I got into a discussion over on another blog about FAS and the fact that there is no known safe amount of alcohol consumption for pregnancy. I highly doubt that it will drive any traffic over here (because they assume they know everything already!) but I thought I would pull out the fav FAS awareness post. . .
Some of the most common characteristics of alcohol related brain-damage
include: poor impulse control and poor problem solving skills,
inability to predict what may happen next, difficulty linking actions to
consequences, poor social communication (inability to read environments
and adapt behavior accordingly), limited abstract reasoning and lack of
trial and error learning. In addition, people with FAS/FAE have great
difficulty internalizing values, feelings and laws. Therefore, they do
not feel empathy for others or have a sense of justice. They can be
entirely unattached, feeling nothing, even for the people who raise
them. Because of these deficits, they have no internalized sense of
right and wrong. A person with no morals, empathy, values or feelings
can be a danger to themselves and to society.
Alcohol Spectrum Disorders are a spectrum of disorders that are a
permanent part of that child FOREVER because the mother made a choice to
drink while pregnant. It is a 100% preventable birth defect.
Pre-natal alcohol exposure was a choice. My son's mother chose to put
that bottle to her lips and drink, injuring his future and forever
altering the physical make-up of his brain. Intentional? No. But
Education is the best medicine for Fetal
Alcohol Spectrum Disorders. We MUST educate women who are pregnant. We
must educate women of child bearing age, whether trying to conceive or
not, that you do not drink if there is a possibility of pregnancy.
Let's face it. Most women don't know that they are pregnant for at very
least 3 weeks after conception . During that time you could have
already altered your child's brain, is it worth it? We must also
educate doctors that there is no safe amount of alcohol to be consumed
during pregnancy. Doctors who tell a patient to put their feet up and
have a simple glass of wine are negligent. They need education.
child's life was stolen from him. Just as a drunk driver hits a child
crossing the street and permanently disables her, my son was blind-sided
by a drunk mother. The vehicle just happened to be an ambilical cord
full of liquor. My son was robbed of a life he could've had.
that sounds like anger it is. I am irritated at the selfishness. I
am angry at the lack of education. I am frustrated in dealing with this
disorder every day. I love my boy and wish only the best for him. But,
while mother's of other 13 year olds are dropping their child of for a
day at the mall, I am looking at my son watching pre-school TV. While
those mothers are leaving their sons at a friend's house for the night, I
am drugging my son with very dangerous psychotropic meds to help him
fend off the hallucinations and get a restful night sleep. I don't
grieve for myself, I mourn the loss of my son's life.
Is he happy? Sure. Is he loved? Absolutely. His brain is broken. There are missing pieces. A few examples:
I am sitting on the couch watching televisions. He is in the chair
not more than 3 feet from me. He has just been told to leave the cat
alone because he has tried to keep him on his lap when the cat wanted
down. About 3 minutes later the cat saunters past him. He says, "Ozzy,
come here kitty." in a normal voice. I look at him. He says, "What? I
didn't do anything." "Dustin I heard you call the cat." "You did?
If I wasn't looking at him he has no idea how I heard him.
He cannot fathom that I caught him. He denies it. With every fiber
of his being he denies calling the cat. He begins to whine and cry and
hit is legs in anger. I let it go. I have said nothing more. He
continues to holler that he did not call the cat. I say, "Okay. Just
leave the cat alone please." Not 3 minutes later I see him out of the
corner of my eye looking at me. Waving his arms. I say "Dustin, I see
you." He wait about 2 minutes and slaps his knees to call the cat,
and says, "Here Ozzy." In a normal voice. I look at him over he top of
my glasses and he raises his hands in the air and says, "What?". Argh!
Dustin is CONSTANTLY hungry. If I let the child eat every time he
said he was hungry we would be in the poor house and he would be sick. I
buy him chips for the next day after school. Despite my efforts at
trying to keep them a secret he finds them. He asks if he can have
them. I tell him no, it is almost bedtime. I tell him that he can earn
them for a snack after school. About 3 minutes later he haaaaaaaaaaas
to go to the bathroom. I send him upstairs to avoid the kitchen because
I know he is trying to get he chips. Two minutes later he asks to let
the dog in, once again having to go through the kitchen. No thank you
Dustin. He asks to play on the computer. Sure. About 5 minutes later
I notice he is missing. The chips are open and he is munching and
crunching in the kitchen. RATS. Foiled again. I have him put them
away and return to the living room. He is watching TV at the kids
television in the room right next to me, in full view. About 10 minutes
later, I notice he is sitting on the floor. Unusual. I notice he is
sticking his hand under the couch. EATING CHIPS. "Dustin put the chips
back in the kitchen." I put him on the chair next to me. 20 minutes
pass, the asking is over. I think we are in the clear. I ask him to
go shower, he has to go through the kitchen. He showers and then runs
upstairs to get underwear. I realize is taking a remarkably long time
to get on underwear. He comes downstairs with a mouthful of barbecue
chips. "Dustin, put the chips away and get your pills for bed." He
complies. Morning comes, I decide to have a small baggie of chips to
take to work. I open the cabinet, no chips. I find the empty bag under his bed. Argh!
This is my life.
Object permanence is missing.
My child cannot ride a bicycle. He automatic memory is broken.
My son cannot read at more than a pre-school level.
My son cannot be left unsupervised very often.
My son cannot walk around the block alone.
My son cannot remember his address or phone number.
My son cannot understand risky behaviors and avoid them.
My son constantly needs an "external brain" to guide his behaviors and impulses.
My son cannot be medication free without hallucinating and living in another world.
My son cannot sleep without medication.
My son cannot be left alone.
My son cannot see consequences of his actions, or even see they are related.
son cannot ever have the life he should've had, but my son CAN live a
wonderful life that we have created for him and CAN say he is cared for
and LOVED unconditionally.
Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders CAN
be eliminated. Not one more child needs to suffer their effects. Not
one more child needs to grow up with the uncertainty, the impulsivity
and the frustration of having their brain permanently altered due to
their mother's choices. It can happen. Get out there. Educate.
And while your at it, if you go to the store can you buy me a bag of chips?
One year since he's been gone.
1 week ago