I have a hard time writing about Dustin and our issues lately. It seems that nothing much has changed and I have just acclimated his issues and behaviors into our normal life. When I do think about sitting down and blogging about them it seems so silly to complain about the constant chatter and the constant vigilance. 1. I assume you have all heard it from me for years and 2. the average person has no idea how constant that chatter truly is.
Talking. Oh my goodness. I cannot even express to you what living in a house with constant chatter is like. I believe it is truly because he has no impulse control and no "filter" that everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, that goes through his head spills right out of his mouth. His life and our life has a running commentary. He absolutely is NEVER quiet. Ever. (I know you are all sitting there thinking that I must be exaggerating, but alas, I am not!) He talks while there is food in his mouth. He asks questions and tells stories while watching tv. He talks while peeing. He asks approximately 19.453,112 questions per day, sometimes the same question 4,562 times. It is tiring. As if the talking is not bad enough, there is no escaping it because he is under constant supervision.
Constant supervision. He is never not in the sight of an adult except in his bedroom at night. He is always within 3 feet of an adult. If there is one adult in the house that needs to shower he is sitting on the toilet in the bathroom . . . TALKING. I go outside to water the plants, he goes and helps . . . while TALKING. When I make dinner, he is a true help . . . but TALKS. If he gets up in the middle of the night (his door alarm walks us up) and has to use the bathroom, I stand in the hallway waiting while we pees and TALKS. When he is in the shower, I am in the nearby kitchen ignoring his TALKING. He is allowed to go outside to take the trash around to the side of the house, if the windows are open, you can hear him TALKING to no one at all. (or if his meds aren't working right, you can assume he is talking to his "friends")
It is tiring. And did I say TIRING?! It is!
It makes me want to stab forks in my ears.
How are you?
One year since he's been gone.
1 week ago