Families. . .

Harrison had a wonderful surgery yesterday. His tonsils are gone, he had to have a revisional adnoidectomy and the remaining ear tube has removed. Thankfully the eradrum had grown in behind it so it did not need to be patched, so swimming in Florida is in!

He did so well. I was really bracing for the worst since the tubes and adnoids were awful when he was younger! He did puke quite a bit since he is far too much like me and he pukes well, but he was up running around and eating normally in about 8 hours. He hasn't even had any substantial pain medication. he slept better last night than he has in months since he could finally breath. and best of all, NO snoring!

McCartney was in the the doctor's office on Tuesday for a sinus and ear infection, and I was told her tonsils are big and her adnoids are huge and pussy . . . hope you're not eating as you read. . . so I have a hunch we'll be in surgery with her after our trip in March.

I have friends at my employer who are going through a rough time. There are 3 girls who adore their "daddy". Their father, who is a local pastor, is quite ill. He suffered a heartattack yesterday and is CICU and they don't think he will pull through. Funeral plans are being made and the family is devastaed as to be expected. I went and vistited today and they are doing as good as one can. It brought back so many memories of sitting at the hospital waiting for my dad to pass 10 years ago. It hardly seems like it could've been so long ago. . . Think about this family in your thoughts as you go about your day. Think also about your parents if you are blessed to still have them. Call them. Talk to them and listen to their voice. Pack it away in your memory and hold it in your heart. There will come a day when that voice is silenced. Let them know they are loved!

What a weekend . . .

Robert left me for the weekend. He went to D.C. for the peace march that I mentioned before. He had a nice time and I stayed home with all 3 kids alone. My mom and I took them out to eat on Friday evening and then did some shopping for Robert's upcoming birthday. The kids were very well behaved, but my mom looked frazzled by the time we were done. LOL

Saturday I stayed true to my word I didn't get out of my pajamas all day! It was glorious. I did however do a bunch of laundry and cleaned a little. I have a funny story about the washed from earlier in the week. . . when the washer went into spin cycle on Wednesday, it was making this horrible scratching-screeching sound. It sounded like something metal was hitting and scratching up against the drum. I was irritated because it was only one month out of warranty. I called a repar guy and he was out in a matter of a couple hours. When Robert called to give me a report he was laughing. I had a lang drywall screw in my pants pocket the other day, apparently it went through the wash and ended up poking through one of the holes in the bottom of the washer tub. It was the screw that was making the noise. I paid $60 to have a repairman open the lid and reach in to remove a screw! ARGH! But I am happy that I did not have to buy a new washer. . .

Sunday I was terribly depressed that I didn't have any football to watch . . .

Today I had to rescheduled Harrison's tonsilectomy for this week instead of at the end of the month since he can barely breathe in the night. It is almsost like sleep apnea and he wakes himself up from the snoring as well. His tonsils are so big that they touch his uvula and gag him. He has lost nearly 5 pounds in the past month because he struggles with swallowing. He gags most everything up. So . . .we are off to the surgery center this Wednesday to have those puppies yanked out.

ON the Dustin front, his behavior is just plain crappy. I was so looking forward to this new midication and it definitely has stopped the hallucinations, but his impulsivity is horrific! He cannot control himslef in he very least. The doc has added yet another medication tonight. We shall see. . .

Excited . . .

My life seems to be getting better . . . knock on wood. I have rented the apartment to a really nice family. . . big load off. Dustin is doing pretty well on the new medication. He is acting up at school and we had made some corrections with the medication, but he is SLEEPING. And that, my friends, is a great thing! Sleep disorders in FASD kids are awful since they have to be under constant supervision. Kari blogged about the same problem today, and it is not a fun thing.

Robert is heading to Washington DC tonight with a bunch of people for a rally tomorrow sponsored by United for Peace. He is looking forrward to that and I hope for a calm relaxing weekend. Mom and I are taking the kids out to dinner tonight and I don't plan on getting out of my pajamas tomorrow!

The Colts are in the Superbowl and all is right with the world. . .

More. . .

I didn't get enough Replacements with that last clip. I needed this one to remind me of all those days at Columbia Street West in the 90's watching every cover band in the area do this one . . .

Old times. . .

Here's one from my days at the skatepark checking out all the cute little skater boys. I loved to sit and watch them fly on the half pipe. I even got to meet several of the more famous skaters like Bill Danforth, Tony Hawk, Jeff Kendall and others. . .


This one is fIREHOSE. . .

Strange . . .

My husband was doing some researce on the Manning family this weekend. He found an interesting tidbit. . . Peyton Manning grew up in a home between Anne Rice, of the Vampire Chronicles fame, and Trent Reznor, of Nine Inch Nails fame. If you know anything about these two you would ask yourself. . . How oh how did he grew up so "white bread"? Just funny.

It's a mindset . . .

I have been majorly stressed lately. I have a lot on my plate right now and everything is not working together. I have tried to get myself together, but it hasn't worked too successfully. Yesterday I decided that I would try to let things go and stop worrying. That is difficult with my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but it can be done (along with some extra medication)! I made sure that I organized a few things last night that were weighing on my mind and I got a good night's sleep. Today I decided to wear some new shoes that I bought just for fun. I decided that if I had a differnet outlook, maybe I would feel differently. . .

Here's to an uneventful day!

The game that was . . .

Wow. What a game. I thought it was a goner early on, but had hope that my boys could pull it out and comeback to win. I didn't think it would be as nerve-racking as it became. After that good rally at the end of the first half, the crowd got back into that game and the boys got back into their stride. Much was said later about what Dungy had said in the locker room and they all said it wasn't "magic" just talk of execution. They had to execute the plays to get the yardage, and they definitely came back onto the field to execute!

The first drive of the second half yielded 76 yards in 14 plays resulting in a touchdown and they kept matching New England's scores until the last minute of the game when the Colts took the lead for the first time in 59 minutes.
That 3 yard run by Jospeh Addai (who I have said all year is my new favorite, and was a fantastic replacement for Edgerrin) cinched the Colts lead. The "comeback king" Brady still had time to work the ball up the field, but a field goal would not tie the game. But the "clutch" got stuck. Brady threw and interception right into the hands of Marlin "not of the Jackson 5" Jackson and clinched the victory. Nice! I love that it was Brady who handed us the win and I love that it was a defensive player that finished off the game. What a way to give our defense that has truly stepped up to the plate in the playoffs some much necessary confidence. I will remember that interception and the picture of Jackson diving on his back holding tight to the ball is forever etched in my mind.



There were many more wonderful plays and memorable moments. The offensive line touchdown on the fumble recovery by Jeff Saturday, the quarterback sneak on the first touchdown for the Colts, the Klecko (a former Pat) touchdown that resulted in the 2-point conversion to tie the game the first time and that play by Reggie Wayne as he recovered his own fumble before he or the ball even hit the ground.



The pure excitement and joy shown by all players especially Dungy and Manning, should have washed away any doubt that nay-sayers had about the Colt's being a Superbowl caliber team. Yet, today on NFL network I heard some fool talking about how San Diego and Baltimore have a right to be proud because they are better teams. He says that the Colts are not the best team in the AFC, that they were just lucky. What does it take for this team and for Peyton to get the recognition and the respect they deserve. There will still be those who will still say it was luck and they are not the best team even if they win in 2 weeks in Miami. Sad.

I can't decide what I am more excited about. The fact that they are going to the Superbowl or the fact that they stomped Tom Brady and the Patriots. Or the fact that they did it with the help of Adam Vinateri.

I am excited about the Superbowl, but today I will revel in the apparent disgust on the face of Tom Brad, the dejected attitude of Belichick after the game and the victory dance of Dwight Freeney.. Apparently sweater vests are better than sweatshirts. . . Go Colts!




*all photos from Superbowl.com

Nice realization . . .

Last night Dustin was laying on the couch watching TV in the "kids room". (We have a second family room downstairs that has a small couch and a TV mounted on the wall. It's nice because since we have to monitor Dustin closely, we can keep an eye on what he is watching and what the other two are doing as well.) He pops off the couch at about 10:00 last night and starting frantically looking around. It seems he has lost something. I ask "Dustin are you okay?" He replies with a puzzled look , "HEY! Have you seen my friends?" (He has been hallucinating for about 3 months continually and has a very "real" world made up that he communicates with them in.) I said, "Well, no. But I don't ever see them. Don't you see them?" HE says, "No, I haven't seen them all day."

SUCCESS. It may be a little success, but I'll take what I can get. At this point he had only had the new medication for one day and we had already seen progress. We also saw him sleep 12 hours last night apparently only waking once. He slept so hard I couldn't even get him to wake this morning. This is a child that once his feet hit the floor he is off and running. His poor little body must be making up for lost sleep and he seems to finally be resting comfortably. I will keep my fingers crossed that it continues to get better.

Chlozaril rocks . . . for now.

Drugs . . .

I will never complain about having to sign a book to get Sudafed again. It is ridiculous trying to get Chlozaril! First of all, our normal pharmacy doesn't even carry it. They told me it is too much trouble to do everything necessary to fill the script. The problem is, they didn't tell me this until 8:00pm tonight instead of 3:00 this afternoon when they knew this.

I went to pick up the script and the bloodwork that the hospital lab faxed over so that I could take it to another pharmacy and they initially refused to give it to me. Okay, let's see . . . you won't fill it, but you won't give it to me to get it filled elsewhere. Well, after hollering and nearly swearing I finally got my information and headed off to the other place.

The new pharmacy would fill it but had to make a call to a database first. They had to register my son with this national registry before they could fill it. The registry needed the bloodwork and other information. They will process it, call another place and verify the script and then they will call back to tell the pharmacy it is okay to fill it. Whew! I wonder how much it costs.

I'm still waiting to see if it will happen tonight. . . we'll see.

New medication . . .

The psych visit went great. The doc is putting him on the "mother of all anti-psychotics", chlozaril. I am happy that a change was made, happy that he listened, but concerned none-the-less because we are talking about a very seriuos medication. He had to get a blood draw done today and they will only give us 7 days of medication at a time. A blood draw must be done before we get another weeks worth. We will have this weekly blood draw continued for 6 months, then every other week for 6 months then we can go to once a month.

I hope that this will completely eliminate the hallucinations and allow him to function at a higher leve than he is currently. He has been given such a bum-deal in life and I hope that we will see a brighter future. I went from worried and frustrated to hopeful and positive in about one hours time. . . Maybe I need some new medication!

S-T-R-E-S-S . . .

Super stressed today. I am so terribly stressed. My son with FASD, Dustin, has had a difficult time sleeping since his last hospitalization about 3 months ago. We have tried every possible combination of timing with the current medication and we have reached a dead end. We need something else. This doesn't sound like a big deal to most people. But adding a new psychotropic drug is a BIG deal to Dustin's fragile chemical balance. I don't think the doctor wants to do it. But WE all need sleep. I cannot sleep well knowing Dustin is awake because I have no idea what he will do. He is impulsive and has no concept of consequences, so I am constantly vigilant.

That combined with the fact that he is STILL hallucinating is unnerving. He lives in a world that we cannot see. He is always talking to "someone" or "something" that he perceives as being real. I hate it. It freaks me out. It can't be healthy for him.

I do not want the doctor to suggest hospitalization again. I'm not ready for that. His behavior at home isn't that bad right now. The last time he was hospitalized is when the doctor suggested residential care. That did not go over well with me, and I am concerned he will go there again with that suggestion. Not acceptable.

My own fears and worries come to the fore-front when I have stressful times like this due to my own OCD. I tend to ruminate over worries and get quite frustrated and anxious. I need to relax, but my disorder won't allow it. I just want a resolution, and I want it NOW. It doesn't help that I have apartment for rent that I MUST rent soon, I hate winter and I have a situation at work that has me on edge. Aaaaaack!

News . . .

Pretty soon you will be hearing about a large property purchase in our fair city. There has been talk of it for some time, and was even mentioned in the newspapers a few months back. It involves the property that was originally owned by Calvary Temple Ministries on the corner of Lima Road and Washington Center Road.

The Paino family were pastors at that particular church for many years and a church split happened in 2003 after allegations of financial issues and indiscretion of the pastoral staff . The Paino family went on to found Carroll Road church, from which they recently resigned after Paul C. Paino's marriage to Sharon Carney last fall. The congregation that was left formed Lifebridge. It has been a rocky road with a lawsuit by the Paino family, a foreclosure on the building on Washington Center. Both churches that formed from the old Calvary Temple have since gone on to build new buildings.

The Washington Center Property reverted back to the hands of the Assemblies of God Financial Services when it didn't get enough money at a sheriff's auction last year. At this point, First Assembly of God on Coliseum Boulevard began to actively search for a buyer for their building. A seller was found and was courted over the past few months. That seller was courting another buyer for their property.

Today the dominoes all fell. In a joint closing, Saint Francis bought the piece of property across from the university that was owned by Abundant Life Ministries. They in turn purchased the land that First Assembly currently sits on, and that left First Assembly open to buy the Washington Center property. The Washington Center property will undergo extensive renovation since most of the building behind the new 3,000 seat sanctuary is old and very outdated and will house First Assembly as early as this fall.

The crankie threes . . .

My daughter has the most annoying habit. When she is upset at me or her daddy she she screams, very loudly, "I want my Nanny!" (My son called my mom Nana and we were Mama and Dada. When we became Mommy and Daddy, she became Nanny)

The funny part is that her Nanny doesn't baby her at all. She is just as tough and fair with her as we are. McCartney thinks it is a good thing to scream because she wants her own way and we are the ones not giving it to her.

The original O.C. . .

I love Social Distortion. All this reminiscing and getting back with old friends has got me listening to all my old music again. After almost 30 years, several treatment programs and many new members, Social Distortion still rules. Mike Ness is even still performing. He last performed at a charity function for Wheels for Humanity last month along with a veritable who's who of the punk scene. Here's a SD favorite of mine . . .

A new year . . .

I can't believe it is 2007. What a crazy year it has been. . .

We started off January with Dustin being admitted to the psych hospital for the first time here in Fort Wayne. It was both frightening and necessary. He spent 14 days in the hospital and was released only to return 10 days later. The positives . . . our we finally saw our son without any medication and our psychatrist had a far better idea of what we deal with on a daily basis.

In February I nearly sliced the end of my "pointer" finger off with an exact-o knife doing a proect at work. It was not fun! My son, Dustin, turned 12 and my mother had the first of 2 cornea replacement surgeries. My husband turned 51!

March was awesome as I joined a support group for parents of children with special needs. Dustin also spent the night at church with about 200+ kids for an overnighter. This was a true treat as we can't ever do anyting like this. He had a "shadow" the entire time and was great.

April brought with it nice weather, a trip to Camp Casey in Crawford Texas for Robert and a case of Scarlet Fever for Harrison. My pup, Cayenne, was hit by a car on Easter weekend, but did really well recovering after a brief stay in the pet hospital. Robert also lost his aunt Anne to cancer.

May was a month of funerals. We attended my aunt Mary's funeral and Robert lost his uncle Jr. It was a difficult time. We added rats to our pack of pets . . . my little babies. And Harrison turned 4.

June began my crazy summer hours. It also brought us a couple big storms. One storm brought a lightning strike that fried our fuse box, costing a pretty penny and then a day later we lost electricity to our block as trees fell all around us. We were without electricity for about 60 hours in a 3 day period. The tickets were also purchased for my first country concert . . . Kenny Chesney Labor Day weekend.

July was a month of reunions for me. The month prior I was given the address to a website that an old friend put together for us to post pics and get together. A bunch of my old friends contacted me and I reconnected with them a couple weeks in a row. What fun seeing old friends again.

August brought the first round of strep. I was hospitalized for a brief time and was given morphine for the horrible pain that I had in my head. UGH! The worst? The bill.

September opened with the Kenny concert at Verizon Wireless and I was finally exposed to country music tailgating! Woohoo. Met LJ and had a BLAST! MY baby turned 3! 3! Uncle Josh came to Fort Wayne and spent a week here. The kids loved having him here and I loved having my kids crawl all voer him and abuse him. And I was definitely ready for some football . . .

In October I fell through my bathroom floor. But, it made me find out that the shower had been leaking under the floor for years! And now I have a great bathroom. Dustin was once again hopsitalized to regulate medication for 2 weeks. School has been difficult this year, and the staff simply doesn't get it. The strep came back with a vengenance.

In November Harrison was quite sick and for a while they thought he had some rare illness. McCartney and I were the only ones to celebrate Thanksgiving and then I shopped my booty off the next morning with mom. The elections brought with it happiness with some of the turnouts in the county, and frustration with the sheriff's race.

December was productive and way too fast. We finally spent our Thanksgiving in Kentucky. Robert and I actually had dinner out with friends, that never happens! And, I had my Crass Reunion. About 150 people showed up and it was a wonderful time catching up with what everyone was doing! Christmas was great and I am looking forward to the new year!

And rest assured I'll blog all the juicy bits . . .

Old friend . . .

I had totally forgot an old friend was a cheerleader in the Nirvana Smells Like Teen Spirit video and then was hired to be in the Smells Like Nirvana video by Wierd Al. Here they both are . . .





Teri was a bit older than me but we ran in the same circles. She was so beautiful and was quite frightening. I know she could've kicked my butt. She had the coolest leather jacket with "the screamers" logo painted on the back. . .

There ain't no hole in the washtub . . .

I was reading Marked Hoosier today and I found a post he wrote before Christmas about Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas. It is my FAVORITE Kiddie Christmas movie of all time. So . . . even though it's past Christmas I had to post this :



How cute is that?

One Punk Under God . . .

I just finished watching the third episode of One Punk Under God. The show is basically what the documentary crew following Jay Bakker catches on camera. Jay Bakker is the son of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker of PTL fame. It is a wonderful program and I am so impressed by his convictions and his apparent mission to simply "love people" through Jesus Christ. The episode I watched tonight had him visiting his father in Branson. It was painful watching the riff between them. You could feel the tension between them after they spoke in private.

It reinforces to me that the "religious" sect or especially evangelical had a hard time when the disagree with someone. They are not the all-knowing translators of the Bible. They still interpret, and how do they know they are 100 % right? It scares me that they can be that exclusive. You need to understand that I grew up in a Pentecostal church. I still attend that church and support it monetarily. I do not agree with everything that is spoken from the pulpit. Do I have to? I don't think so. I can still see the greater good and can get past those things I think may be too open to interpretation. I have a personal prayer life, God can deal with me if I am in the wrong. Jay Bakker said something last week that I LOVED. He was preaching about homosexuals in the church and accepting them into his congregation. He said something I found totally astounding, "Because if we serve a real God and the Holy Spirit is real, if you think it's a sin, then don't you think the Holy Spirit will convict that person." Hallelujah! You got it! How can we turn those people away who are seeking the Lord? You need to give the Holy Spirit more credit than that.

That's exactly how I feel. WE are far too exclusive and far to judgmental. . . let's focus on loving people and let the Lord do His work.

Christmas Time . . .

We had a great Christmas. My mom, stepdad and brother (who came in from Minnesota) came over to our house on Christmas Eve for a simple little dinner and we opened a couple presents per child. They had a great time playing with Nanny and Papa and Uncle Josh. They had a difficult time getting to bed even though I cancelled the nap for the day. McCartney was so over tired and whiny. By the time we got her in bed, and told her she better sleep because Santa is coming, she began screaming "I don't want a present" in her nasty-est little girl voice. She was still awake at midnight. Mom stayed and helped me wrap all the kids presents while Josh stayed and watched Elf. It was like Christmas for me as we wrapped. I shop clearance sales all year 'round for Christmas gifts and put them in a large rubbermaid contained in the attic. By the time Christmas comes I forget what I've bought! We wrapped in record time. Everything was done in less than an hour. Robert and I stayed up and watched another movie and thankfully the kids didn't get up to see what Santa had brought them until about 11:00am.

Dustin was pretty well behaved. We went to my uncle's house and had holiday dinner and spent some time with my mother's family. Dustin was once again very well behaved and was even able to play appropriately with the cousins. He was by no means perfect, but he was better than I expected. Last year was awful, so any improvement is good. It's nice when the family says, "Wow, Dustins' doing well." You always have to lower you expectations and it's especially nice when the family doesn't expect too much from him either. All in all it was a good day.

McCartney and I took a looooong nap when we got home. Bad idea. McCartney was still up at midnight when I went to sleep finally giving in and telling her to keep on talking, but I was tired. I have no idea when she gave in, but she was horrid to get up this morning for daycare.

It was whirlwind of a weekend, with the reunion, the parties and the big guy's arrival at home, but I had a super time. We are truly blessed!

Fort Wayne's Subculture's still got it . . . .

Wow! Last night my a bunch of my old friends from the 80's and 90's got together for a "Crass Reunion". It was fantastic! We had people fly in from Maryland, California, Wahington State, New York, Portland, Minneapolis. . . etc. We had the best time! It was so awesome to see everyone again and it was as though 20 some years hadn't passed. I think my husband even had a good time. I'm certian that a ton of pictures will be posted on our site at FWSubculture. The best part of it was that I'm not the only one who has put on some weight! LOL. So many of my friends looked fantastic and many looked as though they hadn't even aged! We are some good lookin' people for as hard as we played as young'uns. It was so great to ask people about their families and have them pull out pictures of their kids. Some of them have kids that are as oldas we were when we met. Growing up is crazy! Hopefully we willall get togehter more often. . .

Bored & holiday surfing . . .

Open Sesame . . .

This was my favorite from Sesame Street. . .

Head banging . . .

I found this information on Kari's blog. I found it quite interesting and informative when it comes to FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) kids and how it affects them. It sums up my life with Dustin pretty well. . .

Let me tell you a story about some baby chickens who had FASD- Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders- who were a part of a research study. These chicks were put in a plexiglass box and they were deprived of food for long enough to make them quite motivated to find it. Food was then placed outside one of the walls of the plexiglass box where they could see it but not easily get to it. The exit for the chicks to get to the food was at the other end of the box. Non-exposed chicks figured it out in no time but the chicks with FASD did not. Sadly, they sat and banged their heads against the plexiglass wall again and again trying to get to the food. But that is not the end of the story....

The researchers showed the baby chicks with FASD how to get out of the box and how to get to the food. The chicks were able to repeat the action and get food.... until the next day when the experiment was repeated. The chicks with FASD had forgotten how to get out of the box and get to the food, (Welcome to my world) but again it is not the end of the story.

The researchers repeatedly and patiently showed them the way out and eventually most of them were able to retain the information and get food! Some took a long time and had to be taught over and over and over again but most were eventually able to do it.

Amazing! Repetition does work. It is annoying when you have to do it each and every day. Sometimes something will sink in and you think, "YES! Something got through that wall of FAS finally!" But the difficulty is that you don't know how many times, how many days, how many weeks, how many years it will take. You have to keep perservering. You have to remember that it is not his fault that he cannot do a task you have told him 2513 times how to do. We are human and it is hard. I lose my cool sometimes. I try really hard to be patient and calm, but life doens't always work that way.

Dustin is the chick. He has been prenatally exposed to alcohol. But somtimes I feel like the chick banging my head against the wall. I can see the end for Dustin, but I have to figure out a new way to get that end accomplished. But, I still bang my head on the wall, the wall of FAS.

Golden slumbers fill your eyes . . .

Dustin did not sleep one wink last night. When you have an impulsive child that needs constant supervision this is not a good thing. Robert was up with him most of the night, but the "alarm" that we have on his door woke me almost every time he opened the door, which by the way felt like 3198 times. He finally went to sleep about 8:30 this morning.

It is amazing to me how a child can be on enough medication to make a grown adult sleep for days, and still manage to stay awake. It once again points to the fact that his brain chemistry is just plain wacky.

This is not just from the crazy weekeend. His sleep habits have been going downhill fast. The last 5-6 nights have been difficult and now they have finally bottomed out. I have an appointment at the pychiatrist at 12:10 for him. Hopefully we can get this remedied. We also need to get a handle on his hallucinations. He has an entirely fictional world that lives around him. He is constantly talking to people who are not there, and creates this fantasy life for himself with a wife and an alternate family. Some people may say that is a good imagination. The problem is that it is real to him. Not good, not good at all for a child who doesn't know how to seperate te two and doesn't always live in reality to begin with.

13 days . . .

With 13 days until my "reunion" party. I thought I'd post an oldie but a goodie.



You see several months ago my friend came up with this wonderful idea for a website for a bunch of us old friends to get together, share old photos and old memories. Since that time a whole ton of us have found the site and relived our teenage and early-twenty past. It's been a blast. We are all coming together this Christmas Season for a Crass Reunion. I have friends coming in from all over the United States, and I can't wait to see them.

Pre-Monday Meanderings. . .

I have had a whirlwind of a weekend. We were so very busy this weekend, but it all ended very nicely. Dustin was pretty well behaved this weekend especially since we had so many different things happen to screw with his routine. I'm not so certain that tomorrow at school will be very good though. Typically a whirlwind weekend ends up making a crazy Monday. He did go with my mom to a fast food "jungle" to crawl through tubes tonight while Robert and I attended a holiday function, so he should sleep well. Hopefully no biting, hitting or crawling around will happen at school tomorrow.

I had the opportunity as we attended 2 holiday parties this weekend to talk to some people about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and I always love when I get to educate someone new about this horrible disorder. My least favortie thing is hearing "Oh you two are so wonderful. He's so lucky to have you" because I don't feel wonderful most of the time. I feel ineffective and angry most of the time . I also hate referring to it as a disorder, because it is totally 100 % preventable, unfortunately the one who gets the disorder has nothing to do about it. I think that educating people is important, but I think that educating prospective mothers, young mothers and addicted mothers is the true key . . . like what Kari does. I'm working on my bitterness. I am truly angry with Dustin's birth mother for being so selfish to continue to drnk while she was pregnant, but I wasn't there, I wasn't in her shoes. I need to heal from that anger, but it is so difficult as I and more importantly Dustin lives with her mistake daily.

NEXT. . .

There has been all sorts of talk about me and my views lately. I've been called names had cute little commentary on other's blogs about me and my views, etc. I put those views out there so they are indeed fair game. I am not be-moaning that fact. Your commentary makes me laugh. It makes me more certain that I have chosen the proper friends in life, and more importantly, makes me happy that I live in a country where I can post what I please, and others can as well. As long as I am not breaking the rules of the service I am using, or the laws of the land, I have the wonderful opportunity to spill my guts. If you don't like it or agree, post a comment. I welcome your opinions so long as they are not nasty. Go ahead and write about me on your blog. It simply increases traffic here and maybe one of your readers will come over here, read something they agree with and/or learn something. Life is full of differing opinions. That makes for a wonderfully fullfilling life.

Believe what you may, I am an open minded person. I love to learn about what other people are thinking, that's why blogging is fun for me. (well that and the plain and simple nosey-ness)
I will never know you from reading your blog. I will only know what I read, tempered with my own experiences in the vaccuum that typing produces. I may learn certain things about you, but I will never KNOW you. In the same manner you will not know me. I am pretty up front in person. I am right there. What you see is what you get, but blogging will never get you that "feeling". You will never know my intentions, so don't make an ass of yourself and assume you do. So go ahead call me a liar. You are simply making yourself look foolish. That is, except in the eyes of your sheep. . .

Baaaaah

It's the most wonderful time of the year . . .

Today we took the kids to Democrat headquarters for the kids Christmas party. They had a blast! They got to decorate cookies, ( they still are wearing the blue food coloring on their hands, lips and clothes from about 2:00 this afternoon) meet Santa, open a small gift and knock the stink out of a pinata. It was such a nice event and even Dustin was very well behaved! Harrison shocke the heck out of us by being quite "brave" when it came to meeting Santa. As a matter of fact when Santa came in, Harrison ran right over to him and hugged him. I'm sill shocked by that one. This is the child that freaks at the sign of Chuck E Cheese . . . okay I guess he is a giant mouse. . . anyway, he was great. At the end he talked Tom Hayhurst's ear off. Once you get Harrison started he doesn't quiet easily! Here are some highlights of the afternoon . . . .


McCartney with the man of the hour . . .


This one was a shocker. . .


Tired kids.

A quick weekend visit . . .

As I type, we are on our way to Kentucky to visit family for the holidays. What an adventure riding in the car with my three children for about 5 hours so far. (That's actually one more hour than I slept last night.) It's been over a year since we've made this trek and I forgot what a drama it is, even with DVDs, it's still a challenge. We did stop in Indianapolis to go to the Colts store. Circle Center Mall was crazy . . . so many people were there do their Christmas shopping. My kids are simply not very well behaved in places like this. Dustin had a fairly major meltdown in the Colt’s store and it culminated in him laying on the floor near the jerseys howling about not wanting to do what I asked. Nice.

Anyhoo, we are back on the road and we just passed an old converted school bus. It was painted in Colt's colors, had emblems all over it and was filled with about a dozen or more fans in jerseys and sweatshirts. Apparently they are heading down to Tennessee for tomorrow's game. Harrison said :

"Mommy, look! A Colt's bus. It takes the Colts to school."

Another Colt's moment was when, what I'm assuming is a half drunk man shouted "WOMAN! Alright! Go Colts!" At me as I was getting out of our van at a rest stop. Our van has a large Colt's horseshoe on the hood. He was also headed to Nashville for the game tomorrow as he cordially shouted to me also.

Another road trip funny . . . Robert just pointed out a deer that was laying near the side of the road. I was busy reading (Messiah of Morris Avenue - which by the way is SUPER) and I wasn't paying much attention. I didn't want him to think I wasn't listening to him so I responded by saying, "Dead?" And he said, " Well, it was laying near the road feet out and legs stiff. I didn't have much time for a diagnosis, but I'm pretty sure it was dead."

Smart Ass.

Okay, now I've heard it all. We had convinced he kids to look for farm animals as we traveled the last leg of our trip through rural Kentucky on 31W. Thinking maybe they would stop fighting, touching each other and wailing. The kids were shouting out the animals they saw which included cows, horses, llamas, buffalo, chickens and dogs. (Harrison even mentioned a dead skunk in the street) Dustin said the cows were eating real food. Robert made the smart-alek comment about "plastic food" that followed naturally. Dustin started naming foods cows eat and Robert asked if they ate cow eggs. Dustin said, "Cows don't hatch, they get born-ed out of the mother's butt." I nearly lost it. Then he adds, "The doctor has to reach in their butts to help them get born-ed. But he does use a really big glove"

Okay, maybe a little too much Animal Planet for him. Hopefully it was animal planet . . .

It is now late in the evening. We got to visit with Robert's sister before she had to go to work at a Western Kentucky Hilltoppers basketball game. And then we invaded Granny Wanda's house. After we spilled our drinks, ran through the house scaring her poor dog, Precious, half to death and spun around in her swivel rocking chair 379 rotations, we went shopping. I'm not sure I'll return to that store ever again. I think they probably have our security camera pictures already printed and posted on all the registers as suspected terrorists.

Dustin began our trip by taking off through the parking lot from Robert. He then jumped up and down screaming that he had to "PEE" in the toy section, had a holy conniption fit in the shoe section, hollered about calling the cops in the juice isle, laid on the floor in the frozen food isle refusing to walk near me as I had asked and then told me to shut-up several times on the way to the register quite loudly. Nice trip. Pleasant experience.

I'm heading to bed. I deserve it!

More Stories from the road . . .

Sunday, we spent our day hanging out with Aunt Teresa and her grandkids. We had a nice visit. The kids really enjoyed themselves and the family was shocked at how big they have gotten. Dustin was good off and on. We went to Granny Wanda's house and the kids wanted to go to the field to see the cows. So off we went into the frigid weather to stand near the cows for some photos. Unfortunately John, mom's significant other, got a new farm pup for his bithday. Her name was Molly and she thought she would help by herding the cows AWAY from the kids. Nice job Molly. After walking way into the fields all the while keeping an eagle eye out for McCartney NOT to step in cow poop, I felt that my frozen ears would fall off the side of my head. Finally I gave up and turned around. I think Harrison was channeling Miami Dolphin's old running back Mercury Morris running through the field avoiding cow patties. Instead of walking directly between two cow patties he would zig zag through a whole row of them and keep on running. It was hysterical. Robert took the kids to the barn to see the chickens and I went inside to warm up.

Right now we are heading towards Elizabethtown on 61. We came across totally stopped traffic on I65 at Sonora and pulled into a truck stop to use the restroom. There were so many Colt's fans pulled into the stop that it looked like we were tailgating at a Colts football game. We decided to follow a guy from Louisville on an alternate route since apparently there was a pretty serious accident on 65.

The guy is flying through the country roads and as we came over a hill and around a curve there was something quite large in the road. As we passed it you could tell it was a refrigerator box all folded over and squashed.Here was the exchange :

Robert said "Whoa"

Dustin asked "What was that?"

I said, "Box"

Dustin said, "Dead box?"

Too funny!

Success! We are now back on I65 and heading back toward Indiana. I'm gonna be beat at work tomorrow, but all in all it was a nice visit.

More State Street memories . . .

John asked for me to share some more memories of the old State Street area. So here goes . . .

My favorite part of State St is gone. I LOVED Aroma Pizza. I can remember going there almost everytime we went to my grandma's house and got grinders. The BEST grinders around. They also had wonderful sausage rolls. They had an old coke machine that had a door and you pulled the bottles out a hole. I literally cried when they closed. (and I was in college then)

Then there was the donuts at Scott Bakery. The HUGE cinnamon twists and the Fort Wayne Cruellers, which were like dunkin sticks. My mom loved the cinnamon twists and I would take her one to work when I was in trouble and it would right all wrongs. When I got married, I HAD to have my wedding cake from there. As a little girl we would stop in there and get the big Sesame Street cookies that were as big as your head, like cookie monster that would dye you tongue blue for hours. I loved the window down the back hall where you could watch them decorating the cakes in the back room. The morning I walked in there to get donuts a couple years ago and they told me that they were no longer making donuts I sat in the lot behind the place and cried.

I can also remember the OLD Candlelite and of course the tenderloins at the Acme. My grandma would take me there for lunch at one or the other and then we would head to Buschbaum's Drugstore which is now the parking lot of the library. Next to the library was a Roger's Market I think, then it was an IGA and finally a liquor store before becoming the library addition.

Most of my memories are about food. What is it with me and food. Says A LOT huh?

We'd always walk past the firestation and we would stop at Pio's Meat Market once in a while or stop into Fort Wayne National Bank on the corner of Crescent to do some banking. We would inevitably see the blind man who lived on Crescent near the flower shop. I used to see him every now and then but haven't seen him in the past couple years. I wonder if he is still around. He'd have to be pretty old. He never had a dog, just a red tipped cane. I would watch him cross the street as a small child and I was amazed.

My grandfather was in charge to hanging the Christmas decorations down the State Street Corridor up to Anthony Boulevard I think. The decorations mostly adorned the light posts.

About a year ago I saw a story on the news that talked about beautifying the stretch of East State from Kentucky to Florida. The exact area I am talking about. I was so excited. Not much has changed yet. But I guess the funds are there. The original plan had a couple of arches that spanned the road on the entrance to this area. I would live to see the plan come to fruition.

all photos courtesy of Allen County Album - rights of ACPL

A forgotten memory . . .

John over at Fort Wayne Left posted a picture of an old map he has of our fair city. He made specific mention to the residential facilty for mentally handicapped youth over on State Street. On the map it is referred to as "Indiana School for Feeble Minded Youths". We called it the old State School. This jogged my memory significantly. . .

You see, my grandparents lived directly across a very lightly traveled road from the State School. My grandmother babysat for children for as long as I can remember. She was always home during the day while my grandfather worked since she was very epileptic. I have heard her tell numerous stories about coming into the living room and finding one of those "feeble minded youth" sitting on their screened-in porch on the glider or sitting in the recliner in the front room watching television.

I can even remember my grandparents had the phone number to the State School taped to the inside of the cabinet next to the phone on a yellow piece of lined paper. (There was also a pig shaped cutting board that hung on he wall next to that phone. Who didn't have one of those back then?) They would simply call the school and someone would come and retireve the patient and walk them back to the facility. That is, after my grandmother would feed them some of her famous banana bread. I'll bet that's why they always found their way back to her porch. It never rattled my grandmother. She would say, "Well, at least they're coming somewhere safe."

Back to the grindstone . . .

Both kids are back to daycare today. McCartney has been out for nearly 2 weeks and Harrison was out all last week. He is tons better! Thanks for all the warm thoughts and prayers sent his way. The high fever was quite scary. Harrison did however pass along a wonderful protion of his illness to me. I have a miserable eye infection. I have never had pink-eye like this before. it is scratchy, red, swollen and hurts likes the dickens. Thanks buddy, I love you too.


They were miserable going back to school this morning. With a little crying, prodding, bribing and finally pulling they went into their rooms. They are fine now and enjoying being back with their friends.

Families . . .

I used to think that my mother's family was close. We had holidays together, they came together for birthdays, and we spoke on the phone. My grandmother passed away about 12 years ago She was a wonderfully witty, ornery and loving woman. I didn't realize until a few years ago that she was the glue that held our family together. After she passed, we started having separate holidays. One of my mother's twin brothers completely withdrew from the family. They began having their won celebrations. His wife, my favorite aunt, became a distant part of my "old" life. She didn't even see my children until Harrison was about 2 and I'm not really sure if she's even met McCartney. My grandfather with whom I spent HUGE amounts of my childhood with became distant as well. You see, my grandma and grandpa pretty much "raised" me. I lived with my parents, but I was ALWAYS at their house. They took me out to eat several times a week, I went camping with them almost every weekend, and even as an adult I spent a lot of time at their house. I was the eldest and the only granddaughter and when my grandmother was sick for the last 2 years of her life, I was obligated to visit and eat dinner there at least once a week maybe more. My grandparents were a large part of my life.

My grandfather spent about 5 years mourning my grandmother. Spending each and every day at he grave site "visiting" her. Then . . . he found a girlfriend. I only see him on Christmas and he doesn't even know my children's names. He always calls Harrison the wrong name . . . Benjamin. Oddly enough he tells stories about "Betty's" great grandchildren's escapades including names and ages. I tried to keep close, I'd call and visit, but he never reciprocated. Remarkably phones work both ways, he could call me as well, but he doesn't give me the time. It makes me sad and bitter.

My father's family hasn't been much better since he passed away. They don't call even when my grandmother was hospitalized with a heart condition yet they harp on me for not keeping in touch. They must have those same one-way phones that only ring , what are the odds? They don't call on birthdays, holidays and didn't even visit when my kids were born. I try to keep in touch, but I have 2 small children and a special needs child. Still, I call more often than they do. My aunts and uncles on that side are not exactly classy. I attended my great aunt's funeral a few months ago with my mother. My aunts and uncle were rude which didn't surprise me, but what did surprise me is that my grandmother was nasty as well. What exactly did I do wrong?

On a positive side, my mother was remarried 9 years ago. She married into a wonderfully close-knit family. They have excepted my brother and I into the family as if we always belonged. I went to my step-brother's house for Thanksgiving. The whole family was there. They are wonderfully kind, generous, loving people. I think of them as my own family. Thank God for people who still value family. They know me better than my own families. They send my kids cards on their birthday, visited me right after I had the babies, pray for us nightly, and call to see how we are all doing. They treat us like families should.

I am still wondering how to deal with my dad's side of the family this Christmas. I don't really want to go to their smokey, trashy Christmas after they treated me the way they did at the funeral. I don't want my kids to have to spend their Christmas with people they don't know and people who don't care to be a part of their life. My dad would understand that. I think I'm going to have to write a letter to my grandmother explaining my choices. I don't think I could make it worse.

Wow, what a lengthy kvetch. I will hold the memories of my family close. I will miss them and maybe we will come together again. For the mean time. I truly am thankful to be welcomed into a family that values one another. I am blessed.

Memories . . .

Harrison had to return to the pediatrician's office today. The doctor is thinking this is a virus but he is concerned that it could be a percursor to Kawasaki Syndrome which is a blood infection that affects the heart. If they determine this could be the case, he would have to go into the hospital and have some intravenous gamma globulin. They will not label it Kawasaki until he has the fever for over 5 days. We are only on day four.

When we left for the doctor's office he was running a 102 fever. While there he was actually under 98.6 degrees. About an hour later he was up to 104 again. This is going to make me crazy.

Well, since we weren;t gonna be able to go to Kentucky fro Thanksgiving, I decided that McCartney and I would go downtown and attend the annual festivities of holiday lighting. Fort Wayne has this wonderful 155 foot long Santa and sleigh that is on a downtown bank building. It has been there for as long as I remember. I can rememebr going dowtown with my parents and brother and watching them light the Santa. I can remember there being about 20 cars in the parking lot and about 50-100 people to watch the lighting. We would then travel down the block and eat at Coney Island Weiner Stand, a Fort Wayne icon.

Fast forward to today. McCartney and I headed downtown about 5:40pm to see the lighting at 6:15. Wow. People everywhere! We had to park a few blocks away and shuffle around until we got close enough for McCartney to see the Santa. We found a nice spot on the median on the road they closed off in front of the building. After about, oh I don't know, 3 minutes, she proclaims, "Mommy I have to potty." You have to be kidding me. I could not find a building that had a bathroom that was open, so we tromped back to the car and I did lots of convincing her to squat behind the van. The whole time she was saying "I have to pee in a potty!" quite loudly.

We then ran quickly back to the festivities, shuffled back through the crowd to yells from McCartney of "This is NOT our spot." Thankfully we got close enough to where we were to appease her. The Santa was lit and McCartney was thrilled. We then shuffled like a herd of cattle down the street to the lighting of the Christmas tree. By this time she was exhausted. I had her on my shoudlers when she starting getting heavier and heavier. A gentleman next to me said, "You should probably take her down she is nodding off" Apparently her head was bobbing around like and old man trying to stay awake in church. She refused to walk and my back was killing me so as I sat her down she collapsed on the ground in protest refusing to walk. Like the good mother I am, I took pictures of my child laying on the sidewalk. I knew daddy had to see this one. . .


Girls night out!


The big red guy


Before the meltdown


Fort Wayne's tradition


Oh the drama!

Bored and waiting for next medication dose . . .

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 8 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Thanks Claudia!

No Thanksgiving for us . . .

Well, I came home from therapy with Dustin this evening after a short trip to the grocery. I came home to Harrison sleeping on the kid's couch. He looked pretty blissful, about 2 hours earlier he was awake, alert and relatively non-fevering. After I had been home about 20 minutes I came over to feel his forehead and he was burning up. I took his temperature and it was 105.1 ! After a quick call to the after hours doctor and we were off to the hospital.

By the time he was seen at the hospital, he had a temp of 105.6 and was very lethargic. His eyes were red and swollen and he was barely able to stay awake. I was quite frightened. In all my years of daycare, had never heard of a fever so high before. I was so concerned that he was going to have a febrile seizure. Luckily, with more medication his fever did finally subside after about and hour and a half at the hospital. They think it is simply a viral infection or possibly Kawasaki Syndrome which can be quite severe. We have to really keep an eye on this fever and with any symptoms that he may develop in the next few days. I'm certain that we will be off to the doctor again tomorrow.

Keep my little sugar in your thoughts and prayers. Right now he is sleeping behind me, snoring away. His beautiful blond hair is wet with sweat as his fever hasn't quite subsided all the way. I am truly blessed with the ornery little thing, and I simply want him to feel better soon. Sorry Granny Wanda, Kentucky will have to wait.

Lysol bomb . . .

I think I need a lysol bomb in my house. Acutally yesterday I wiped everything down with bleach, walls, door knobs, light switches, and drawer handles. Our family cannot get better. Right now the two little kids are horribly sick. McCartney came down with it on Thursday: high fever, lethargic and very irritable. She went to the doctor and got medicine on Friday, but ran a 103 fever all weekend. Harrison was okay until Saturday when his eye starting getting goopy. I thought it was pink eye, but it kept swelling and spread to the other eye. I took him to the doctor on Monday, and our pediatrician was very concerned. He had a sever sinus infection which had effected his eyes as well and the doc was quite worried, treating it aggressively with a shot and hefty anitbiotics. I was in shock, McCartney was presenting much sicker than he was. Well, that is until about 9:00 pm. I came over to the kids couch and felt Harrison's head, he was ON FIRE. I temp-ed him and it was 104.8 degrees. YIKES!

I freaked out. I called the doctor's after-hours service - I got his partner, who is a fabulous doctor but has the personality of a potato. He acted like I was crazy for over-reacting. Over-reacting? My child's brain is cooking. I gave him a huge dose of Ibuprofen and it finally broke and starting going down in about an hour. Today, the shot is definately taking effect, he is doing much better and I think we may actually get to go to Kentucky for the holiday. Crazy how kids can bounce back from illness.

A public service announcement . . .

I became a certified American Red Cross instructor about 3 years ago. Due to my job and the fact that I train all new employees as they come into our facility, we decided hat it would be more cost efective to have a trainer on site. It was a a lengthy process of classes and tests and was quite pricey, but I'm so glad that I did it. I have had to take CPR and First Aid for the past 16 years due to my profession, however I feel as though I really know the material for the first time.

I always have staff tell me that they don't know if they will know what to do in an emergency situation, I always encourage them that the skills will come back and you will remember them. Each age group used to be was diferent counts, different depths of compressions, different speeds etc. This past year the Red Cross and the American Heart Association revamped the CPR skills and make it far simpler. All the skills are generalized and pretty much the same for each age group, adult, infant and children. It is wonderful! It has given people the confidence to give CPR and it is still as effective as before. I am always very cautious to tell my students that you are not trying to resart the heart, the goal of CPR is to simply circulate the blood through the body until advanced medical care arrives.

Learn CPR. Your family is worth the time and effort.

Give me a break . . .

I just received a call from my son's school. Apparently he had punched a child in the "privates". The administrator called me because she was concerned that it may be sexually motivated. Bull-oney! He is a 5 year old in an 11 year old body. He thought it was funny! I understand he cannot hit, but hitting in the "privates" is not significant other than that. I spoke to him, gave him what-for and assured her that he would be punished and that he was not acting sexually, he simply does not function on that level. Her last statement was that she would "speak to him about how that could be construed as sexual harassment".

Whatever. She just doesn't get it.

The way kids heads work . . .

Today I was painting all day. The kids finally left me alone and got involved in playing a game in the computer room. Harrison was jumping on the daybed wearing a football helmet. He was playing "football" and making plays. Pretty much he was saying "hut-hut" a lot. Anyway, he was telling his sister that he was number 88 Marvin Harrison.

McCartney goes "Yeah, you're Marvin Harrison and I'm Marvin McCartney!"

I thought that was a pretty good grasp of our language, and darn funny too.

Blue Moon of Kentucky keep on shinin' . . .

The Rouse's will be venturing to Kentucky to see family later this month to celebrate the Turkey Holiday. I am oh-so thrilled to be traveling for 7 hours in a car with my three children. But, I suppose that I must have a pre-cursor to the 20+ hour drive we will be making in March when we travel to Florida.

We haven't been to the state of bourbon and spelunking for well over a year and a half. (speaking of spelunking that reminds me of a long 4 hour trip through Mammoth Cave 5 months pregnant and asthmatic UGH) The kids love to visit Granny Wanda and see the cows on her farm, so they will be thrilled. Mccartney will truly appreciate it this time as she is older and much more independant than she was the last time. Hopefully we will have good weather. This picture was taken the last time we were in the great state of Kentucky. It was not taken on the family farm, but I thought it was hysterical. Used Cows? Funny!

On a side note, it is always odd to join another families holiday celebrations. I am very much a creature of habit and when you change my traditions it screws with me. The weirdest thing is the difference in the food. I think my family's food is the best when it comes to holidays. Robert's family makes wonderful food, it's just different dishes and different ways to prepare them. It's weird for me. I miss my "traditional" Crozier family dishes, but after 9 years I have come to appreciate and enjoy their Thanksgiving as well.

So . . . watch out Granny Wanda, we're comin' . . .















Here's a picture af a very young Harrison on the farm

Scary stuff . . .

Anyone that has child involved in special education knows that IEP can be a scary thing. I had an IEP conference today to amend Dustin's IEP with a new behavior plan. I have been dreading it all week. I knew that I would have to bring up some issues that I thought the school was falling short in. Well, slap me face and call me spanky . . . they had already made adjustments to their programs and had included all my concerns into the behavior plan already. I made very few suggestions and they were all very minimal. I knew that this staff was pretty amazing and worked hard together, but I was dumbfounded.

It was a very positive experience and that is rare when it comes to FAS kids, IEPs and behavior plans. The administrator that was there was kind, encouraging and helpful as well. I was totally impressed.

Another scary thought . . . Tina Taviano lost her race for sheriff. Scary? Yes. We now have a good old boy running a multi-million dollar budget on a high school diploma. . . yikes. Congrats Tina on all the hard work and effort and heart you put into your campaign. You are a true hero in my book!

Funny stuff . . .

I was reading one of my daily reads and Claudia did this. I thought I'd give it a try and it is some funny stuff. All I did was google, "Sheri is a". Thanks for the idea Claudia! Here's what I found . . .
Sheri is a dedicated professional who takes great pride in her ability to transform an average head of hair into a work of art (if only I could do my own hair so that it looked presentable)

Sheri is a sweetheart, but don't think that means she won't speak her mind! ( you got that right sister!)

Sheri is a mother to three daughters (oh heavens, thankfully no)

Sheri is a kewl chick (Sheri hates when people spell cool KEWL)

Sheri is a certified pet dog trainer through the Certification Council for Pet Dogs (have you met my dogs? Definitely not obedient)

Sheri is a wise, wonderful and vivacious Teacher and Counselor of Wholistic Sexuality for Men & Women (uh, yeah)

Sheri is a Registered Master Level Reiki Teacher and Practitioner, a Certified Arch Healing Practitioner and a Birth Doula with a Spiritual Birthing (apparently you weren't within a 2 mile radius when I gave birth, or you would've heard me screaming profanities mixed with prayers for the end)

Sheri is a saint by my definition and you can't go wrong supporting this project! (oh well, that's right)

Sheri is a straight-talking woman (once again, nailed it on the head)

Sheri is a cozy "comfort sweater" that has all the appeal of your favorite polar fleece (way too hot blooded for fleece)

Sheri is a morals advocate by day, and an exotic dancer by night to help ends meet (this one just cracks me up!)

I could've done this all night. Very funny!

VOTE, VOTE, VOTE, and by the way, VOTE . . .

I woke this morning by rolling over and putting my hand into something wet. I waz thinking that Harrison, who had joined us sometime in the night, had pee'd in my bed (eeeew) so I lifted him out of my bed and sent him to the potty. I went to the bathroom and told him to change his undies when he said, "But mommy, they're not wet." I walked back into the room and realized he had "yacked" all over my bed. Then I realized that I had put my arm in it. Gross! You must realize that I was awoken yesterday to my daughter telling me at 4 in he morning that "Mommy I choked" and was covered in puke. Robert has been working at headquarters, so I had to stay home. Yesterday and apparently today as well. I better not get it next! I'm loading up on my herbs so that maybe I'll ward it off.

I decided to get up and go vote early. It was a wreck. There were no signs on the street or in the complex where we vote. And no signs near the door of the building where we vote. This voting place is new and changed just before he primary, so many people haven't used it. I was told I had to sign in on a legal pad. When I asked why, they said it was for the volunteers. I asked who, and they couldn't give me a reason. After about 3 more questions I was told it was voluntary, but it was not made to seem that way. I still don't know what it was for, I did however, not sign it. I waited in a long line and did my civic duty. I took great pleasure in NOT pressing the button for Mark Edward Souder for the 7th time. That is a personal record!

Got out and vote. And by the way . . . don't let your son crawl in bed with you after your daughter has been sick. . . it's yucky!

I give up . . .

I'm done. The strep is back. I have given up on traditional medication and I will try herbal remedies. My sister in law is a staunch advocate of herbal remedies and I have also resorted to them in the past. I have had strep 3 times since the beginning of August. Obviously the medicine is not cutting the infection. It is still laying dormant in my body.

I am off the slay the strep with lots and lots of Echinacea, Golden Seal, Vitamin C and an immune booster that I can't spell. . .

My big man , , ,

Check out this picture. Harrison is getting SO old. I amazes me how big they get so quickly. Each and every day I look at him and think it can't possibly be true that he has grown into the child in front of me.

Halloween fun . . .

We had the Harvest Party at our church last night. My kids are so funny. They wanted to dress up as Rocky and Bullwinkle. We got lots of laughs. After this picture was taken they decided they wanted to switch costumes. So McCartney was actually Rocky and Harrison was Bullwinkle.

Give me a break . . .

Dustin has been out of the hospital since Monday morning. He has had a great week. Now, remember that your defination of "great" and mine may be different. Great for us is no therapeutic holds, no crawling around on the floor biting our ankles like a dog, no pretending to pee on his peers like a dog, no "meltdowns, no agressiveness, and he has slept through the night since Tuesday. It does not mean we have had perfect behavior, he is still impulsive and has to be watched. "Great week" for us means that we can actually enjoy our life and our family without wanting to pull our hair out.

Which brings me to school. . . (Oh I so hope that his teachers aren't reading this blog) Dustin gets a behavior card to bring home everyday. It tells us whether he had a happy-face day or a sad-face day. Tuesday through Thursday had an OK in the middle of the faces. The comments were things like, "kicked a student in the hall" and "ate candy he was asked to put in his bookbag". Whoop-de-doo. This is the child two weeks ago who was out of control, running out the building, doing all the behaviors above AND and threatening to spray 3 or more adults with a can of Lysol. . . yes my child was wielding a can of Lysol like a weapon, my life is so fun. Anyhoo, today we got a note that while changing his clothes after gym he pulled down his pants in the boys bathroom and shook his butt at the other boys. Okay, you have to understand Dustin has had this same note sent home about 15-20 times in he last three years since he has been in a regular school. GIVE ME A BREAK. This is a problem. Hmmm . . . it doesn't take a rocket scientist to stop this behavior. . . DONT LET HIM CHANGE WITH THE OTHER BOYS. You are setting my child up for failure by allowing him into the bathroom with all the boys in the class. Duh.

We are gonna have some issues at our behavior plan conference coming up. Artivle 7 in Indiana says that you must change your environment so that my child can succeed. You need to change your program to benefit the needs of my child, and having him change alone is not that diffcult of a thing. Okay . . . vent over . . . I feel better now.

My little star . . .

If you live in the county, you may have received this flyer to promote Taviano for Sheriff. As anyone who reads this blog knows, we are supporting her campaign and volunterring for her. Tina called me one morning this summer at about 7:30am, while I was still sleeping, and asked if she could take pictures of our family for promotion.

I ran around getting the kids up, doing their hair all in about 100 degree weather in about 15 minutes. This was their favorite picture and they choose to use McCartney for the cover of the mailer. (And the best part is . . . my gut is covered by her head LOL)

Isn't she adorable? My little democrat. . .

My friend . . .

My friend strep returned this week. If you read this blog at all you'll remember that we have a hate-hate relationship. I had strep in August and it kicked my butt heavily. I ended up in the hospital for a short time on morphine. This time I got it early and I didn't end up too bad. I was at a church function Monday evening when my throat began feeling horrible. Luckily Tuesday I got into the doctor and got a shot and some anitbiotics. I was out the whole week, which sucks for the paycheck, but I am feeling tons better now.

Dustin is doing well. We had arough week with medication. He began shoing signs of EPS from the Geodon. EPS is a nasty reaction to some psychotropic drugs. We have been down this road before. Last time it was with Trazadone. It was so severe that he began having terrible hallucinations of demons coming to get him to take him to hell, his tongue swelled up and the muscle contractions were so severe they looked like seizures. We spent 3 days in a regular hospital that time. This time I caught the EPS early in a visit last Saturday (before anyone at the psych hospital did) and they pulled back the medicine hoping it would level out. With benadryl and some time it did and we got to keep giving the Geodon. The doc added another mood stabilizer last night, and he is terrific. He is happy, smiling and definitely not drugged up. I think he may get to come home tomorrow. So now we are on Statera, Geodon and something else. NOTHING he was on went he went in. It amazes me the amount of medication they can choose from.

McCartney has adouble ear infection and crabby . . . I'm off . . .

Weekly woes . . .

I haven't blogged all week. The fact that I have been so incredibly busy may have something to do with it. Where do I begin?

My son with FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) was hospitalized again on Monday evening. His impulsivity had grown to an alarming rate and with all the med changes his doctor had done over the past month, his psychiatrist thought it was time to re-admit Dustin. They took him in as an emergency admit since all the beds in the children's unit were full. That is not a prime situation for Dustin as too many kids (all with issues) do not make it easy to get much accomplished.

He has not had a real good week, which I am thankful for. I know it sounds funny, but I want them to see the true behaviors we are dealing with. The school sees horrible behaviors as well, and with the number of kids on the unit, I think they have been seeing those also. When we admitted him on Monday, his doctor made the comment "Have you ever considered residential care?" I freaked out. NO! I will not institutionalize my child. He is a 4 year old in an 11 year old body. He doesn't get consequences, behavior modification rarely works and NO I will not lock up a child I made a commitment to when we chose to adopt him! I would have loved to say all those things, but mostly I just cried and told him I could not do that. Robert was quite upset when I told him about that conversation and agreed that it was definitely not the time for residential care. I was glad that we are on the same page.

Today I went in for family therapy and for his treatment planning meeting. I kept hearing the therapist saying "he's making bad choices" and "you need to do the right thing". He can tell you what choices are the good ones, and he can tell you what the "right thing" is but HIS BRAIN IS BROKEN. He cannot equate the situation you talk about with the situation at hand. I pretty much told her that I was tired of the expectations being too high; that he cannot function in that manner and he probably never would. I explained that I feel only about 30% of his choices are defiance, and the rest are chemical and impulsivity. In treatment planning we visited the same issues. The doctor heard me out and agreed to some extent. He said that we should have no expectations when it comes to behavior, which is so very true. He began talking about residential care again and I emphatically told him I would not revisit that subject and that I would tell him if it was ever the right time. I told him I would *NOT* do that now and he should not mention it again. I totally respect this doctor and his opinions, but this subject is closed. I was so proud of myself!

Hopefully this weekend will help Dustin to calm down and give the new meds some time to take effect and see if they will work. We shall see . . .

Success . . .

Guess what I did last night? I took a shower in my very own new shower! Well, that kinda sounds like the start of a Foley instant message . . .LOL . My shower is complete, and better yet, watertight. Woohoo. I have always considered myself the handy one in this marriage. In fact, a few months after Harrison was born I can recall sitting in the dining room fixing something with my drill and Robert washing dishes about 5 feet from me. Harrison was watching me and Robert said, "this child is gonna be so confused, you with the drill and me washing dishes." Robert turned out to be quite handy in fixing the bathroom. He did almost everything himself with a little help and direction from a couple people. Now he's in for real trouble. . . I know he can fix things, so he's gonna be quite busy this winter around here! Best of all, no more baths for me!

This whole Foley thing honks me off. And the worst is the comments about the Democrats holding on to it until it was hurtful to the Republicans. If that was the case wouldn't they have used it before the last presidential election? And even if they did hold onto it, the other side would've done the same. That's all I'm saying.

Friday night was quite eventful around here. We had just gone up to bed about 3:00 when my nieghbor's beagle began barking madly. He would not stop that howling beagle bark. Then my dog started in her kennel downstairs. I heard shouting and when I got up to look out the window I saw police officers running to my house. The street was crawling with police cars and I hadn't even heard a siren. Robert threw on some clothes and headed downstairs. Then I saw the officers dragging a man to their car and hand-cuffing him. When we went outside we found out that he had robbed a convenience store around the corner, shot the clerk as he tried to run away, driven the car to the front of my house (iwth the cash register still in the back seat), and tried to escape on foot. The officers found him next to my house hiding in my shower box! Zoinkes! The officers spent a short time looking around our property for the shotgun he had used and did not find it. He probably chucked it somewhere, but now I'm paranoid that my kids will find it somewhere nearby. I'm glad we went to bed just before all this, had he seen we were up he may have tried to get in our house.

Off to watch the Colts whoop on the Titans. . .

My social deviant years . . .

I posted a few months ago about a website my friend developed as a scrapbook for all of us who hung out together to post photos of "way beack when." He called it Fort Wayne Subculture. At that time I think there were about 100 of us and there were about 900 photos. Now there are about 250 members and about 2000 photos.

It's actually been really nice to reconnect with old friends, some whom I haven't seen in about 15-20 years. I have met some old friends out and emailed others and chatted about the directions our lives have gone. There are always those comments posted that say "anyone heard from him?" and "I sure miss her" and the inevitable "I wish someone would direct her to this site" Well, last week the local paper, The Journal Gazette, ran a story on JR and Heather and their work on the site. It brought tons of new people to the site. You can read the article here if you are interested.

We are also having a "class reunion" of sorts in December. I can't wait to see everyone again. Man . . . I need to lose about 50 pounds by then. LOL

Monday Musings . . .

Wow, what a weekend. Not good mind you, just interesting. Let's take a look . . .

Robert and Dustin were sick Friday night. They both slept all afternoon into the late evening, thus Dustin was awake most of the night. Dustin awake and everyone else asleep makes for a disasterous situation, so I was awake most of the night. Harrison woke up coughing horribly at about 6:30 am, just as Dustin went to sleep again, so I was up and fully awake at 7:00 after doing a breathing treatment for Harrison.

Saturday was slow moving, but I had this gnawing urge to purge unwanted items from my house, so I went to work. I clean out all the kids clothes that no longer fit them and brought down the fall/winter stuff from the attic. Fun. . . not so much. I think I made more of a mess than I had before.

Saturday night Iw as supposed to attend a hog roast for Tina Taviano, my choice for sheriff, but my mom was sick so I got stuck at home with the kids while Robert had fun. About 10:00 pm I went to take a sleeping McCartney into the bathroom to potty before I took her up to her bed and I sat down on a stool while she was doing her business. As I plopped down, I prmptly fell throught the floor (no fat jokes here). Apparently, my old metal shower stall has been leaking from underneath for quite sometime and the SIX inches of flooring rotted clean through to the basement. Did you read that? SIX INCHES of flooring. You see this bathroom and my utility room was built on an old outside porch. Apparently someone thought it would be a good idea just just keep adding wood to the floor to build it up to meet the back of the house. The SIX inches of flooring was so wet it felt like mashed potatoes when you put your finger in it.

Histerics begin! Saturday night I spent a couple of hours destrying my floor to see how far into the bathroom the rot went. I had giant gaping holes in my floor and could like right into the crawlspace under my house. Not a good thing. Thankfully Sunday my uncle came over, gave me some direction , volunteered his plumbing services and we began to put together a plan. My house is terribly old and thankfully they used very thick very hard old hickory for floor joists, so I don't have any structural damage. It's actually gonna be a pretty easy fix with lots of elbow grease and sweat. Robert is home today tearing out the shower and bad parts of the floor. He did find that the bottom of the shower was about 4 inches of cement that had been tiled on, so I now own a sledgehammer. Positivity? Well, I will now own a brand spankin' new shower and have a beautiful new flooring. I may post some pictures of the bathroom damage, but then again I may not ever want to remember what it looked like again.

Sunday my Colts won a hard fought game. The last play nearly killed me. I thought it would never end. It a good thing there is rot in my living room because I would've went through the floor there too with the way I was jumping up and down. Here's how it went down . . .
How the Jets moved downfield on their multi-lateral, multi-fumble final play against the Colts:
• 3rd-and-3, Jets 32: (Shotgun) Chad Pennington pass short middle to Leon Washington to Jets 40 for 8 yards
• Lateral to Brad Smith to Jets 37 for minus-3 yards
• Lateral to Laveranues Coles to Colts 44 for 19 yards
• Lateral to Pennington to Colts 37 for 7 yards
• Lateral to Justin McCareins to Colts 35 for 2 yards. FUMBLE
• Fumble recovered by Brad Smith at Colts 33, to Colts 37 for minus-4 yards. FUMBLE
• Fumble recovered by Coles at Colts 40, to Colts 27 for 13 yards
• Lateral to Nick Mangold to Colts 27, no gain. FUMBLE
• Fumble recovered by Colts CB Jason David at Colts 34, to Colts 39 for 5 yards (tackle L.Washington)

Whew!