While I know it is all relative and many people are having hard times lately, whether it be financially, their trauma-kiddos, or the recent tornadoes across the nation, it's been pretty rough in my world. That is not a secret (because I do air my dirty laundry out for all to see . . . and one boy who shall remain nameless runs down the street in some of it!)
Today there were storms predicted all day. The storms were pretty intense this morning around these parts and I went out to run an errand at lunchtime. The storms had broken and there was a gorgeous sunny and warm day underneath. It was awesome. Had I not just stepped in a puddle that cleared the top of my sandal and soaked my feet, I may not have even known a rough storm just blew through.
They are saying that these storms will likely last through the evening and even have the possibility to spawn some tornadoes in our area. It could get ugly. It might be a rough night.
But right now . . . I choose to be thankful for the sunshine.
I think about how that mirrors the life we are living with a child with very specific needs like ours. He is organically affected by his mother's prenatal alcohol abuse. He is emotionally affected by the early trauma he experienced in his bio-home as well as with the many moves he experienced in foster care. Which one of us wouldn't be?
He has cycles of really rough behavior and then just when you think you cannot handle anymore . . .
Just when you think that the raging will destroy you, your family, and the life you live . . .
Just when you think that you are unable to maintain any sort of normalcy . . .
The sun breaks through.
It could be the behaviors diminish. It could be your way of thinking changes, his behaviors mellow due to your attitude shift, and you are better equipped to deal with the behaviors that linger. It could be that you talk to some heavenly women who are traveling this path with you and you get filled up to the point of overflowing with kind gestures, words and encouragement. It could be that you just put on your big girl panties and learn that this too shall pass and the storm will subside (even for a bit) and give you a chance to breath in the fresh air and soak in the sunshine.
Even though you know what COULD be around the corner. What could be blowing in from the west could have a horrendous impact on you and your family. But being able to have those few moments of sun can help fend off the worst of it. And perhaps it may just blow over altogether and you get a reprieve . . . until next time.
And you will deal with that when it comes.
Down to the River
19 hours ago