Claudia had a great post that sums up my experience of adopting a special needs/abused/traumatized child. She said :
"I think that parenting is like an amusement park ride. Some people choose the Carousel. . . Adopting a child who is a victim of abuse or neglect is like getting on the roller coaster. You experience really high hills that are very fun and some calmer times that are very pleasant, and you also experience rapid downhill surges that make your knuckles white and cause you to grit your teeth."
Downhill surges. That's unfortunately where I was last night. I lost my cool, which I rarely do and I am sorry for it. Dustin loves schhol and yet is having a difficult time with the prospect of going back. Although he needs and loves the structure and routine of school, the unknown Middle School-factor is throwing a wrench into our lives. He is looking forward to it and stressing about it at the same time and that is more than his brain can handle. He is hateful, spiteful and extremely obsessive. In that past few days he has emptied an entire can of shaving cream all over the bathroom, ate TONS of candy from the candy-basket that he stole and took to his room, ate a whole FAMILY size bag of Doritoes, will not keep his hands off the animals (which is a rule since he hurts them) poured a whole bottle of hand soap into the toilet, spread toothpaste all over the bathroom, and has been quite aggressive with his siblings. He has also been extremely obsessed with looking at the ceiling . . . weird. ARGH!
All I can do is hope that this weekend will be calm and uneventful. I pray that he will enjoy his last school-free weekend and laugh and giggle and be my wonderful boy, not that mean spirited nasty thing I have seen recently. I am going to try my best to keep things even-keel and low stress. . . it's the least I can do. I want a carousel ride this weekend!