I walked into the room this morning and Grandma looked great. Her color had returned and her and her skin was even warm. She is however not doing well. Her already badly damaged haert is reeling from the sepsis and she is now in full-blown septic shock. Her blood pressure is dipping very low and her heart rate is racing due to the increased blood pressure meds and all the fluids they are pushing.
Her cardiologist came in shortly before I left for work and said things are not good. Her heart is not reacting well and they are concerned. She even asked to clarify her wishes. She does not wish to be resuscitated with shock paddles or even have chest compressions. I asked if that would happen soon and if I should stay, she said the next few hours are critical, but we are not there yet.
She really just wants to go home. She wants to see her parents, her brother Stanley, sister Mary and my father, her beloved son. She was asking for my brother today, and I called him. He came right up and was shocked at how old she looked. Since he has lived in Minnesota for the last few years he had not seen her in at least 4 years. She smiled a great big smile when she saw him and and mouthed the words, "Hi Josh. I love you." That's when things started to go downhill. My great uncle, her last brother, had been gotten there an hour before my brother. I think she was saying her goodbyes. I just don't want her to suffer any longer. . .
Because I believed her
1 hour ago