he was mad at me earlier! There was however, very little glass on the floor of his room, I figured it had went outside onto the roof. I went upstairs to clean up and secure the window for the night and I discovered that he had removed most of the glass and HIDDEN it in his closet. He actually thought I wouldn't know he broke the window if he hid the pieces of glass! That is a brain that has missed object permanence. That is a brain that is affected be prenatal exposure to alcohol. That is my life.

Later in the evening Dustin and I were talking about how he should've told me because it was cold in the house. These were his exact words, "Maybe I should make a fire in my room tonight to keep warm." YIKES! Now, in all likelihood he is talking in imaginary terms and is being silly in the way a 4 year old would be. But, knowing that his brain is damaged from prenatal alcohol exposure coupled with the fact that he is definitely "off-kilter" lately, I ain't taking no chances! The boy slept on the floor next to my bed last night. There is NO WAY he is going to be unsupervised at all for a even little while.

I hate that I have to "fear" my son of more precisely, the choices he may make. I hate that he is so "damaged" by the simple fact that his bio-mother was selfish and drank while he was growing within her. I hate that I can't trust him to be unsupervised. And, I hate that I have to pay for a new pane of glass. I hate Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. . . but I love my boy.

Too cute . . .

Enchanted is too cute! In this scene Pip (the chipmunk) is trying to tell the prince that his advisor is trying to kill Giselle (the princess-to-be) by giving her a poison apple that the prince's mother gave him. Hysterical!

H-E-A-V- Y . . .

A really HEAVY snow fell last night and continues this morning. The flakes were incredibly large and looked like they belonged on a movie set. I am the person who shovels while the snow if falling so that it is more manageable. Last night I went out 4 or 5 times to shovel as the snow was falling. I was so happy that I was able to do that because this snowfall was so heavy that by the time this morning rolled around it would've weighed a ton! I shoveled at 1:00 in the morning and I still had about 4 inches to shovel when I woke up. The kids are home from school and I am not feeling real well, in fact I think someone set a flu-bomb in our house. The kids have a croopy cough and are grumpy and irritable. I feel like crap. We are gonna lay around and enjoy a day off. Except for another shoveling in a couple hours. . .

A glimpse . . .

Mr. Henry sent me some pictures from Iraq . . .




Keep him and all our troops in your thoughts . . . and oppose this horrid war.

Bowling Fever . . .

We took the kids bowling last night because Harrison had his BEST WEEK EVER at Kindergarten. They had a blast! Watch how slow McCartney's ball is. It took FOREVER for her ball to get down the lane. . .

The stark differences . . .

As of yesterday, I am the proud owner of a teenage son. I have always noticed the huge differences in his interests since the first day we brought him home, but it gets even more noticeable the older he gets. I have a 13 year old who wanted to visit Build-a-bear more than just about anything else for his birthday. So grandma came and picked him up Saturday to take him to build himself a stuffed animal. The Cheetah he made hasn't left his side since, and he has began to treat it like it is alive. He has always given inanimate objects "life", but it has become worse as of late. He adores it, and I hate to threaten to take it away, but it is so very unhealthy for him to become obsessed with something in that way with all of his schizophrenic tendancies. We actually had to limit the time he can spend with the Cheetah (and by the way, thanks grandma for the karate outfit for the Cheetah, now Dustin is the "karate master" chopping everything in site)

He has few reading skills. He cannot ride a bike. He enjoys everything from Blues Clues to Star Wars. He is not allowed to touch our animals since he tends to hurt them. He must have an alarm on his bedroom door so that we know when he is out and must be supervised. He cannot do much of anything without supervision. He is not your "average" 13 year old.

He actually had Lilo and Stitch birthday cake. Try to sell that one to your "average" 13 year old. But, he was happy and that's what mattered. I am finished trying to make him into a different child than he is. Last night at Meijer he asked me if he could still like kid shows. He was so relieved when I told him it didn't matter how old he was, he could choose to watch what made him happy, that mom and dad okays. (Exception to Power Rangers etc. that make him karate chop everything in site, and the one time I caught him watching Real Sex on HBO-which was the last night he ever had cable in his room)

Right now Dustin is probably about a 5 year old trapped in the body of a 13 year old. He still has the teenage outbursts of anger including name hollering and lots of storming away from his parents, but he is developmentally a 5 year old. I love my klutsy, lanky, baby-fit throwing 13 year old. He is truly a soft-hearted and friendly little guy who is much happier now than he was 7 years ago when he walked into our home. We make mistakes, we say things we shouldn't and we let anger ruin teachable moments sometimes. We laugh when we really shouldn't and we cry when we should be holding it together. But, we love him whole-heartedly. We chose him and he is ours! For better or for worse.

Another drawing . . .

Harrison calls this one . . . No More War

How do I love thee . . .

Since I forgot to post about my dear, sweet husband on his birthday recently, I decided I would do a Valentine's Day Post, even though we don't typically celebrate this very commercial holiday. Tonight in celebration, I am taking the kids to a skating party and he is staying home with Dustin . . . exciting huh?

So, here's 37 things I love about Robert . . .

1. His creativity.
2. He does most of the dishes in our house. (I am really bad at it)
3. The way he interacts with Dustin.
4. The way he wakes the kids up in the morning ( with humor and lots of love)
5. His gray, long hippie hair.
6. His passion for peace.
7. His liberal perspective.
8. His humor.
9. His singing voice.
10. His photoshop skills.
11. The way he can explain something to me so I can understand it. (and the kids too)
12. His willingness to explain things to me.
13. He loves to share his knowledge AND his opinion.
14. All the trivial information that is in his head.
15. His love for the Beatles.
16. His love for the kids.
17. His love for me.
18. His grandma's chicken and dumplings recipe.
19. The way he makes me try new foods. (mmmmm, sushi)
20. His love for reading.
21. His thirst for knowledge.
22. The way he immerses himself in a project.
23. His determination.
24. His values.
25. His love of music.
26. His addiction to Lay's Classic Potato chips and popcorn
27. He will eat my cooking.
28. He chose to be a stay-at-home daddy.
29. He cleans my house.
30. He humors me when I order him around.
31. He listens to me (most of the time).
32. He deals with my OCD.
33. He deals with my indecisiveness.
34. He cares about people.
35. He cares about animals.
36. The way he loves his cat (much ot his own dismay)
37. He chose me.

I would like to thank the director . . .

My first oscar . . . I mean award.

Angie has bestowed upon me the Chaste Kiss Award for visiting and posting and being an blog-o-friend. Thanks dear! I would like to pass it along to Kari (a fellow adoptive mom with kids just like Dustin, without whom this journey would be far more difficult) , Patty (taking a little leave, and I miss her), and Jessica Rabbit (my once rival whom now I understand and respect).

Kiss, Kiss ladies!

Conversations . . .

Me: Harrison, have you met your new principal yet?
Harrison: Yep
Me: Is his name Mr. Shaeffer?
Harrison: It's DOCTOR Shaeffer.
Me: Oh yes! I forgot.
Harrison: And he is BALD.
Me: Oh, I see.
Harrison: That means he doesn't have hair. Well, he does have arm-hair. His head is just bald.

The tide has turned . . .

I am still sitting in my bed with the laptop waiting very patiently til Harrison goes to sleep. He continues to attempt to engage me in conversation. I am really good at ignoring.


The following exchange just happened . . .

Harrison: I'm really really really hungry and thirsty.
Me: (silence)
Harrison: For real. Do you hear me?
Me: It's time for sleeping. Please close your eyes.
Harrison: But I'm really really REALLY thirsty.
ME: (silence)
Harrison: (after about 2 minutes) I hate you.
Me: ( giggling like a horrible mother)
Harrison: I really really REALLY do hate you.
Harrison: And STOP laughing. (throwing a pillow at me trying not laugh himself)

about 3 minutes pass . . . while I attempt not to keep giggling.

Harrison: (in the tiniest little voice) I really do. I mean I hate you.

Apparently he no longer wishes to have my company. Maybe daddy can get him to sleep.

I give up . . .

I surrendered tonight and laid with the kids while they tried to go to sleep. McCartney was out pretty quickly, after hollering at me for breathing too loudly, but Harrison was more difficult tonight. Finally, I took him to my bed because I couldn't lay in the top bunk with him, and he snuggled up close to me and said this:

Mommy, wouldn't it be funny if dogs had feathers? And Parrots had fur.
What if lizards had pig tails and dresses and little girls had scales.
How about if rhinos had mustaches and daddies had horns.
That would be funny wouldn't it?

Is that so cute? I love it. But man I wish they would go to bed by themselves before they turn 20 and I'm still sitting with them . . . .

Tidbits . . .

1. OBSERVATION: There's nothing like a scheduled day off with the hubby out of town to make one want to CLEAN the house. I love it!

2. CUTENESS: McCartney asked this question, "Mommy, when it stops snowing, can we buy a car without a lid?"

3. REALIZATION: I have decided once and for all that Starbucks on an empty stomach hurts my belly like nobody's business.

4. INFORMATION: NEVER make Rice Krispie Treats with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

Stressed out . . .

We are all really stressed out here at work today. I posted yesterday about Mr. Henry having to make his trip to Iraq today. I blogged about him many months ago when he enlisted in the air guard. At that time he as PROMISED that he would not have to go overseas. I told him and told him again that we all knew that wasn't the truth. But they PROMISED. It makes me sick to my stomach. It's one thing to make a decision to serve in the military when you know what you are getting into, it's another thing altogether to be lied to.

I am proud that he is serving his country. I am proud that he is doing his part in going to Iraq. I am sick that he was lied to in order to get him to enlist. Yesterday when he came into work to say good-bye, one of the boys said, "Mr. Henry, I didn't know you were a soldier!" My first thought was, "No he's not. He's a boy who needed money for school and got suckered into enlisting for the bonus." It makes me ill.

I watched my son sleeping last night and thought about Henry's mom sending him off to war. My thoughts and prayers all with all those famlies today who are missing their sons and daughters in Iraq. This stupid, illegal war has taken their babies and it's my hope they return unharmed. And for all those who don't get their baby returned safely, know that while I HATE this war, I support your babies who are doing their job and serving their country.

Crapppp - py . . . .

I got a call from Roebrt yesterady afternoon that our power went out. I called AEP and they said the estimated time for fixing it was 4:30pm. Woohooo. Robert called me back at 5:00 and it wasn't back on. I called again and it had been changed to 5:00am. Crap! The only thing I thought about was all the food in my fridge and my chest freezer. Zoinks! Luckily the church has a generator and we powered all the essentials . . . fridge, freezer, cable and computer. Essentials.

The kids and I went to stay at Nannies since it would be getting cold, and the generator was incredibly loud. The kids got to bed late and I slept on a very uncomfortable couch, but we were warm!

The power is back up and running this morning! Yeah!

I'm an idiot . . .

Yesterday I was vaccuuming out my car and I locked myself out. Thankfully I am always hot in the car aand I had left the passenger window down about 3 inches. A car full of kids drove up and a skinny tall guy got out. I said, "Hey! Would you mind sticking your skinny arm in my car and unlocking it?" It worked. Yeah me!

Godspeed . . .

Our dear friend, Mr. Henry will be leaving tomorrow for Iraq. He will be stationed in Tallil Air Force base. We wish him the best and hope to see him home real soon! I think he is going to try to set up a blog from Iraq, so I will let you all know when that happens.

Shrunken days . . .

Lately I feel like my days have shrunken to about 12 hours, of which I sleep about 7 hours away. I feel all frustrated and hurried. The house is a pit (hint,hint honey) and I am crazy! Work is NUTS right now as we are short staffed. Yesterday I was in just about every age group at one point or another. When I'm not running all over creation at work, I must find time to renew a bunch of people's CPR certifications AND begin working on our Week of the Young Child presentation. Agh! I must stop listing or I will go nuts!

I have recently discovered a blog by an adoptive mother that goes to my church. She is amazing and quite funny! Go on over and check out Kimberely's blog . . . you will laugh I promise. Her 100th post is hysterical! She and her husband just adopted the cutest little girl from Ethiopia. Go on over and say hello!

Amazing . . .

I have posted tons of video and photos lately. . . but this one HAD to be posted.

New spectacles . . .

Pay no attention to the eyebrows in need of plucking . . .

Our Saturday . . .

I took "the littles" to the Botanical Conservatory for Seuss on the Loose. It was really fun! The company that we bought our playground stuff at daycare from donated all the equipment for the playcenter to a local elementary school after the botanical gardens is done with it. Their stuff is SUPER cool and fits so well with the Suess theme. Harrison LOVED the giant cactus and McCartney just kept saying she was tired and sweaty. But, they had a blast. I posted a bunch more pics from our day over at our family site if ou care to take a gander.

Ignoring . . .

I refuse to engage my children in their battles. I will not get sucked into your bouts for attention. Here are some examples. . .

Last night Harrison and I had to go visit our pediatrician for a medication review. He was pleased with the progress we have seen due to the SDHD medication we put him on a month ago. In fact, he was thrilled that such a low dose was being effective and thrilled that our first shot at a med worked. I was as well. I know, better than most doctors, that medication is a tricky thing in all my experiences with Dustin.

I had some libraries materials we had to return and wanted to have Angie order some books for us so we visited Lakeside Learning Garden. Yes, I could order the books myself, but I hate to pay online and decided that I would support a locally owned, small business instead of visiting Border's or Barnes and Noble. So, we went into Angie's store and Harrison began playing with the Lego's. I got him out of the store with merely a grumble and headed over the library. He began to whine that he wanted to play on the computer. I said "Harrison, honey, I am only dropping these off and we have 3 computers at home for you to play on." "But, mommy, I want to visit Nick.com" "Harrison, our computers go to the same place." The hopping and the grumbling began. I steered him out of the library, across the parking lot, back over the Angie's parking lot with silence. Problem is, my silence was met with lots of grumbling, "pleeeeease!", and "why nots". Just then Angie and her kids were leaving and he took the opportunity to throw a major hissy fit. This time he began hollering that "I don't like you" and he actually tried to run from me. I snatched his coat hood and steered him back into the van door without a word. I smiled to Angie and she gave me that mother knowing look.

I think years ago I would've tried explaining, and cajolling and saying things like, "Oh, Harrison, that hurts my heart, I know you love me you're just angry right now." Not now. I know he is mad, why inflame the situation or give any kind of attention when he is throwing his fit? Later I did address it when it was time for bed. I asked him if that's how 5 year olds should act, and asked him if he loved me and told him it's okay to say, "I'm angry at you", but we shouldn't say hateful things just because we are mad. I got a far better response then than I would have if I had tried that conversation when he was fired up. Anyone watch the Dog Whisperer? It's like Caesar says, don't give love and attention when they are in an excited state. It does nothing but reinforces the negative behavior. I'll say it, disciplining kids IS like appropriately training dogs.

Another example. When Dustin is sent to his room he likes to slam the door, bang on the walls and throw things down the stairs. I used to get all angry about this. I would address it right then and it always made the situation worse. I would always start with "How old are you?" and end with "No more!" Even if I was calm, it did nothing but made the situation worse. Now, I ignore. Let him cool down and THEN deal with it. When his time out is over and I call him down it usually goes something like this:

Me: Dustin!
Him: Can I come down now?
Me: Yep, but you have to clean up your mess.
Him: I can't clean all that up.
Me: Who threw it down the steps?
Him: Me.
Me: How old are you?
Him: 12
Me: Well, maybe a 12 year old will learn that if he doesn't like picking it up he shouldn't throw it down in the first place.
Him: Will you help?
Me: Nope, I didn't throw it down.
Him: Man, this sucks.
Me: Yep, maybe you'll think about this next time. You're doing a good job though.
Him: Thanks, can I have a snack.

Can I have a snack? He is ALWAYS hungry. It drives me NUTS! This is something else I ignore. I used to say, "You just ate. You can't possibly be hungry" and "Dustin, you need to wait 30 minutes." etc, etc, etc. But now I just lower my head, put on a really irritated look, and give him the "eye". He sighs, and says, "Sorry, I just ate."

So my motto is . . . Ignore! Don't engage! I have learned that the harping I used to do did nothing but irritate me! I try my best to deal with it later so they can learn from it in an appropriate setting that will make a difference.

I can also ignore loud noises really well. I can tune out just about anything. The only problem is I tend to ignore my husband as well . . . LOL. I always tell him it is a occupational hazard!

An Old Friend . . .

I visited classmates.com yesterday and got frustrated because you have to pay to get any information. One girl I wanted to find wasn't listed. I began trying to search for her online and found an obituary from her granddad. From this I found out her last name. I did find her brother and sister-in-law's email and I got one from her today! I am so thrilled!

We were pretty darn close in middle school and high school. I found picture of us at graduation. Man, I can't believe I was ever that young. I can't wait to talk to her about the last 20 years. . .

Myrtle Young . . .

Years ago when I used to take the daycare kids to Seyfert's Potato Chip factory we would get a tour from Myrtle Young. Her job was to sit at the end of the production line at Seyfert's and pick out the chips that had too much starch and had burn marks. She found chips that looked like other things and collected them. Later they installed infrared cameras that sucked out the bad chips, and Myrtle ended up working elsewhere in the factory.

My favorite thing was getting to see the semi-trucks that delivered the potatoes being lifted into the air so that the potatos would dump out. Often, you could drive by the factory early in the morning and see the front end of a semi sticking way into the air above the factory. On the tour, Myrtle used to tell the story about a driver who was waiting to get his truck dumped and fell asleep in the cab. They guys lifted the truck with him inside, thinking they would be funny and got in big trouble. The Seyfert's factory has since been leveled.

This morning I drove by the Mike Sells Potato Chip plant and saw a truck in the air! I was thrilled. It brought back so many memories. I also realized that they no longer lift the cab with the truck. I noticed it was just the trailer in the air.

Here is the infamous clip of Myrtle on Carson . . .

Things you find out on Saturday . . .

Today I found out a few things. . .

1. I found out that Dustin CAN get a good haircut at Great Clips by a woman named Svetlana. She jerked his poor head around like a ragdoll, but man, he looks adorable.

2. I found out a car and an oven can catch on fire in one week. Tonight I put 2 frozen pizzas in the oven and went into the laundry room to fold clothes. Dustin comes into the kitchen and hollers, "The oven is on fire!" Nice. I had a piece of foil in the bottom of the oven which apparently collected some grease and caught fire. The inside of the oven was engulfed in flames.

Robert came in and rescued me, without even having to use the fire extinguisher. I walked into the computer room to turn on the ceiling fan to rid the area of smoke and Dustin had both kids on the floor rolling around. I asked what they were doing and Harrison says, "Dustin told us to stop, drop and roll." So I say, "No honey, that's for when you are on fire."

The pizzas survived the fire and came out quite good.

3. I found out that if you have 2 pets rats and one dies, the other dear, sweet pet will EAT it's former friend. Eeeeeeww! I may find it hard to cuddle her after I found out that she had reduced her friend to a simple carcass.

4. I found out that while I can clean up puke, poop and all matter of bodily fluids as a mother and child-care worker for years, I cannot bring my self to look at OR clean up rat carcass.

Harrison's Art . . .

He calls this one Peace Ducks.

Looking up . . .

Thank you Lord! My car is covered under warranty. Oh Joy!

Turns out my starter remained engaged and caught fire. They are ordering the part and it will be done in a couple days. My fabulous step-father is allowing me to use one of our old crappy church-vans in the mean time!

God is good.

Monday mish-mash . . . and pyschotropic drugs . . .

This weekend sucked. Dustin was horribly dysregulated. I say that, but then immediately I flash back to what that meant in the past. I didn't have to restrain him and he did have moments where he could function with the other kids. I suppose it wasn't that bad, but I suppose it's all relative anyway huh?

Our computer died. We purchased a new desktop in December. Robert and I were watching something on DVR and he walked back over to the computer and it was asking for a boot disk. He spoke to Support and of-course they were NO HELP AT ALL. I called Best Buy and he took it to the nerd-herd (man I miss "Chuck") and they said the hard drive was totally "gone". Thankfully it qualified for exchange since it was bought during the Christmas Season and returns and exchanges are lengthened to January 31st. He came home with a brand-spankin' new computer that is faster, has more memory and a $25 credit. Gotta like that.

Perusing some blogs over the weekend, I found some people critical of giving children psychotropic drugs for children "ailments" as they call them. You know what I have to say about that? Pitooey! I will acquiesce that in the past, physicians were far too quick to label a child and medicated them, and may still be. However, in my personal experience that is not the case. I think it is the family's right to medicate their child, but also their RESPONSIBILITY to educate themselves about the medication, the risks, to side effects and the half-life of these medications.

Whenever Dustin is placed on a new medication I ask these questions:

1. What is it used for?
2. What positive results should I be looking for?
3. What negative results should I be looking for?
4. How long before I should see a change? When should I call you if I don't see a change?
5. How long does it take for the medication to get out of his system?

The last 2 I find particularly important since I need to know if a medication should begin working right away, or if it will take 3 weeks before I see the wanted results. That way, I can see if this medication will be effective or a dud. For instance, medications like Adderall are "in and out" in one day, where Zoloft may take 3-4 weeks before you see if it is effective. I also like the last question, so that I know if the medication has a half-life in his body. That one is particularly important for me since he typically has EPS reactions to medications. I need to know how long after he stops taking it will it still be affecting him.

I have no problems with medicating Dustin. He would be a danger to himself or others in our family if he was not medicated. You may say, "Well, Sheri, that's an easy decision." But, I also do not have issues medicating a child who is typical in most areas but has a problem focusing. My 5 year old, Harrison, is brilliant. This child was talking in full sentences at one year old, and reading words at three. He was reading for comprehension and enjoyment by four. Last night I found him in my bed, propped up on a pillow reading a comic book before bed. He is a kindergartner. He has really been struggling with keeping his body still at school. He doesn't look at you when you are talking, yet he can tell you everything you said. He is full of energy and is ALWAYS moving. I chalked most of it up to immaturity, because he is young for his grade and he has always been a little extra emotional. The last time he was at the doctor for an illness he was bouncing of the walls. The doctor said, "Boy, is he always like this? When you're ready to talk about that, let me know." We became ready after the holidays. School began being an issue and he was really struggling with self-esteem since he is always being reprimanded at school. He began to dislike school, and saying things like, "I hate this family." He even talked about being a bad kid. I noticed his relationships at daycare were changing and children were choosing not to play with him. He wasn't mean, he was just always moving!

He has been on medication for 3 weeks. He is happy and much calmer. He has been having success at school. Last week he came home and said, "Mommy, I kept my body in control." He was so happy. If medication can do that for my boy, I am all for it.

Parenting hard kids is hard . . . part 2 . . .

I wrote last summer about how parenting kids with disabilities is difficult on the entire family. My kids are better for it in some ways, and probably worse off in some ways due to the parenting it takes to make Dustin a part of our family. The huge amount of "gumption" it takes to be "on" at times regarding Dustin and his behaviors, his triggers, his rages, his possible reactions is tiresome. It is not possible to simply come home and "check out" for the evening, as some parents can, leaving perfectly "normal" children to fend for themselves. "Mommy is tired, can you just go play please?" doesn't work EVER! Let me give you a snapshot of my night . . .

Last night, Robert had an appointment to film a piece for the local public television about PEACE. Meaning, I had all three kids to myself. It is not my forte. This may sound horrible to most moms, especially ones who deal with far more children than I, but Dustin really knows how to push my buttons. He rarely acts the way he does for me with Robert. Claudia talks alot about how hard it is for her not to play the "push-pull" game when her girls push her buttons. I can so relate even though I am getting better.

Last night Dustin had a major melt-down turned rage about dinner. We used to struggle with major food issues. He would hoard, binge, and even refuse food regularly. Most of that has subsided, and we only deal with it occasionally. Last night was that occasion. Of course. He refused to eat dinner. I never make an issue out of food. If you don't want to eat what we eat, fine, the rule is you have a peanut butter sandwich. of course, he didn't want that either. Usually this is a perfectly acceptable option for him. And by the way, he LOVES the meal we had last night. He was simply being difficult.

He asked if he could go get some air. I told him he could, but he had to stay on the porch. This was the compromise we came to after he ran away the last night. If he needs "air" he can ask, but he has to stay on the porch. he went out, milled around and came back in about 4 minutes later. I said, "Nice job calming down." and he stomped his foot and went back out slamming the door behind him. This continued about 8 or 10 more times. I was proud of my lack of attack and handling the situation calmly and ignoring him. Finally I had had enough of the door opening and closing and the "Hhhrmph" theatrics, and told him he was to stay in the house. Then the running through the house ensued and the stomping, slamming and hollering. Hollering things like, "You want me to starrrrrrrrrve!!!!!" "You never feed meeeeee!" "I'm calling the poooooliiiice!". Nice.

The dog was stepped on, a bowl was broken, the kids were shell-shocked, stuff was spilled, towels were thrown. I was calm. I waited until he was done and asked him if he was ready for dinner. He said "yes." I shut the kitchen door, made him a small plate and started to clean up the kitchen. He grumped, he breathed heavily, he picked. He walked over and opened the door. I said, "Dustin the dog needs to stay out of the kitchen." He ran to the bathroom and barricaded himself in. I went over and removed him. He said, "I'm hungry!" and went over to his plate. The dog had indeed come through the kitchen door he opened and ate his food. The LAST of the food. Nice. Can you say. . . natural consequences?

Another rage ensued but now directed at the dog. Finally as soon as it began, he calmed, looked at me and said, "Can I play gameboy?" Oh Lord, thank you! About an hour later he ate 2 peanut butter sandwiches and said, "Mom! Those were the best sandwiches ever!" Oh brother!

Nostalgia . . .

Okay that last post got to me. It made me start thinking about my babies . . . check out these wee-little ones from long ago . . .

Posting frenzy . . .

I thought I would share a picture with you from 2004. Robert and I went to see John Edwards speak in Lima, Ohio in October. We took McCartney while Harrison and Dustin stayed with Nannie.

Isn't she the cutest little decmocrat ever?

And check out that stylish sling. . . Thanks Cindy! Look how snuggly and happy she is! If you know anyone having a baby . . . you MUST have them buy a sling. And Cindy's are the best!

Transitions . . .

The day mother's of special needs kids dread. . . back to school after a break. A change in routine for most kids can be difficult. Going back to a normal sleep schedule, a normal play schedule and just making sure you get to the bus stop on time can be difficult on the first day back to school after Christmas Break. For kids that have special needs, a transition back to a "normal" routine can be quite traumatic. Kari dreaded the day, Cindy had issues getting her kid's heads off the pillows, Jo's son had issues in the after-school program, and even Marla and Maizie struggled with returning to their homeschooling routine. Yes, even I stressed out as my kid's returned to their normal grind.

It is on days like this when I have to remind myself that I cannot control my kid's behavior. I have to give them the foundation of a happy morning, a full belly and a loving hug as they run out the door, but ultimately it is their responsibility to act appropriately. But what about the kids whose brains have been affected by pre-natal alcohol exposure, or who have autism spectrum disorder, or who are just plain on their own schedule. They usually need someone, an external brain, to control their behaviors. That is not something one commonly finds in a "general education" classroom, or even a special education placement. My family is lucky enough to have Dustin with a 1:1 aide that is basically his external brain while at school, but that is not always the case. And even that can fall short when it comes to a child pushed beyond his or her limit for the day or their ability handle their impulses.

I have to ask myself what kind of pressure are we putting on our children to perform at a particular level that stresses them out so much. When I orientate a new employee into the child care world, I stress meeting each and every child at their level. We have a long talk about how each child had different abilities and temperaments and needs. We are expected to meet each child on their need as much as is possible. It can be as simple as helping children prepare for the next transition. We talk about those kids who need a 5 minute warning before clean up time. My youngest son will freak out if you all of the sudden say, "okay, time to clean up". He needs fair warning that his play is about to end. He needs time to "wrap-up" his play and be done. He needs to be prepared. Other children couldn't care less, you have to KNOW your students.

This cannot always happen in the "real world" of public schools. The classes are bursting at the seams with children. The day is so packed with the scope and sequence of what the Department of Education says must be accomplished in that school year, that there is little time for much else. In most classrooms, children are not given the opportunity to explore a topic and learn at their own pace. This is not always the fault of the teacher. People like Marla and Angie and Cindy are angels for homeschooling their kids. Years ago, I had images of home schooled families as outsiders, families whose children were not socialized and maladjusted to living in the real world. I have found there are so many families doing the right thing by their children. I envy that. I don't think I would be capable of that. I have a degree in elementary Education, but have chosen not to teach in the "real" school system because I became disheartened by the constraints placed upon teachers.

All in all, my kids had a great day yesterday. I worried for nothing. We shall see what today brings . . .

2007 in review . . .

Well, I wasn't gonna do it, but I guess I will.

January . . . brought with it some changes on the home front. Dustin had a rough time of the few months prior and we started a new and scary medication. "The mother of all anti-psychotics" the psychiatrist called it. It has been a lot of work, but well worth the troubles. It really has been a god-send. Our renters of 3 years moved out. Robert made yet another trip to D.C. for a peace rally. The church that houses the daycare I work at, purchased a new "home" and thus began the most thrilling, scary and eventful 8 months of my life. I am not a fan of change, and this year rocked my world in more ways than one.

Febraury . . . The Colts win the Superbowl. Before the game, our back bathroom pipes froze, I broke a toilet seat, and our front door jam broke and the door was completely un-usable. During the game we had a huge pipe break in the basement, but the Colts won and all is right with the world! We had a nice new family move into our duplex, and did a bunch of improvements next door. Dustin turned 12 and Robert celebrated his birthday as well. Harrison got his tonsils removed and he can finally sleep well and actually swallow food. Amazing. Dustin's behavior at school was absolutely out of control. We began sitting in class with him and he could do it. But, as soon as we left he began acting up and actually attacking staff. We knew all would come to a head soon.

March . . . We modified Dustin's school day to 2 hours daily to try to get some success for him. I bucked the idea and then listened to the success stories. Looking back, it was the best thing I ever did. It has allowed Dustin to make more progress in 9 short months than all the time we have had him combined. He also received his very own 1:1 aide. We also flew to Florida for a vacation with my mom. We had a fabulous time, and the kids enjoyed every minute!

April . . . seemed to fly by as we struggled to change our routines to come to grips with Dustin's new schedule. We had our yearly celebration at daycare and all went well.

May . . . Harrison turned 5. McCartney had her tonsils removed. We now have 3 kids and one set of tonsils. McCartney lost more than her tonsils . . . she hacked off the entire left side of her hair. Blessing in disguise . . . she hated ponytails and didn't like barrettes, now she doesn't need them. The mayor's race got interesting around here, and we worked for Tom as much as our schedule would allow.

June . . . The crazy summer at work began. The weather was beautiful and we spent long days outside with the kids. I got bronzed and tired. At home we stayed outside far into the evening playing with the neighbors.

July . . . Mommy had yet another birthday. I think we spent more time outside this summer than ever before. My kids would rather play outside than just about anything else. Work got crazy as we got closer to moving the facility. I worked in excess of 60 hours some weeks.

August . . . the moving day came. A giant paycheck with tons of overtime came as well. Robert and I celebrated 10 years. Well, I worked and he watched the kids. The move took a ton of time this summer. My baby boy went to kindergarten, and I put him on a "big bus". Dustin continues a modified day at school and is doing fabulous.

September . . . McCartney Raye turned 4 and moved to Pre-K. Football season returned and I could once again see my Colts in action. Robert made another trip to D.C. for a rally and spent a longer time there this time with a police officer friend from Chicago. He enjoyed his time tremendously.

October . . . I reconnected with an old friend in the "blogworld" Angie, and have been frequenting her site since. We installed a huge new playground at the church and worked our tails off to do so. Dustin "ran away" for the first time and scared the pants off Robert. The mayoral election continued with much ado. Tom stayed true-to-form and was kind and complimentary to his opponent through it all. Halloween came and went, an angel and Clark Kent attended the festivities.

November . . . We got to see Evan Bayh support our own Tom Henry. I was accosted by Kelty supporters, and Mayor Tom was elected. Our roof had to be replaced . . . ugh. My kids had their first trip to the Roller Dome and they fell down more than they stayed up. They loved it, and I loved sharing an "old love", roller skating, with them. We made our yearly Thanksgiving trek to Kentucky and spent time with Granny Wanda and Aunt Teresa. McCartney started having symptoms of her Spina Biffida Occulta and we began testing.

December . . . tests for McCartney all came back negative. Great! The writer's strike significantly hampered my TV viewing habits (my world is rocked). My hair got funky as I visited my old stylist. And we celebrated a wonderful Christmas season with parities, food, family, neighbors and friends. We are truly blessed!

And to all my blog-friends, thanks for sharing my year with me!

Fun with Mommy . . .

So let's see . . I'm up until 2:00 this morning playing a ridiculous Guitar Hero song and I finally go up to bed. I am kid-less. They are all three fast asleep in their beds, Robert is downstairs. I have the entire king size bed to myself! Ahhh.

At 4:30, I hear Robert's footsteps coming up and I slightly awaken to realize McCartney is sweetly sleeping next to me. But hark. . . what's that sound? She's retching. Oh my Gosh, awaken yourself woman! But too late, as Robert walks into the bedroom McCartney is now yakking all over my freshly laundered sheets and . . . well, me. As I wake myself, shaking my head to make myself as alert as possible with puke running down the left side of my body, I have Robert put McCartney in the tub. I run to the bathroom to choruses of "Mommy, my nose is bleeding too!" Arghhhhhhh! The tub floor is now covered in blood, and well . . . puke. I wash the kid, my arm and strip the bed.

So now my sheets are once again the in washing machine. My daughter is watching Blue's Clues, and I am now wake for the day.

Ah, motherhood . . . yawn.

**update. . . breaking news. It seems everyone loves me. I just walked in the kitchen and stepped in dog pee. Nice. Poor Cayenne, the excitement must have been too much for her.

Christmas fun . . .

Lazy dog . . . "who put this pillow in my chair?" . . .


Daddy is now addicted to Guitar Hero . . .


Uncle Steve is being attacked . . . "All my daddy a "damn liberal" again, I dare you!" . . .


Little boys LOVE Hot Wheels . . .


Little girls LOVE babies . . .

Bye sweetie . . .

The puppy poopin' machine is gone! Woohoo. I got a call and we decided to meet at the pet store nearby. While I was there wainitng, I had 4 people offer to take her. I should've went and stood there earlier! I have since had 3 more calls. I have developed a new love for craigslist.

Merry, merry . . .

Whirlwind of a couple days. Christmas Eve with my immediate family was nice. The kids were well behaved and I had spent the entire day cleaning, so I was relaxed and sleepy. My mom did stay and help me wrap the presents. Thank goodness, I hate to wrap. I figure the kids couldn't care less and decimate them in about 3 minutes flat, so I'm good. The kids had a great time opening some small gifts Christmas Eve and the "big haul" on Christmas morning. We then went to my aunt's house and ate till we about puked. Dustin, only had one melt-down and spent about 30 minutes in the van calming down.

When we got home, there was a lady standing the lot behind our house with suitcases and a puppy. When we got out of our car she asked if we wanted a puppy. I said that we had plenty of animals. She began to cry saying that she had just gotten kicked out of our house and was hitchhiking back to New Jersey. She said she couldn't find a ride with the pup. I am a sap. I said I would take the dog and find her a good home. About 10 minutes later I was wondering what I had done! A puppy. . . man, oh man.

She is a good dog. Fairly obedient, and after a few tense hours, she was pretty much potty trained. She has only had 1 accident since we got her. I posted her on craigslist, and a few strategically placed flyers around town. Hopefully she will find a permanent home soon. She is excellent with the other animals and with the kids. My daughter is gonna be heartbroken, but I keep repeating my mantra . . . no more dogs, no more animals, no more poop.

Here's to keeping our fingers crossed. . .