Can I just tell you . . .

Can I tell you how much I accomplished this weekend?

I went through the kids summer clothes. Tagged the clothes that would not fit next year for the resale and boxed them up.

I ripped up the carpet in the living room and extra room and bought new large areas rugs which meant visits to 2 Lowes was necessary. (We have hard wood floors but they have inserts so you have to have large rugs) This entailed moving all the furniture out and then back in.

I did about 6 loads of laundry and put it away.

Furminated Cayenne and the cat.

Mowed the lawn, trimmed the lawn, trimmed the bushes, trimmed two trees, blew the leaves, and generally cleaned up the yard.

Rescreened a screen from the living room window. Cleaned both living room windows inside and out.

Went grocery shopping. Browned 4 pounds of ground beef, bagged and froze them. Fried bacon, boiled eggs and cut veggies for salads and made 3 large salads for lunch this week. Made home-made chicken salad for lunches. And then made egg casserole for dinner.

Cleaned out the refrigerator and the laundry room.

Finished the 7th Sookie Stackhouse book by Charlaine Harris.

Did 6 hours of daycare work.

Wanna know why I am so freakin' proud of this list? Robert is having a really hard time with his hip. He was doing much better and now it is getting worse. He spent most of the weekend in bed in a pain-killer stupor. So I did all this with my 3 kids who are behaving fantastically. Amazing! I even took Dustin shopping both days and we was great.

I am certain i will be whining about behavior soon enough, but tonight I am relishing the fact that we had a good and productive weekend.

Love tomatoes? . . .

Does this look good to you? It is fabulously yummy! Head over to my recipe blog and check it out . . .

The Dustin update . . .

First week of school is almost over. We have not had one phone call from the school or from his 1:1 paraprofessional. Don't have a clue how school is going, but I suppose no news is good news. We have not had a melt-down after school. He has not ran out of the house. The only issue we have had is that he is having a difficult time falling asleep at night.

Last night he and I had a little throwdown about 11:00. He was mad that I caught him watching tv when he was supposed to be sleeping. He threw a little tantrum. Nothing out of the usual.

I am almost afraid to type this. I am afraid he will meltdown horribly since I put it all out there. But, Robert and I have made some changes in how we respond to him. He is getting a little more independence during the day. We are praising the snot out of EVERYTHING he does. He has done really well. He is happy and proud of himself. I am pleased.

Routine is a good thing.

Back to school . . .

My baby's first day of kindergarten . . .

First day of Second grade . . .


Waiting for the bus at daycare . . .

Is it ever gonna change . . . (or the one in which I curse alot)

Probably not.

Last night Dustin ran out of the house.

Again.

He was sitting on the couch with me while we prepared to watch Big Brother (I'm super addicted, even pay for the live feeds) I told him to go get his pills. He did. I proceeded to get his pill out and he ran toward the door. I said, "Dustin! I am not chasing you and I will not call the police again. If you walk out the door, you will be all alone."

Bad? Maybe. I have had enough. I am also getting concerned that if I continue to call the police and he is found hiding next door in the garage or in an abandoned house right nest to us, they will no longer think this is a big deal. I am afraid that if I continue to call when he runs out that when something really big happens they will simply take their sweet time and think we are crying wolf once again. (I have to wonder if this could have been the issue when the car hit the neighbors house and they thought it was no big deal. Do they track phone numbers or addresses?)

So he ran. Robert was gone, but thankfully when I called him he was on his way home. I kept getting glimpses of him running around the block. He was staying close. When it had been close to an hour and it was quite dark, I decided to go outside and call for him. At one point he came around a neighbors house and saw me and took off again. I was so angry at this point I could spit.

We have a pizza place that is literally in our back yard and one of the guys was standing out back. I asked him if he saw a boy and he said he did, he was hiding near the neighbor's garage and kept darting out. He was concerned someone would pull into the parking lot and hit him. As he was talking to me, the other employee came outside. He is a registered sex offender that I keep an eye on. That is when I began to cry. I lost it, right there in the parking lot.

That little shit (sorry, I have no patience for this anymore) heard me crying and still hid. The neighbor came home and asked if I checked his garage. I said I did and that I even went inside and checked the closets he uses for storage. He asked if I checked the back. I had no idea there was little cubbie-hole in the back, and lo-and-behold he was there, stuffed in a 2 foot space with gasoline and paint thinner surrounding him.

When I flung open the door he said, "Man! You scared the pants off me! I am really dizzy!" (the small space reaked of chemicals and I'd bet $50 he was dizzy!) In his world, the game was over and all was well.

Not so much for me. I think I am beginning to get Post Traumatic Stress Disorder with his running away. I also think I am shutting down. I won't lie and say that I didn't think just briefly about what it would be like to put him in an institution somewhere due to the running. It is getting ridiculous. It is draining on us as parents and it is scary for the littles. It is wreaking havoc in our neighborhood and for yet another reason we are being dubbed as "those people".

Is it ever gonna change? Probably not. Over at The Missing Piece today the author was talking about her child lying. I hate to be a "Debbie-downer" but if that child has FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) you betch 'yer sweet ass that child will continue to lie. It is miss-wiring. She talked about lying over things that were not even asked of her and thngs that really didn't make a difference. Yep. Gotcha. Mine too. Chalk it up to failure to equate cause and effect, or grasp consequences, due to prenatal alcohol exposure. (Truthfully I don't even remember if her child has been diagnosed with FAS, so maybe I am just talking out my ear) Am I saying you don't combat the lying. Nope. I am saying you try "everything and a bag of nickels" to try to get it through the damaged brain that lying is not only unacceptable but wrong HOPING BEYOND HOPE that something clicks in their heads. But, you realistically understand this may be something that is beyond their grasp. This is something that may hang on forever. Maybe that is where we are with the running. I can do everything in my ability right and it still may never click that runnign away is wrong. There may be nothing I can do to change it, but I will still damn-well try, what choice do I have?

What makes me sad is last night, if I am honest with myself, I would've liked to just not have tried. I would've liked to lock the door and say, "To hell with him, he'll come back". The fact that those thougths crossed me mind makes me sick to my stomach. (You need to remember that while he looks 14 and may seem to the normal eye like a typical kid, he is really a 3 year old in that body, so just forgetting it and letting him run would be crazy talk!)

Too true Tuesday . . .

The Accidental Mommy: Too True Tues

Okay, here's one where I admit I am poor and cheap.

This past weekend, I had to retire my comforter for our King Size bed. Seriously, do you know how much those cost?! Even the cheap ones are a fortune. I had been limping along on one I found at Kohl's on clearance a couple years back. But how long can one last when you have kids that pee YOUR bed and dogs that shed . . . you know . . . when you are a MOM? Anyway, our bedroom is not by any means decorated. It is a catch-all. A room full of mis-matched furniture that the kids have destroyed, but I can still limp along with. No one, I mean NO ONE, ever goes into our bedroom so who cares!? Obvisouly not me.

So I decided I was not going to buy a new comforter. The old one was beyond usable. All the stuffing had shifted in the last wash and it was lumpy mess. I knew I had two twin comforters in the attic from the kids. One that was purple and lavendar reversible, and one that was blue and turquoise reversible. I sewed them together and put them on my bed.

Really, I did.

And the best part is, two twin comforters are much wider than a king size one. Robert and I don't have to fight for the covers anymore!

But, boy is it ugly! Don't even think you are getting a picture.

Firsts . . .

I photographed my first wedding this weekend. I took 547 pictures. I thought I would share my two favorites. . .



What do you think?

Expectations . . .

I came to a realization today. I think I am truly lucky that I have low expectations for Dustin. I was thinking that while I mourn for the things he will never be able to attain due to the fact that his mother drank while she was pregnant, I do not have the feeling of devastation that he will not accomplish these things.

I am still trying to decide if this because he is not "mine". Do I feel this way because this is not my fault? Lord, that sounds awful, but maybe that is a small part of it. I think that is has more to do with the fact that I knew what I was getting. I knew what they had "projected" for his limitations. I knew what they thought he may be able to accomplish. I really didn't get to experience the frustration with a diagnosis I wasn't expecting. I did get to grieve for a lost future. I knew what the model was equipped with, so to speak, and I knew what upgrades were in included.

I am not saying that I do not hope for more for Dustin. I am not saying that I have excepted the limitations they "thought" he may have. I will give him every opportunity he desires and can handle. I will pray for him to exceed every one's expectations including my own. But I know he will never drive a car. I know he will not sit and read an adult novel for pleasure. He will not be able to live alone. I know there are certain things he will not accomplish or even desire to accomplish.

What I began thinking about this afternoon is why would this be different if he was my "own" child? What kinds of things would I be feeling if he was home-made? I suppose I would still mourn the life that he could have had. I suppose I could be in denial about what his future may or may not hold. I am certain I would feel a sense of guilt. I suppose I may not even want to accept the thought that he may amount to less than I had planned for my child. It would be very difficult for me to come to terms with all the hopes and plans I had for this child from the moment I found that he was growing inside me with the reality of his situation. Would I have a different view of his limitations because of the visions I had for him? Would I refuse to accept the fact that there were things that may stand in the way of his hopes and dreams? I suppose the answer is yes.

Maybe I have a bit of an easier time with this due to the fact that Dustin functions at a 5 year old level since his IQ is so low. While he firmly expects to do things that are "normal" because that is what is portrayed everywhere around him, he accepts comments that those things may never happen. Case in point:

D: Mom, when I get my license I want a fast car.
Me: Dustin, you probably won't ever learn to drive.
D: I already know how, or else I can take a class.
Me: Honey, you have to be able to read and take a written test.
D: Oh. But my friends will have cars.
Me: Maybe.
D: That's okay, I will just get a fast horse.

He knows kid's drive when they turn 16, but he accepted that it probably won't happen for him fairly easily. I decided to break the fact hat he cannot have a horse to "drive" to work to him slowly. Over the past few days while we were driving I said things like, "Hey do you see any horses?" and "Have you ever seen horses just randomly walking on the road?" Now he is quite aware that that will never happen either. He now knows he will learn to ride the bus to get places and rely on us and others to drive him places. Problem solved. He accepted it all in stride. No great disappointments for him to experience and for me to mourn.

So I guess I wonder if I wish I didn't feel so jaded. I wonder if I rather that I mourned the things I wish he could accomplish. I wonder if that is yet again something that is "less" than he should have. Maybe I am "less" than what was planned for him . . .

Greatest tip ever . . .

Originally posted at Supper Slackers, my recipe blog. . .

A week ago I was eating in a local mexican restaurant. I went to dig into my guacamole and the entire scoop was filled with the avocado seed. When I mentioned it to the waitress she kindly offered to get me another serving, and informed me that the cooks do that to stop the guac from browning. I thought hmmm, wonder if that works?

Today I made guacamole. I left two seeds in. (I figured if one works, two works better!) This picture was taken 3 hours after it was made. Look mom no brown!
I have posted my recipe for guacamole before, but here's a refresher. This is what I did today,

4 avocados peeled, seeded and smushed with a fork in bowl
4 garden tomatoes, I prefer roma
5 or 6 shakes of Tabasco
dollop of salsa (more if you don't use fresh tomatoes)
1/4 cup of sour cream (can add a little ranch dressing for a zing)
salt pepper
an avocado seed (or 2)

Mix and put in sealed container in fridge, with pits!

What was that noise? . . .

So, I am sitting in the dining room making earrings. McCartney and I are making earrings to earn money for a fundraiser we are doing at the daycare. The children's ministries are partnering together to dig a well in a village in Tanzania. We are saving change and I decided Cart and I could make earrings and sell them for 100% profit. We sold about $40 in earrings last week and I needed to make more. As we are making earrings I hear this enormous "metal" crash. I truly thought that the upstairs window A/C unit had fallen out, it was that kind of noise. Robert got up and looked out and hollered, "Grab your camera!"

This was the scene from our dining room window. . .


They are attempting to push the car out right before she gets in the car and starts revving the engine trying to make it reverse. During this he is yelling, "Go! Go! Go!" Needless to say they didn't get very far. Robert called 911 and the operator seemed quite uninterested in the fact that someone had hit a house and were tryingto flee the scene. I went out to get a photo of the license plate for the home owner and the fire department came who in turn called the police.

Both the firefighters and the police were completely uninterested in what we had to say so I stayed in my house and gawked. (That's the way I roll) After they all left I noticed the landlord was there and I went over. He said she was not only uninsured, but also unlicensed. She said someone had caused her to vere off the road and remarkably she managed to go completely thru the parking lot, avoid the garage of another neighbor, avoid the telephone pole and only hit the house. Baloney! She was thinking that it was an alley. I think she missed her turn and was trying to cut through the houses.

Productive . . .

Yesterday I also ran by a Goodwill store. I am rarely in that area and thought I would stop in. I found a fabulous set of KING SIZE sheets from Crate And Barrel that were never even washed. A complete set for $2.50!!! The fitted sheet is one of my favorite kind, with elastic around all four sides . . . ahhhh an OCD person's dream! Today I got out the sewing machine and sewed the pillowcases up since we used standard pillows. (and did a bunch of mending) I washed them up and they are all fresh, soft and smell of Downy . . . I can't wait to crawl into bed . . .

Also, thought I would share a cleaning tip with you. I got up this morning and decided to tackle the upstairs bathroom and floors.. It was time to get my our old porcelain tub clean. It is in dire need of re-sealing and it seems a little dingy all the time. It also gets that nasty grimy ring around it which is REALLY hard to get out of the porcelain pores. I decided to try something I have seen on How Clean is Your House? I wet the tub down, and sprinkled it with Arm and Hammer Super Washing Soda. (okay, the OCD kicked in and it was a tad more than a sprinkle) and then cute a lemon in half and used it to scrub the tub giving a little squeeze every now and then.

How did it work you ask?

FREAKING AMAZING!

It only took a little elbow grease (not really much) about 15 minutes of "soaking in" while I did the sink and the toilet, a rinse and a wipe. Sparkly clean! The fixtures even look fabulous. Okay, well, the tub is still not perfect, but as close as it's been since I've lived here. The toilet and the sink are awesomely clean and everything smells so fresh clean. I will definitely use this method in the future. (the washing soda really helps to get clothes super clean too when added to the laundry)


By the way, I picked up my clothing that did not sell at the Children Clothing Resale and I made a small fortune! I could not be happier. I will not divulge the actual total, but I will say it will almost pay my mortgage! Holy cow! What a blessing! Then I took McCartney and Dustin to the grocery since I ran out of time yesterday.

I know, I rock.

Need advice . . .

Okay, this is all hypothetical of course . . .

There was this woman and man who were fostering a child long ago. There was still visits with the bio-mom and she was looney. The county really didn't want to fight her for her rights. She finally relinquished her rights because said child was really behaving badly for her at visits, mom was severely mentally ill and also because the county promised her updates and/or pictures two times a year. The mom signed off on her rights to child. Foster family was bound to send updates and pictures.

Foster family adopts child. County of child (very near foster family county) doesn't even show up at court. No one from county is present and nothing has been sent from county. The lawyer of the family was thrilled that mother's request of updates and/or pictures 2x yearly was not entered into record, says it is in families best interest. Family still decides to continue with updates.

About three years into adoption the county worker calls. Says June update was overdue and mom was driving her nuts calling daily. Worker tells mom it MUST be sent out ASAP. Adoptive Mom is having a very difficult summer and forgets. Worker calls in 4 days and tells mom is in contempt of court order and to send it IMMEDIATELY or else. Mom tells worker to go take a leap and quit threatening her. Mom informs worker that NOTHING was in adoption decree about updates and they are coming at the discretion of parents and they will get there but worker needs to HOLD HER HORSES and wait until parents who are caring for extremely difficult child can catch their breath and buy some freaking stamps!

Worker gets pissed and says she is calling county lawyer. Mom gets call back in 15 minutes. Worker is terribly sorry and lawyer agrees that nothing is in court adoption decree and very sorry for the threats. Country screwed the pooch and bio mom could sue adoptive family for the updates. Adopted mom says over her dead body because it was closed adoption and the bio mom cannot sue them because she should have no idea who they are.

Mom sends update in a couple weeks. Updates continue to be sent to child by bio mom that new parents choose to file instead of read to him. PArents continue to send updates more or less on schedule for the next 4 years.

Two years ago the adoptive family got fed up with questions from mom in her letters about what activities he likes, does he play sports, what kind of books does he read, and what are his friends like? Adoptive mom send letter saying, "He plays with Dora, cannot possibly play sports, cannot read and has no friends because you drank while pregnant so he is terribly screwed up. We love him dearly, but he is not a typical 12 year old." Adoptive parents were very honest. They have not received an update from bio mom since.

This afternoon while mom may have been sitting in the DMV for a reallllllly long time, she decides to call to see if bio-mom was still contacting them and if it was really necessary to continue to send updates since they were no receiving any. ( and mom was 2 months late in sending this summers update) Worker was an ass. Worker said she had not received anything from adoptive parents since 2004 and that she counseled mom to "take it to court" about a year ago. Adopted mom flipped-the-heck-out on the phone with worker.

Worker calls back in 20 minnutes saying she found a different file with updates the mom said they sent. Apologizes for error. Says that she has no contact info for mom any longer. Adoptive mom asks if she should continue to send updates she refuses to answer and says, "Its not my job to tell you that."

What does adoptive family do?

If, of course, this was a real situation??

Friday funny . . .

Today I took the day off to run a BUNCH of errands before school starts in 2 weeks. I took Dustin so Robert would have a whole day of peace. Fun time. Fun times. Actually he did pretty well, we went to two different schools to register kids, we went to the bank, car wash to vacuum the car, out to lunch, the BMV, Robert's doctor, the veterinarian and Sam's Club. Whew!

Don't even get me started on the BMV. I was trying to get a handicapped tag for Robert. It is only good for 6 months. I had a paper from the doctor that was dated 8-1-09 and said "to expire on 2-1-09". Of course it was supposed to say 2-1-10. I didn't notice this. The girl checking me in (whose job it is to check to make sure everything is correct before she puts people in the queue) didn't notice it. I stood in line for 25 minutes and sat in the waiting area for 1 hour and 35 minutes waiting to be called. Then a dear sweet young man told me I would have to come back because it was wrong. I nearly cried. Actually I nearly choked the supervisor who had to nerve to ask me if I was checked in. No you stupid woman, I am sitting here for 2 hours without being checked in and my name was randomly called so I decided to come up and get you to piss me off! And guess what? That is just about what I said too. So no pass today and 2 hours of my day ruined. I didn't make it to the grocery before I needed to pick up the kids. But all in all it was productive day.

Anyway, the FUNNY part. . . We were sitting at a stop light heading to Sam's Club. Dustin had been sitting at the BMV listening to BMV-TV for 2 solid hours. This was the conversation. . .

D: Mom, when I get my license I want a fast car.
Me: Dustin, you probably won't ever learn to drive.
D: I already know how, or else I can take a class.
Me: Honey, you have to be able to read and take a written test.
D: Oh. But my friends will have cars.
Me: Maybe.
D: That's okay, I will just get a fast horse.

I nearly busted a gut.

The Accidental Mommy: Too True Tues

The Accidental Mommy: Too True Tues

I am doing this Too True Tues post for Essie since I too would love to satrt a big fun blog carnival type of thing too! Someday she will have to repay me.

Okay, my embarrassing thing? Ummm, well Essie blogged about Granny panties and I love me some granny drawers. No bunching, no floss in the rear, no lace needed. I am in total agreement with that one. I suppose I would piggy back on that and admit that I sometimes wear undies on the outside of my pantyhose so they do not bag in the crotch area (have I ever explained that I HATE the word crotch? I do!) I cannot handle the way pantyhose tend to creep downwards. Drawers on the outside fix that. Voila!

There, join us will you?

Garden love . . .

We made zucchini bread yesterday from 2 large zucchini's I got from the garden. My mom is the baker, not me, so I took it over to her house. We made 6 loaves. The kids LOVED it!

It rocks!

Sunday fun at Nani's . . .

Nani's water slide

Buddies in the hot tub at Nani's

Once again, adjustments . . .

Okey Dokey. After the trauma of the last post, things have looked up a bit. We have had a shift not only in our behaviors, but Dustin's as well. He is significantly trying. It is obvious.

We have tried really hard to turn this last runaway incident around and it has worked. We had some difficult behavior at the pool tonight for special needs swim (now they know why we are there and not at regualr swim!) , but all in all it has been a good weekend and Monday.

I woke up this morning and realized I needed to get all my stuff ready for the children's clothing resale that I participate in. I had loads and loads of stuff to price and box up. I thought I had another week. So today was a little hectic after work. I am done and tired. I loaded my car with 15 boxes of outgrown fall and winter clothes. I hope to make a small fortune. The sale is Saturday.

I really don't have the patience for blogging right now, but I didn't want the last post to remain on top and I didn't want to leave me few readers wondering if I jumped off the roof.

I have some fabulous pictures from the weekend I plan on uploading later. . .