Day 2 Monuments . . .

Here we all are at the World War II Monument. It is massive and beautiful. There is a pillar for each state and an amazing tower for the Atlantic and one for the Pacific. It also includes a large fountain in the middle with water features on each side.






Harrison was really excited about seeing the Lincoln Memorial. He knows a bunch of information about President Lincoln and was really looking forward to seeing the Monument. The last three are pictures of the Washington Monument from the Lincoln Monument and the reflecting pool .
We also saw the Korean War Memorial during day 2. The wall is amazing has has images etched into the war of actaul soldiers from this war.

Day 2 Downtown D.C. . .

The first place we went downtown, after one of McCartney's many bathroom stops, was the White House. It wasn't nearly as impressive as I thought it would be. It actually looked a heck of a lot smaller than I thought it would. On one side, there was a man wearing an "Out of Iraq" sign and singing, it freaked my kids out. On the other, there were many people taking pictures.




Here are the kids in front of the Capital building. It was not very busy and the kids played around the grounds a little bit. The reason there may not have been many people there was probably because they had a sort of rally on the green. It was anti-circumcision and they had signs that said, "A foreskin is not a WMD" and "Foreskin is not a birth defect" and "Circumcision is TORTURE". I found it quite funny.





Here the kids are in Lafayette Park right across from the White House. We spent quite a bit of time standing in front of all the monuments and memorials all around the city while the kids climbed up the stairs and posed on the monuments. . .

First trip on the subway . . .

We spent our entire first day with McCartney asking in her best little girl whiny voice, "When are we going to ride the subway? I wanna ride the suuubwaaaay!" We spent the whole day saying, "Tomorrow darling!" So, day 2 started bright and early with a trip to the closest Metro station to head downtown. The kids LOVED traveling on the Metro. I was amazed at how safe and clean and fast they were. I would so use a subway daily if I lived in a large city. Harrison loved following our journey on the subway map and plotting our adventure. . .

Washington D.C. day one . . .

We spent our first day in Washington primarily in the car. First we drove out to Mount Vernon. The lines were incredibly long, it was pretty chilly and the admission fees were pretty hefty so we looked around and checked out the shops. The area was gorgeous and the trip down the George Washington Parkway as beautiful. We also got to experience the city from across the river. There were all kinds of boats and skulls on the river. I really enjoyed my first look at downtown and the monuments in the distance. Here the kids stand near a large bust of Washington at Mount Vernon.

Then we decided to head toward Arlington and see Arlington National Cemetery. I was concerned that the kids would be too loud and rambunctious after being in the car for so long, but they did really well. I was struck by the pure awe I felt at the number of grave stones. It is absolutely beautiful and yet sorrowful at the same time. We walked up the hill to Kennedy's grave and looked out over the cemetery and they city across the river. After a few reminders that this was a place to honor the soldiers that died keeping our country safe and free, the kids did a nice job of being silent and respectful as the sign says. Here are a few more images from the cemetery . . .






From the cemetery we went back to our hotel and checked in. After a brief rest we were ready for dinner and decided to head toward Baltimore. After eating, I convinced Robert to head into the city and find Charm City Cakes, the home bakery of Ace of Cakes on the FOOD Network. While driving around the city looking for the bakery, we ran into this cute little coffee shop called "Peace and a Cup of Joe". Of course we had to stop and take a picture of their sign.




In the true tradition of adventure, we drove around looking for the street the bakery was on without asking for directions. Truthfully I thought maybe we'd get laughed at for asking where we could find Charm City Cakes. We found it pretty easily since Robert has a fabulous sense of direction. While driving around I fell in love with row houses. I would LOVE to own one of these buildings and I am certain I would paint it a crazy color. . . As you can see we did find Charm City Cakes, but no sitings of Mary Alice or Chef Duff!


We had a great day and the best thing was, the kids slept great!

What a long, strange trip . . .

We have returned from a Spring Break trip to Washington D.C. I was a little leary that everything would be a tad-bit old for my little ones, but it was a FANTASTIC trip! They had a blast, and it was extremely inexpensive since most everything is free! I am working on a daily journal of our travels and will post it later. For now, here's a teaser of us on the steps of the Lincoln Monument . . .

A Tale from Tallil . . .

I received this today from my friend in Iraq. . . touching . . .

Hey,
Yeah its all true and pretty crazy. There are some things I cant talk about because of security reasons. All I remember is standing listening to my Ipod with one headphone in my left ear that way in case something does happen I will know about it. I heard a sound comin from the sky but I thought maybe it was an incoming C130 and then a loud boom with a flashing light. A force pushed me off my feet and I landed about 5 feet from where I was standing back into a table. I couldnt hear anything but ringing in both my ears, my right one more than my left. After recovering I had realized we were being attacked. It was by the grace of god that missile landed the way it did because if it had landed 5 feet in either direction I would have been seriously injured or dead. I pulled/tore the muscles in my right shoulder and have hearing loss in my right ear estimating about 5-10 percent but there is a chance it will be back. I keep a bible in my left inside pocket with a bookmark on Psalm 91 and realize how grateful/lucky i am to be today.

Thank everyone. . . for all their support at such a difficult time because through it all its what we need the most over here. The thank you letters and care packages we get are all greatly appreciated. Words cant express how appreciative we are with all the support we get. It brings up our morale and allows us to keep going....especially when the goin gets tough. I met an Iraqi boy when I went on a tour at the ziggurat and noticed that his shoes were all torn to shreds and barely fitting him as they were about 5 times his size. I made it my top priority to go to the bx and order him a pair of shoes his size. The following day during my only day off I went out to where this boy is with his father selling merchandise to the tourists at the ziggurat and gave him the shoes. The smile on his face just made my day and even my deployment. Its the kind of thing that reminds me we can still do good and that little boy will hold that memory with him forever. I have a photo of him and me together I will send. Thank you again and let everyone know I am recovering fine. Take care and god bless.

He is an amazing man . . . one who will be changed after this deployment . . .

What a difference a year makes . . .

375 days ago we had a case conference to modify Dustin's school day. It was very traumatic and very stressful as we came to terms with Dustin's behaviors in school and the possibility that he could be kicked out for the remainder of the year and put on home-bound schooling. He was being labeld a threat to the staff and the other students. We accepted the modified day - a 2 hour a day schoolday - and he received a 1:1 paraprofessional. At that time we were not sure whether it would even work. We were heading off to vacation in sunny Florida shortly after this meeting.

Dustin's day was increased to 3 hours daily in the fall. He has been doing fabulous and has moved from a room with im and the aide back into the classroom. While she stills has to direct his behavior and his work he is remaining in the classroom with the other moderatel handicapped students. He is not perfect by any means, but MAJOR progress has been made at school. He has even been able to go on several outings that the children go on for their community skills program. He is still extremely defiant, yet they are increasing their expectations and he has mastered many of his objectives and goals set forth in his IEP. That has NEVER happened.

Today we had a case conference that was quite different. We increased his day yet again - this time to 4 hours - and were promised an additional increase next fall if this goes well to 5 hours daily. That would nearly be an entire day for him. We have also been granted paraprofessional hours for this time increase, so he will still have a 1:1 assistant. It was quite miraculous as I sat in that office thinking, wow, one year ago we were at the bottom, and today there IS light at the top of the well. . .

This weekend we head off to another spring break vacation . . . with much better hope . . .

Impulsivity . . .

Usually when I talk about impulsivity, I am talking about Dustin. Today I was the impulsive one. I was sitting on the couch on the laptop, and I looked over at the stairs. We have the grossest carpet on the steps. We replaced it when we moved in in 2000. I was super inexpensive and had this crappy foam backing. It has not held up well. I decided I had enough. I got up and proceeded to rip it off the steps.

I always have paint around the house because I have this thing about buying mistint gallons of paint. If it is a semi-decent color, I will buy it and put it back. With having a duplex, it always pays to have paint around. I ripped up the carpet, pulled up about 3000 staples, and scraped the decrepit foam off the stairs. I painted the stairway walls and laid new carpet. We moved and reorganized our CD cabinet and made one fabulous mess.

After I cleaned up our disaster, and swept the floors (with my wonderful new family addition), I had a wonderful new stairway. It was rewarding. I went from having a crappy, nasty embarrassing hall to a nice one in about 4 hours. Yay!

It is however well after 2:00 am and tomorrow my kids will be up with bells on wanting their Easter stash. . . I'm heading up my new steps to bed . . .

Do you like puppets? . . .

Well, it happened. I had to call the police on Dustin Saturday night. He has taken to running away from the house. It has happened about five or six times since October. The two worst times were with Robert. The times it has happened with me were minor and he came home after a few threats from me that I would have to call the police if he continued to run. I would love to let him run and not chase him at all, but I'm afraid and fairly certain that he would not choose to come back or run a couple blocks and get lost.

So Saturday night about 11:00 I am standing on the corner of our street in slippers asking, begging Dustin to come back to me. He kept running. If I dared make a move in his direction, he ran farther. I had my cell phone and called 911. The dispatcher was less than helpful. I told him where I was and what was happening and he said, "What do you expect the police to do." I informed him that I had a conversation with 2 different officers since this behavior began and both told me to call 911 and both chastised me for not calling prior times. I also told him that he is a 4 year old in a 13 year old body, so technically he should not be considered a runaway but a lost child and the fact he is mentally ill. He said, "Ma'am if you can see him how is he lost? Again, what do you expect us to do about this?" I answered, "Make sure my child is returned home safely." And he said something to the affect that that is not law enforcements job. I began crying and thanked him for his help and proceeded to hang up when he said, "Ma'am don't over react, take a deep breath, I never said I wouldn't help you". Just then a police officer pulled onto our block. He had notified officers all along. Why then did this dispatcher choose to hassle me?

When Dustin saw the car, he ran back to me immediately. He started crying and saying "Don't take me to kid jail." The officers were nothing but kind. They listened to me and chastised Dustin for running. They reiterated that we cannot keep him safe if he runs from the house. Then they gave him a puppet. Great. I know they were trying, but you just rewarded my son for running away. Sometimes it doesn't pay to play the "he's really a 4 year old" card. I sobbed and thanked the officers. I apologized for having to call. They both said that I did the right thing.

Why then did I feel so badly? We are going to be "that family" I just know it. . .

Has it sprung? . . .

Today we made our first trip to Lakeside Park of 2008. The kids were thrilled and Cayenne (the dog) nearly had a coronary wanting to run and play with every puppy around. They had a great time and are nice and tired. You will notice there are no pictures of Dustin because he wouldn't be still enough to take a picture, he found a 7 year old little bossy girl to play with. Her dad happened to be a special ed administrator at a local school system. It was nice to have someone understand that my big, lanky 13 year old want to play "babies" with his 7 year old little girl. He and Robert talked for some time. It was an all-around fun day! Yay spring. . . I hope. . .

Blessings . . .

My mom and stepdad are traveling to Florida. They left Fort Wayne yesterday morning. While they were traveling though Atlanta the weather got ominous and shortly after that a ton of emergency vehicles were barreling down I75. They happened to be going through Atlanta just as the tornado hit. Thank goodness they were okay. In fact, they were totally unaware until later when they heard the news today.

Another trip to the doctor . . .

Last night when I got back home I realized not only had McCartney not gotten any better, but she was really worse. The sinus infections has traveled to her lungs and now she has a horrific cough. That coupled with her asthma makes her sound terrible. We returned to the doctor this morning and found that she has RSV. Great. She was laying on the doctor's table, wrapped in a blankt when he came inot our room. She said, "Dr. D, you didn't make me better!" Poor baby.

So we are now armed with more medication, oral steroids, breathing treatments etc. Thankfully she does her nebulizer pretty well. I hope she makes a turn for the better soon. Daddy sure does not a break. . .

Yay for me . . .

Tonight I went to a parenting class for pregnant girls at risk and for new parents at risk at a local crisis pregnancy center called "A Hope Center". This place is a Christian based organization that strives to give at risk girls the skills and the support to choose to keep their child. I did a presentation about Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders there last year at it was a disaster. A girl flipped out because I said something she found offensive. She started hollering at me and calling me ignorant. I cried. I am a comfortable public speaker and crying is not like me. She really upset me. I said I would never, ever do it again.

They have called several time since to schedule me. I have always said no. Last month I was sleeping on the couch and I got a phone call, I said yes because I was half asleep. Crap! I have not been looking forward to it at all. Tonight went great! I was so pleased with my presentation (thanks Kari) and I think they enjoyed it and learned a lot. I think I said "There is no safe amount of alcohol to drink during pregnancy" about 350 times. Only to be rivaled by "My child's brain damage was 100% preventable" which I said roughly 375 times. I will definitely do it again. I am determined to get the word out to women of child bearing age that it is NOT safe to drink while pregnant. Your child should be worth your abstinence from alcohol!

Before I left tonight, Dustin asked where I was going. Robert said, "Mom's going to talk to pregnant women." Dustin had no idea what I was going to talk about and he said, "Tell them NOT to drink alcohol, it made me foolish." It sent me out teary and determined to touch SOMEONE tonight that may choose not to take that drink with their child in the womb.

Worry wart . . .

Something new to worry about. Remember when McCartney was having issues with her legs hurting all the time. I took her to the doctor because she has Spina Biffida Occulta and I wanted to be sure she was fine. The pediatrician did some testing and sent us to the neurologist for a new MRI. Well, I called the peds office about the testing and the nurse said ti was fine. Today I took her to the docs for her illness over the weekend and it turns out the tests weren't fine at all.

McCarntey has an wonky ASO titer. Meaning she has elevated strep in her body. That is an issue that my mom and I both have and we get really nasty things associated with strep. When I was young I actually went into the early stages of kidney failure due to a strep infection. We both have had struggles with erythema nedosa and my mom has been told she will never completely rid her body of strep. Dr. Dillon is pretty concerned about this and thinks McCartney may have some post-streptococcal reactive arthritis. So, more blood work and something else for me to worry about . . .

Icky, sicky . . .

My baby girl is miserable. This is the child who was running round playing an hour after her tonsils were removed. The child who had numerous ear infections, so many that she had some hearing loss, yet we never knew because she never acted sick. She is laying around and sleeping like crazy (well, sleeping during the day, keeping me up at night)


She is taking tylenol and motrin to keep her raging fever at bay. She is also taking sudaphed to keep her nose from acting like a faucet (one with the nastiest, stickiest, green snot I have ever seen) and eye drops because she also has a terrible case of conjunctivitis. Nice.

Harrison has a small tinge of it, and is currently running a light fever and has goopy eyes as well. He is however running around like a maniac so I think he feels better than she does. He is usually the couch potato when he is sick.

Harrison gave me a very good laugh this morning when he came from downstairs with a pair of his jammies on that are too small. They are like those footie zip-up jammies, but don't have feet. He has grown so much over the past few months that the jammies legs are just below his knees. He looks utterly ridiculous. I laughed til I nearly fell over in the kitchen. He has always been really stubby so it is nice to see him sprouting up.

I'm off to wipe noses and hold children down for their eye drops . . .fun times . . .

My boy is growing up . . .

My kindergaren had his first big-boy birthday party yesterday. He went home with a boy from his class and went to a party WITHOUT me! I can't believe it. He was my baby just yesterday I swear.

Last night McCartney crawled in bedand snuggled up against me. She was burning up! She had a fever of 103.8. Zoinks. She kept complaining that her head hurt and no matter how I held her she cried about her back hurting. It worried me. I am not the crazy ER mom, but last night I was close. Finally the Tylenol kicked in, her fever subsided and she slept. This morning her fever is going back up and Harrison just came over to me on the couch and now he feels warm. I'm off to fetch the thermometer . . . send good thoughts our way. . .

My own version of crazy . . .

I am weird. Plain and simple. We have this little bureau in the foyer. Whenever I would tel the kids to go put something on this bureau they had no idea what I was talking about. So I named it. I call it Chester. Now when I say, "Go put it on Chester so we can take it to school" , they know what I mean. No explanations needed.

I decided I am going to name my newly acquired best-friend. . . uh, I mean vacuum. Any suggestions . . .

I thought about Mike, since it is a Dyson.

Maybe George because he "sucks".

Anyone? . . .

Woo-freakin-hoo . . .

I am a crazy vacuumer. I vacuum about 3-5 times a day. Partially because we have animals, partially because of the birds, partially because we have wood floors and rugs, but mostly because I'm OCD. Yesterday I bought a Dyson.

Is it wrong that I love my vacuum more than my husband?

Just kidding! I love you Robert, but I love my vacuum too!

Crappity, crap, crap, crap-o . . .

I hate snow! I'm sick of this crappin' snow. Last week's snow just melted and now I have 6-8 inches of snow in my yard. ARRRGGGGGHHHH!

You gotta have humor to get through . . .

The tide is . . .

. . . . turning? I hope so. Dustin had a super day at school yesterday and another decent one today. Not great, but we'll take what we get! Last night I was knee deep in a project and he was incredibly helpful. He loves to help around the house. He is the best gopher when I'm in the midst of something and it is really helpful. I hope this means he is returning to the kinda-rotten boy we know and love, not the one you'd like to strangle. . . Thanks for all your kind words on my whiney posts lately. You all are much appreciated.

I am looking forward to the primary results tonight. I sincerely hope that tonight will go well for Senator Obama and Senator Clinton will drop out. It sound to me like Bill may see that one coming. . . I am crossing my fingers and toes. I'm ready to get inot the meat of this election and see Obama and McCain begin focusing on the future, and one another.

I got a haircut and color today. It's it great when you walk out of the salon loving your hair! I love having a wonderful stylist who I trust completely. I always sit down and say, "Do what you want." and poof . . . I have a great cut! And at a super resonable price. Nice.

Ever since I started this post I've been singing this . . .

Sad . . .

I am incredibly off right now. Dustin has had an extremely difficult week and ended it with torture this weekend. He has been AWFUL. I'm not sure that many of you understand what awful can be . . . but I'm telling you it is not been fun. The little ones are on edge and grumpy because all of our attention and energy is wrapped up in keeping Dustin respectful and safe. Robert and I are snapping at one another because we are at our limit. The dog is even moping around. I have no one to turn to. I need a break. I just want to give up. . .

Another week will begin tomorrow and I will try to get through it without near as much turmoil. I am hoping that Dustin is struggling because he needs sunlight (the weather still sucks here) or becuase he needs some better sleep, or because he has a slight cold. I am not yet putting any stock in the thought that we may be dealing with medication issues. We have been on the same medications for a year an they have been wonderful. I CANNOT deal with the possibility that they may need changed right now. If I have to deal with that the way I feel this afternoon I may lose it. I'm not sure I can handle much more.

He takes so much energy. He takes a constant level of vigilance. I have to be "on" all the time. What I would really like is to climb under the covers, bury my head in a pillow and cry until about next Thursday. But I will stuff it down and pretend I am "good" for the kids. I will stuff it down and be a good wife. I will probably self-medicate and take extra Zoloft for a couple days. I don't have time or the luxury to lose it . . . it sucks being the mommy.

More art . . .

Harrison used to hate to do any kind of art. He didn't like to color or do anything like that. In kindergarten they began doing journaling and drawing pictures that go with their journal. They started talking about adding detail to their pictures and I began to see a little difference in his pictures. Since he started his medication (Focalin XR) we have seen FABULOUS results in his behavior, attention span and focus. It has actually helped his eating since he can focus long enough to focus on his food. I am so pleased he is doing well! He's like a new child experiencing things comfortably. I love it.

The one thing I have noticed immediately is his love for art. He draws and colors all the time. I love that his personality is becoming more balanced. Here is his latest drawing . . .

He calls this one Freddy the Flying Fish

Alone . . .

Kari blogged today about her fortune to be surrounded by people who understand her family and their children with FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome). I was struck by the overwhelming aloneness I feel about living this life with Dustin.

One of the main reasons I started blogging was Robert nagged me. I really didn't think I had anything to say that people would want to read (and still not so sure I do), but the reason I continued was Kari. She found me one day and left me a message that we are not alone in this struggle with FAS. Through that post I found many other blogs of families like mine. IT held my attention. It furthered discussion of our own issues. It helps in a way nothing else has. It is my best therapy.

All that being said, we are wickedly alone. We have no Personal Care Attendants like they do in Minnesota and other states. We have no other families around us that we can talk with, fret with and help to support. We have no babysitter for Dustin other than my mother. No one else can deal with him. While Kari so fortunately "has people", we do not.

I say all this not to have a bunch of comments of sympathy. I say this to say that even though I feel alone becasue of FAS, I am certain others feel alone with children of differing disabilities. Reach out to someone. Email them. Comment on their blog. Give a mother an understanding look when she is fighting her kids in the grocery store. Let them know you understand, laugh with them.

Most importantly, look at them differently. It is so easy to assume the parents are at fault for a child who is behaving badly. . . give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they are on their last shred of patience. Maybe they want to chuck it all. Maybe they go home and cry because they are alone in their child's disability.

I know I do sometimes. . .

Fetal Alcohol at it's finest . . .

Yesterday the kids did not have school. I was not feeling well so I stayed home. Last week Dustin missed one day of school because he wasn't feeling well. I suppose that's not exactly true. Dustin has virtually no pain receptors or malfunctioning ones at best. He doesn't really "know" when he isn't feeling well. We typically don't know he is sick until he is hacking and coughing to sniffling or fevering. Then, he "knows" he is sick because we say, "You sound horrible." That is when the outward "faking" begins. He "knows" he is supposed to feel bad, but he really doesn't so he acts sick. Last week was one of those hacking and coughing times and he stayed home one day and begged to return to school the next. He's been sounding well ever since. However, I'm not so sure he is "feeling" well or better stated, I'm not sure sure his body is back to 100% whether he "knows" it or not.

He's been really "off" for a few days. This weekend was lots of whining and grumpiness. yesterday was AWFUL. His routine was messed up because of the school cancellation and he kept saying the "school people are bad for not letting him go to school". So he was angry about that and just about everything else. At one point in the afternoon I asked him to leave his sister alone. He stormed upstairs. I told him if he was going to storm away while I was talking to him, he could simply stay in his room for a while. He did and he came back down a little later with a much better attitude. . . briefly.

The remainder of the evening was much of the same. I could not get warm for the life of me. I kept getting chilled and I thought I was feeling a breeze coming down the steps. I sent Dustin upstairs to make sure all the windows are shut (we sometimes open the bathroom window because the upstairs get incredibly hot) He said they were all shut. I chalked it up to not feeling well.

When Robert went upstairs to put the kids to bed, we found a mess. Dustin had broken his window while he was mad at me earlier! There was however, very little glass on the floor of his room, I figured it had went outside onto the roof. I went upstairs to clean up and secure the window for the night and I discovered that he had removed most of the glass and HIDDEN it in his closet. He actually thought I wouldn't know he broke the window if he hid the pieces of glass! That is a brain that has missed object permanence. That is a brain that is affected be prenatal exposure to alcohol. That is my life.

Later in the evening Dustin and I were talking about how he should've told me because it was cold in the house. These were his exact words, "Maybe I should make a fire in my room tonight to keep warm." YIKES! Now, in all likelihood he is talking in imaginary terms and is being silly in the way a 4 year old would be. But, knowing that his brain is damaged from prenatal alcohol exposure coupled with the fact that he is definitely "off-kilter" lately, I ain't taking no chances! The boy slept on the floor next to my bed last night. There is NO WAY he is going to be unsupervised at all for a even little while.

I hate that I have to "fear" my son of more precisely, the choices he may make. I hate that he is so "damaged" by the simple fact that his bio-mother was selfish and drank while he was growing within her. I hate that I can't trust him to be unsupervised. And, I hate that I have to pay for a new pane of glass. I hate Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. . . but I love my boy.

Too cute . . .

Enchanted is too cute! In this scene Pip (the chipmunk) is trying to tell the prince that his advisor is trying to kill Giselle (the princess-to-be) by giving her a poison apple that the prince's mother gave him. Hysterical!

H-E-A-V- Y . . .

A really HEAVY snow fell last night and continues this morning. The flakes were incredibly large and looked like they belonged on a movie set. I am the person who shovels while the snow if falling so that it is more manageable. Last night I went out 4 or 5 times to shovel as the snow was falling. I was so happy that I was able to do that because this snowfall was so heavy that by the time this morning rolled around it would've weighed a ton! I shoveled at 1:00 in the morning and I still had about 4 inches to shovel when I woke up. The kids are home from school and I am not feeling real well, in fact I think someone set a flu-bomb in our house. The kids have a croopy cough and are grumpy and irritable. I feel like crap. We are gonna lay around and enjoy a day off. Except for another shoveling in a couple hours. . .

A glimpse . . .

Mr. Henry sent me some pictures from Iraq . . .




Keep him and all our troops in your thoughts . . . and oppose this horrid war.

Bowling Fever . . .

We took the kids bowling last night because Harrison had his BEST WEEK EVER at Kindergarten. They had a blast! Watch how slow McCartney's ball is. It took FOREVER for her ball to get down the lane. . .

The stark differences . . .

As of yesterday, I am the proud owner of a teenage son. I have always noticed the huge differences in his interests since the first day we brought him home, but it gets even more noticeable the older he gets. I have a 13 year old who wanted to visit Build-a-bear more than just about anything else for his birthday. So grandma came and picked him up Saturday to take him to build himself a stuffed animal. The Cheetah he made hasn't left his side since, and he has began to treat it like it is alive. He has always given inanimate objects "life", but it has become worse as of late. He adores it, and I hate to threaten to take it away, but it is so very unhealthy for him to become obsessed with something in that way with all of his schizophrenic tendancies. We actually had to limit the time he can spend with the Cheetah (and by the way, thanks grandma for the karate outfit for the Cheetah, now Dustin is the "karate master" chopping everything in site)

He has few reading skills. He cannot ride a bike. He enjoys everything from Blues Clues to Star Wars. He is not allowed to touch our animals since he tends to hurt them. He must have an alarm on his bedroom door so that we know when he is out and must be supervised. He cannot do much of anything without supervision. He is not your "average" 13 year old.

He actually had Lilo and Stitch birthday cake. Try to sell that one to your "average" 13 year old. But, he was happy and that's what mattered. I am finished trying to make him into a different child than he is. Last night at Meijer he asked me if he could still like kid shows. He was so relieved when I told him it didn't matter how old he was, he could choose to watch what made him happy, that mom and dad okays. (Exception to Power Rangers etc. that make him karate chop everything in site, and the one time I caught him watching Real Sex on HBO-which was the last night he ever had cable in his room)

Right now Dustin is probably about a 5 year old trapped in the body of a 13 year old. He still has the teenage outbursts of anger including name hollering and lots of storming away from his parents, but he is developmentally a 5 year old. I love my klutsy, lanky, baby-fit throwing 13 year old. He is truly a soft-hearted and friendly little guy who is much happier now than he was 7 years ago when he walked into our home. We make mistakes, we say things we shouldn't and we let anger ruin teachable moments sometimes. We laugh when we really shouldn't and we cry when we should be holding it together. But, we love him whole-heartedly. We chose him and he is ours! For better or for worse.

Another drawing . . .

Harrison calls this one . . . No More War

How do I love thee . . .

Since I forgot to post about my dear, sweet husband on his birthday recently, I decided I would do a Valentine's Day Post, even though we don't typically celebrate this very commercial holiday. Tonight in celebration, I am taking the kids to a skating party and he is staying home with Dustin . . . exciting huh?

So, here's 37 things I love about Robert . . .

1. His creativity.
2. He does most of the dishes in our house. (I am really bad at it)
3. The way he interacts with Dustin.
4. The way he wakes the kids up in the morning ( with humor and lots of love)
5. His gray, long hippie hair.
6. His passion for peace.
7. His liberal perspective.
8. His humor.
9. His singing voice.
10. His photoshop skills.
11. The way he can explain something to me so I can understand it. (and the kids too)
12. His willingness to explain things to me.
13. He loves to share his knowledge AND his opinion.
14. All the trivial information that is in his head.
15. His love for the Beatles.
16. His love for the kids.
17. His love for me.
18. His grandma's chicken and dumplings recipe.
19. The way he makes me try new foods. (mmmmm, sushi)
20. His love for reading.
21. His thirst for knowledge.
22. The way he immerses himself in a project.
23. His determination.
24. His values.
25. His love of music.
26. His addiction to Lay's Classic Potato chips and popcorn
27. He will eat my cooking.
28. He chose to be a stay-at-home daddy.
29. He cleans my house.
30. He humors me when I order him around.
31. He listens to me (most of the time).
32. He deals with my OCD.
33. He deals with my indecisiveness.
34. He cares about people.
35. He cares about animals.
36. The way he loves his cat (much ot his own dismay)
37. He chose me.

I would like to thank the director . . .

My first oscar . . . I mean award.

Angie has bestowed upon me the Chaste Kiss Award for visiting and posting and being an blog-o-friend. Thanks dear! I would like to pass it along to Kari (a fellow adoptive mom with kids just like Dustin, without whom this journey would be far more difficult) , Patty (taking a little leave, and I miss her), and Jessica Rabbit (my once rival whom now I understand and respect).

Kiss, Kiss ladies!

Conversations . . .

Me: Harrison, have you met your new principal yet?
Harrison: Yep
Me: Is his name Mr. Shaeffer?
Harrison: It's DOCTOR Shaeffer.
Me: Oh yes! I forgot.
Harrison: And he is BALD.
Me: Oh, I see.
Harrison: That means he doesn't have hair. Well, he does have arm-hair. His head is just bald.

The tide has turned . . .

I am still sitting in my bed with the laptop waiting very patiently til Harrison goes to sleep. He continues to attempt to engage me in conversation. I am really good at ignoring.


The following exchange just happened . . .

Harrison: I'm really really really hungry and thirsty.
Me: (silence)
Harrison: For real. Do you hear me?
Me: It's time for sleeping. Please close your eyes.
Harrison: But I'm really really REALLY thirsty.
ME: (silence)
Harrison: (after about 2 minutes) I hate you.
Me: ( giggling like a horrible mother)
Harrison: I really really REALLY do hate you.
Harrison: And STOP laughing. (throwing a pillow at me trying not laugh himself)

about 3 minutes pass . . . while I attempt not to keep giggling.

Harrison: (in the tiniest little voice) I really do. I mean I hate you.

Apparently he no longer wishes to have my company. Maybe daddy can get him to sleep.

I give up . . .

I surrendered tonight and laid with the kids while they tried to go to sleep. McCartney was out pretty quickly, after hollering at me for breathing too loudly, but Harrison was more difficult tonight. Finally, I took him to my bed because I couldn't lay in the top bunk with him, and he snuggled up close to me and said this:

Mommy, wouldn't it be funny if dogs had feathers? And Parrots had fur.
What if lizards had pig tails and dresses and little girls had scales.
How about if rhinos had mustaches and daddies had horns.
That would be funny wouldn't it?

Is that so cute? I love it. But man I wish they would go to bed by themselves before they turn 20 and I'm still sitting with them . . . .

Tidbits . . .

1. OBSERVATION: There's nothing like a scheduled day off with the hubby out of town to make one want to CLEAN the house. I love it!

2. CUTENESS: McCartney asked this question, "Mommy, when it stops snowing, can we buy a car without a lid?"

3. REALIZATION: I have decided once and for all that Starbucks on an empty stomach hurts my belly like nobody's business.

4. INFORMATION: NEVER make Rice Krispie Treats with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

Stressed out . . .

We are all really stressed out here at work today. I posted yesterday about Mr. Henry having to make his trip to Iraq today. I blogged about him many months ago when he enlisted in the air guard. At that time he as PROMISED that he would not have to go overseas. I told him and told him again that we all knew that wasn't the truth. But they PROMISED. It makes me sick to my stomach. It's one thing to make a decision to serve in the military when you know what you are getting into, it's another thing altogether to be lied to.

I am proud that he is serving his country. I am proud that he is doing his part in going to Iraq. I am sick that he was lied to in order to get him to enlist. Yesterday when he came into work to say good-bye, one of the boys said, "Mr. Henry, I didn't know you were a soldier!" My first thought was, "No he's not. He's a boy who needed money for school and got suckered into enlisting for the bonus." It makes me ill.

I watched my son sleeping last night and thought about Henry's mom sending him off to war. My thoughts and prayers all with all those famlies today who are missing their sons and daughters in Iraq. This stupid, illegal war has taken their babies and it's my hope they return unharmed. And for all those who don't get their baby returned safely, know that while I HATE this war, I support your babies who are doing their job and serving their country.

Crapppp - py . . . .

I got a call from Roebrt yesterady afternoon that our power went out. I called AEP and they said the estimated time for fixing it was 4:30pm. Woohooo. Robert called me back at 5:00 and it wasn't back on. I called again and it had been changed to 5:00am. Crap! The only thing I thought about was all the food in my fridge and my chest freezer. Zoinks! Luckily the church has a generator and we powered all the essentials . . . fridge, freezer, cable and computer. Essentials.

The kids and I went to stay at Nannies since it would be getting cold, and the generator was incredibly loud. The kids got to bed late and I slept on a very uncomfortable couch, but we were warm!

The power is back up and running this morning! Yeah!

I'm an idiot . . .

Yesterday I was vaccuuming out my car and I locked myself out. Thankfully I am always hot in the car aand I had left the passenger window down about 3 inches. A car full of kids drove up and a skinny tall guy got out. I said, "Hey! Would you mind sticking your skinny arm in my car and unlocking it?" It worked. Yeah me!

Godspeed . . .

Our dear friend, Mr. Henry will be leaving tomorrow for Iraq. He will be stationed in Tallil Air Force base. We wish him the best and hope to see him home real soon! I think he is going to try to set up a blog from Iraq, so I will let you all know when that happens.

Shrunken days . . .

Lately I feel like my days have shrunken to about 12 hours, of which I sleep about 7 hours away. I feel all frustrated and hurried. The house is a pit (hint,hint honey) and I am crazy! Work is NUTS right now as we are short staffed. Yesterday I was in just about every age group at one point or another. When I'm not running all over creation at work, I must find time to renew a bunch of people's CPR certifications AND begin working on our Week of the Young Child presentation. Agh! I must stop listing or I will go nuts!

I have recently discovered a blog by an adoptive mother that goes to my church. She is amazing and quite funny! Go on over and check out Kimberely's blog . . . you will laugh I promise. Her 100th post is hysterical! She and her husband just adopted the cutest little girl from Ethiopia. Go on over and say hello!

Amazing . . .

I have posted tons of video and photos lately. . . but this one HAD to be posted.

New spectacles . . .

Pay no attention to the eyebrows in need of plucking . . .

Our Saturday . . .

I took "the littles" to the Botanical Conservatory for Seuss on the Loose. It was really fun! The company that we bought our playground stuff at daycare from donated all the equipment for the playcenter to a local elementary school after the botanical gardens is done with it. Their stuff is SUPER cool and fits so well with the Suess theme. Harrison LOVED the giant cactus and McCartney just kept saying she was tired and sweaty. But, they had a blast. I posted a bunch more pics from our day over at our family site if ou care to take a gander.