A lost friend. . .

Today I found an old friend. The friend? Black Pine Animal Park in Albion, Indiana. I found Black Pine years ago and visited frequently. At the time it was located in the backyard of Karen and Brad Bonar. The animal sanctuary started as Brad and Karen began to take in animals that people thought they could keep as pets. Animals such as mountain lions, bobcats, snow leopards, caracals, and rhesus-macaque monkeys. The park grew as Barnum and Bailey Circus began contacting the Bonar's about taking in retiring circus animals. They adopted the tigers who originally did that stunt with the spinning round cages. They have Mr. Bear and Isaac who are retired black bear performers. They have Johnny a camel who is and retired performers. My favorite is Tarzan and Coby who are adult chimps. They have been in commercials and music videos.

The park has grown over the years of my absence. The tiger population has grown as they recently adopted 3 part Siberian tigers who were rescued from horrid conditions. They have also acquired some leopards, including a black one. There are also losses. Cesar a retired performing tiger, and the father to Cita and Jai, was buried at the former location. Pinky, one of Karen's Cougars, also passed. Recently they also lost Shengi, a female African lion. Today, Nala, still seemed to be in mourning, and the keepers said she is definitely missing her companion. Lucky, a dwarf bull was another favorite from the "old days" who is no longer with us.


The "petting" portion of the park includes many field animals including Emus, Llamas, Rheas, Ostrich, Sicilian donkeys, a mini-dwarf pony named Minnie, Pygmy goats, Welsh mountain sheep, and a pot bellied pig. The Llama's are so very sweet and the donkey's are beautiful. The kids loved feeding them today. If you make the trip to Albion, you can bring your own bread and feed the field animals. Watch out for Ginger, the ostrich, she;s a handful!

The best thing about Black Pine for families is how close you can get to the animals. I can remember about 6 years ago I was teaching Pre-K and I took all 4 classes. It was the summer that Cita and Jai, some tiger cubs, were born and they were very small. Karen let us pet the cubs and allowed the kids to play with them in the field. She used to also get the camels out and we could feed them "cookies". Today, the park is probably a little more stringent with there "no touch" policy than they used to be in Karen's backyard. But it is still well worth the trip. They relocated last December and are still in the process of building permanent outdoor habitats for all the animals. So, pardon their dust. Invest some time and some money at a local sanctuary, you will be amazed how cool it is!

Parenting hard kids is hard . . .

Parenting in general is difficult. I have to say that working in a daycare for 13 years before I had children, I thought I had it all figured out. I couldn't fathom how parents could be constantly running late for work. How could they forget show and share day? How could they forget it was a party day and come in late? Why did they carry the 4 year old down the hall? Etc. I knew that I would be a great parent and have it all figured out when I had my own because I had oh so much experience at daycare. WRONG.

I forget stuff for projects, I would rather carry the kid than drag him. I am always running late. I take back everything I ever said about any parent. Parenting is hard. You're "on" 24/7. I am by no means making light of "normal" parenting, but parenting "hard" kids is much harder. My children are difficult. I know that all kids have their very own issues. But, throw a children who has brain damage due to pre-natal alcohol exposure into the mix and you have a recipe for DIFFICULTY.

My children are better for having Dustin in their lives in many ways. They are much more tolerant of behaviors of their peers and they are probably far more compassionate than they could've been. They are also much more independent due to the many "melt-downs" and extra attention that Dustin requires. They have other issues that go along with that. They are incessantly annoying, probably because they have to fight for attention some of the time. McCartney is terribly strong willed and stubborn. She knows how to push buttons and then works it for all it is worth. She is in some ways more trying than Dustin. I will never know if this is a product of nature or our environment.

Parenting kids such as these is difficult. Not only does it do a toll on you as a person and a parent, but also on your marriage. It is a huge responsibility as a parent to take these issues and make them a part of your daily routine. It makes you grumpy and irritable. It makes you much more likely to snap at your spouse. They are the one person who is your ally in all of this, and the one you take it out on the most. It's unfortunate.

Like any marriage, Robert and I have different ways of dealing with the stress. Neither of us can understand the scope of what our words and actions have on one another. Robert retreats into a project and I keep on advancing. Mars and Venus. I push and push, like the stereotypical woman, and irritate and irritate. He is a true trooper. I can't imagine the stress that he has on him dealing with Dustin 24 hours a day. I have a break when I go to work, he doesn't. I couldn't do what he does. I suppose that is the mark of a truly great relationship, he is weak where I am strong and vice versa. Unfortunately right now I don't feel so strong.

We came to the realization last winter when we were dealing with so much difficulty with Dustin that only one parent can check out at a time. It's tough when there is a constant stressor in the home, especially one you love so dearly. One you wish you could fix and can't. I love my husband with all my heart and thank him for walking this journey with me. . . even with all my faults.

Wedding . . .

I went to a crazy kind of wedding today. McCartney and I hitched a ride up north with my mom and step-dad. The groom was Amish. Apparently they aren't too strict Amish because he has definitely turned "English" and the family hasn't shunned him. I have never seen so many Amish in one place in my life. It was beautiful and a wonderful girl and friend of the family is now a Mrs.

They grow up so fast . . .

Yesterday I got kindergarten shots for Harrison. I can hardly believe that he will go to school in the fall. I never thought he would grow so big so fast. About 4 months ago, when he was still 4, he brought me a book and began reading. I mean reading. For about a year and a half he has been sounding out letters and putting together blends. He knows about silent e and how it makes the vowel long. He can tell you about rhyming words and opposites. He even knows what punctuation is. He has been reading random words for a while, but he brought me book and READ it. I was amazed!

I have had an issue with the daycare moving farther from my home. Due to that fact, our neighborhood school does not transport to the daycare. I finally was able to opt him into a school in that area and we are all set. It has been a huge stressor and now it is all done. I am so thankful that I got him into a school closer to the daycare and transportation will be taken care of. But, the fact remains, my baby boy is going to school. . .

Titanic Fun . . .

Boat loads of fun . . . a yet, a little morbid. . .

Today at the daycare we rented a large Titanic Slide. It was so fun! The kids loved every minute of it. It still is a little creepy to be sliding down the sinking deck of the Titanic though. Kinda disrespectful to those who loss their lives on the ship, but tons of fun!

Here's a pic of McCartney on the slide. . . more to come later.

My mom's new toy . . .

My mom is the best Nanny in the world. Check out what she and PaPa bought for the grandkids. . .


McCartney goes up . . .


Harrison goes for a ride . . .


McCartney's nice form . . .


Dustin says, "Whoa!" . . .

My adventure with the ignorant . . .

We decided to take the kids to the Pizza Hut buffet tonight. Dustin loves it. The little ones can graze all they want. I however, had a run-in with a drunk. . . at least I hope he was.

I'm accompanying Dustin to the buffet and I asked him not to grab a plate. The stacks were all hot and I knew he would immediately drop it on the floor or start hollering. He went to grab a plate anyway and I said, "Dustin, I asked you not to touch those." A man across the buffet says quite loudly, "Damn lady! Let the kid get his own plate. I taught my kid how to do it when he was little. Damn!" I was shocked and responded with, "Sir, my son is special needs." He grumbled and moaned at me the entire time we were getting Dustin's food. As we walked back to our table I was still a little shaken. We sit, I look over and he is sitting on table over and one back.

Dustin was pretty well behaved and the little ones were darn good. It was actually a nice time. Towards the end of the meal, the man tries to get my attention and I pretend not to see him. He stands up, grabs something off the table and comes over to our table. He extends his hand and shakes me hand apologizing for what he said. I told him it was fine and that I understood that Dustin's disability is hidden. He proceeds to throw money at me. I told him he was being ridiculous and he very loudly begged me to take it to show me that he was "Sorry deep down in his heart". The entire time he is getting louder and louder and continued to lean over the table, beating on his chest over his heart. I'm thinking, "Oh mercy! Robert get back here now!" He finally leaves. Not without getting into a little screaming patch with his wife saying, "I can't leave the tip, I just gave that lady my last 4 dollars. Damn woman."

After all this, Dustin is like, "Mom give me my money. It's mine. He gave it to you because I'm special needs!" I could've climbed under the table. I'm totally embarrassed. I want to leave. Robert comes back and has no clue what has just passed. Finally when we leave it says, honey you are leaving money on the table. Usually we just put the tip on the debit card with the bill. Dustin once again starts hollering, "It's mine because I'm special needs." For crying out loud.

Last Friday night the kid across the street was home with some friends. He is about 12 or 13 and lives with his sister and her boyfriend. He starts yelling out the window at us playing in the front yard. He is calling Dustin a "retard". Dustin was instantly upset and began crying which made the kid holler other ugly and hateful things. I lost it. I was so angry. I threatened to haul my "fat ass" as he called it, up those stairs and he could call me names to my face. He stopped. Funny part is, he rides the "short bus" to another school.

I hope this in not an indication of things we will have to deal with as the gap between Dustin's actual age and his developmental age grows farther and farther apart. I know it is, but I hate it for him.

Manic Monday . . .

After a fabulously lazy weekend I had a day off today. I decided to run a few errands since my crazy summer at work begins Thursday when the kids get out of school. A few errands turned into about 7 including a visit to the veterinarian for Max, the toy fox terrier mix. He's a pain. I swear he has little dog complex, similar to short man complex. Today, I think he lost half of his fur due to excessive shedding from being nervous. It looked like it was snowing in the office there was so much fur flying around. I had the doc get the vet tech because I refuse to hold down my own dog. He bit her and they had to muzzle him. Nice. I love feeling like a failure as a pet parent too. Although the best part is that now he is traumatized and he is nice a quiet tonight.

The other big thing I accomplished today was getting a money order cashed. No big deal you say? Well, my bird ate 4 of the routing numbers off the check. I took it to the bank and they said they couldn't cash it. So I took it back to the check cashing place that issued it to my renter. They couldn't cash it and gave me a claim form to fill out. It would take 65 days to get my money AND I had to have the receipt. I don't have the receipt and neither did my renter. I spent 40 minutes on hold with the company and they told me it could take 90 days if I did not have the receipt. Finally I got them to give me the routing number and with a little prodding of the bank, and talking to the "higher-ups" they said they would cash it. That could've been an expensive snack for the parrot. . .

By the way, thanks to AWB, or as I now call him Angry White Gramps. He offered AND delivered a full size basketball hoop to our house this weekend for my son. His son obviously discovered girls and cars as he grew older and abandoned the hoop. It was nice of him to think of us and offer it for Harrison. I knew you had a soft heart somewhere in there. *wink* By the way, my dog ran right over and peed on it, he must read your blog too. LOL

The year end IEP . . .

Individualized Educational Plans, for those of you with "gen-ed" kids, are the plans that the school must follow for children with disabilities. The IEP tells what the disabilities are, strengths and weaknesses, goals and treatment interventions, speech and occupational therapy goals, graduation track etc. Dustin's includes a BIP, behavioral intervention plan, and a FBA, functional behavioral analysis. Each of those need to be reviewed every 20 school days. IEP's need only reviewed every year or when changes need to made to add or remove programs, goals or interventions either at the request of the school or parent. In that case you must call a CCC, case conference committee, and call everyone needed together to make changes. They must prvide you with PS, procedural safegaurds, prior to the meeting. Today we rejected ESY, extended school year, to give Dustin a much needed break for the summer. I met today with Dustin TOR, teacher of record, his PP, paraprofessional, and the area SERT, special education resource teacher. In our case FAS, fetal alcohol syndrome, has become alphabet soup.

As I sat in the CCC today, I realized that I had no idea 6 years ago what I was in for I have learned so much about mental health issues, school policies and regulations and all the crazy abbreviations for everything. I have come along way and so has Dustin.

Today was Dustin's yearly review and for the first time in a long time I wasn't sick to my stomach with the prospect of a new IEP. The modified schedule that we have been on since April 9th has been a tremendous success! He is a totally different child at school. He is the child I told them that he could be. It was wonderful to hear all the positive comments and hear how he has progressed nicely since the schedule change. I thought however, it would only take about an hour and I was there nearly 3 hours. . . in a non-airconditioned, windowless room. Ugh! But everything is set for next year, and things are looking up. His two hours daily will be increased to 3 hours. The state rarely goes for modified schedules at the beginning of the school year, but the CCC thought that we had enough documentation to provide reasons why it should be allowed. He has, after all, been deemed a "danger" to others and the modified day has been so definitely positive I don't think they could deny it. He also has medical reasons as his chlozapine makes him sleep so well and so long that school prior to 10 am would be totally ineffective and difficult anyway.

I also found out today that his fabulous PP, paraprofessional, postponed a trip to Japan to take the job to work with Dustin. She enjoys him and keeps him well in line. I am so thankful for professionals that love what they do and have my child's best interest at heart. I had a tiny bit of an anxiety attack when I learned that another teacher in his 3 teacher group will be his TOR, teacher of record, next year. The teacher of record is responsible for all contact to the family and all paperwork needed for the Special Education Department and the homeroom teacher for the child. She is the primary person I deal with . . . sometimes daily. I panicked because we have been through so much this year, and formed a great relationship. I don't have anything against this other teacher, but I know Dustin would have a difficult time transitioning to her for his homeroom as well. At the end of the meeting the SERT, special education resource teacher, from the main department asked if his current teacher would consider keeping him and being his TOR next year. I followed that with, "Maybe you should've asked her when I left, maybe she is happy to be rid of Dustin and us as well." She said the nicest things, basically saying that we were the kind of parents she loved to work with and that she hoped she had never given us that feeling, and that she knows Dustin has potential. I can rest easily, she will be his TOR next year.

All in all a very positive day! Miracles never cease.

Freimann Family Thursday . . .

We went to the Freimann Family Thursday event last evening in Downtown. It was a fun time in the heat, and a bonus for us, we could walk and not use any gas! The crowds were not crazy and they had some fun things to do for the kids. The band The Yellowhammers were great, the singer sounded like across between Elvis Costello and my hubby. Here are some shots of the sweaty kids . . .


Having fun in the park . . .


Climbing the sculpture . . .


Busy being rotten . . .


Man, it was hot . . .


They actually look like they love each other . . .

Ouchy . . .

I have a wicked headache today. I woke up with it. Good morning, here have a horrible day. I hate that. I have been plagued with migraines since I was about 8 years old. I can remember going through brain scans, CT scans, tonislectomy, allergy testing and opthalmolgist appointments as a young child, trying to get to the bottom of the headaches. I recall having a bottle of Excedrin with my name on it in the principal's desk drawer that I would use almost daily. I would go down to the office, take 2 excedrin and lay in the nurse's office for an hour or so. It typically didn't go away and they would call my mom.

I struggled all through high school and college with headaches trying all different kinds of medications. Back then, the meds either made you terribly "high" or so tired you couldn't function. I hated them. One time I can rememebr trying a new medication from my doctor and "flipping out" at my best friend's house because I felt like my arms were no longer attached to my body. My friend "Toad" sat with me all night while I freaked out. (I never really did any drugs to speak of, so this was not a welcomed experience! They thought this was nice and funny and wanted to try one! LOL)

I lived with migraines. I had about 4-5 a week. Most of them included vomiting. I hated them, but learned to live with them. Three summers ago I returned to a doctor who I had to leave for insurance reasons. She asked about my headaches. I told her they were still bad. She put me on a blood pressure medication, even though my blood pressure is super, and they stopped. I mean stopped. I have only had about 10 migraines in the past 3 years. That is amazing! It has changed my life. In addition, the medication only costs me $2 a month . . . NICE. The only bad part is that now when I get a headache it's horrible because I am not used to them. That would be TODAY.

My children have also been plagued with migraines. When Harrison was about 17 months he began vomiting and saying his head had an "ouchy". Sometimes he said they were a "mommy ouchy" or a "daddy ouchy" this would tell us how severe they were. After talking to our pediatrician about it he sent us to a nerologist. He was on medication for about a year to help stop the headaches. Once I learned what his triggers were; bananas, yogurt, certain cheeses, and heat, we stopped the medication and he isdoing quite well. McCartney also became plagued with headaches about 19 months. She would vomit as well. Thankfully, her triggers are the same as Harrison's.

Oh my gawd . . . .

I just had a supervisor come into the office at work laughing hysterically. She had come around the corner and almost ran into a dad who was picking up his son at the daycare. The son was dawdling and the dad turned around and said in a hushed yet angried voice, "Will you hurry up I have to shit!" When he turned around, there was the supervisor.

Talk about being in the wrond place at the wrong time. That poor dad. He was probably mortified. The funny thing is that it was a pastor's wife who repeated it to me! I am still laughing!

Mothers Day . . .

I am perpetually late. I posted an Easter post late and I seem to remember that I posted a late Father's Day post last year. Today I decided after reading some regular reads that I have it good in the Mother Department.

I have a fabulous mother. She is a strong woman of God and a fabulous role-model for me and my daughter. We have not always seen eye-to-eye, but what mother and daughter combo has. When growing up I was far more like my father than my mother. I was actually probably much much more like my maternal grandmother than anyone else. My grandma was ornery, opinionated and could be abrasive. I have never had much tact and I always speak my mind. My mother and I were close yet, not in the best-friend sort of way. She was my mother, I respected her, and I revered her. I saw her go through tough times and lean on her faith for support. I saw her weather infidelity on my father's part and I didn't understand her forgiveness. I saw her stand by him when the cancer ate away at his body. I saw her stand strong when the Lord finally took him home providing my brother and I with support and encouraging words, yet not be afraid to cry in front of us and with us.

I saw her happiness as she walked down the isle with my step-father. I rejoiced that she had once again found love. She couldn't have found a better man to share the rest of her life with. And I love him as if he was my own father because he treats my brother and I as though we are his own children.

I will never forget the gleam in her eye when my children were born. I have the image of her holding my newborn children in her arms in the hospital burned into my brain. I will always cherish the loving look she gives my children daily as they run into her office to give their Nannie a hug and a kiss. She spoils my children terribly and I love her for it. Our relationship has definitely changed and grown over the years after I had my own children. She has become a much larger part of my life and I respect her now more than I ever have before.

I irritate her and she irritates me. We spend far too much time together. We work together and I end up speaking to her on the phone at least once a night, sometimes more. We share our lives. I feel as though I can share anything with her and she will respect me for what I say and will offer the best advice I could ask for. Do I always listen? Nope. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes she is. I love our relationship. I love my mother with all my heart and I wouldn't have her any other way. She is my best friend and I would love to be just like her as I "grow up".

Eeeewww . . .

I have this aversion that I think I have blogged about before . . . it's to bumpy things. Bumpy things? You ask. Yes, bumpy things. I hate those warty gourds that they sell around Halloween. I hate the little barnacles that collect on the sea walls in Florida. I hate the little bumpy spores on the back of some greenery that comes in a bouquet of flowers. It creeps me out just writing about it. I get all shivery and itchy. It makes my skin crawl. My son has similar issues. When he was a baby he used to gag when he looked at his prune-y hands after being in the bathtub too long. Weird huh?

That being said I also have issues with bugs. They gross me out and give me the same reaction. I don't freak out when I see one. I'm not that crazy person who runs screaming from a spider, but I certainly don't want to look at one. The big pull out drawers at the zoo with the giant bugs . . . .NASTY. I once had a child at the daycare say, "Miss Sheri, there is something in my hair" It was the biggest tick I have ever seen! It had to have been there for days. I threw up. Great teacher huh?

I have been listening to much more country music lately. I have been a little bit of a fan for some time, and then my trip into Kenny-Land last summer with LJ sealed the deal. Much to the dismay of my husband, the kids and I listen to a country station while we are in the car and I have some selected tunes loaded into the I-Pod. I am by no means a connoisseur, but I have my preferences. I heard a Brad Paisley song the other day that gave me the creeps (hence the talk about my aversions) . . . " I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
and I'd like to check you for ticks"

Gross.

Emergency haircut . . . .

It's s nice to have a fabulous beautician in the family. When you call your sister-in-law at 10:15 at night crying because you daughter just chopped her hair off, she meets you at the salon first thing in the morning, on her day off to fix it. And it comes out adorable . . . . that's Nanny n the chair with McCartney. She refused to sit in the chair alone.



The damage . . .


Aunt Kari is AWESOME . . .


My cute little peanut . . .

Anxiety . . .

I have OCD. I self-medicated myself and took 2 pills today. I probably won't make a bit of difference for real, but it helps me cope. Dustin has a med review today and we have been counting down the days. He is exteremely impulsive and been a true pain in the arse lately. I want medication changed, but I fear the unknown.

We usually know when the meds aren't working other than simply behavior issues because he is in what I call "internal turmoil". He can't make up his mind. Here's how it goes :

He will ask for a pop-tart.
We say, "of course. Go make one"
He will scream "I don't want a stupid pop-tart."
We reply, "Okay, you don't have to eat one if you don't want."
He jumps up and down, screaming "BUT I WANT A POP-TART! You are starving me, you want me to die!"

I am certain that the neighbors think we are crazy. They certainly get tired of hearing him holler and curse and throw things. Lately he has been running from the house hollering, "I don't want to live here, you hate me!" I end up running down the street chasing him. Nice. Oddly enough Robert and I have been totally and completely calm throughout these rages lately. We know he is not doing them to be bratty. He has no concept of what is going on in his body. The next minute he can be calm and loving and totally forget all the trauma he just caused in the house and the nieghborhood. It's not easy. It's frustrating and makes me angry.

I've said it before and I will continue to say it . . . His mother was selfish. Drinking during pregnancy has ruined my son's life. I believe she took the life he could've had from him just as if she had aborted him. This is not the life he was meant to live, but I will make sure he is healthy, safe and as happy as I can make him! I love you Dustin!

The Mart of Walls Experience . . .

Typically we have horrid shopping experiences with my three kids. It is a rare day that they are all well-behaved and nothing gets knocked over, broken or blown up wherever we choose to shop. Yesterday was an exception . . .

I decided that after work I would pick up Robert and the kids and head on over to your friendly neighborhood Mart of Walls to do some grocery shopping. I know, I know tell me all about the evils of the large corporate giant. . . all I know is that I am poor and a fairly loyal shopper much to my husband's dismay. Usually it is a struggle even getting them into carts for the journey through the hallowed halls, but I told Harrison he could take his Gameboy in if he rode in the bucket of the cart. (He has an old gameboy advanced with 3 games that was given to us) McCartney was too tired to walk since having her surgery and Dustin was in turn happy that the other 2 were confined. First battle won by the parents.

We huried inside since we had already won a battle, when McCartney saw a large "frozen" blow up advertisement. She wanted one. Typically I won't buy something like that while shopping, but I figured why not since we are pushing fluids and I am certain the frozen treat would feel good on her throat. So I bought one for all the kids and Robert. This allowed them to focus on their drinks and not annoying us at every turn. Second battle won by the parents.

We got through the store without much trauma. Dustin was even fairly well behaved and I didn't spend half a fortune on groceries even considering that I was starving and everyone knows not to shop when hungry! I patted myslef on the back forthinking about the Gameboy and thought I would have to use it everytime we shopped. We paid for the items without the usual screaming at the registers for a treat since they already had one at the beginning, and we loaded the van without incident. Third battle won by the parents.

I chose to sit in the middle seat of the can with McCartney since I wanted this pleasant trip to remain that way and not let Dsutin irritate her all the way home thus bringing the screaming and crying that usually accompanies our car trips. We got about half way home and Harrison says, "I don't feel so well. I think I'm gonna puke" With that warning I grabbed the closest bag I could find and he bagan to wretch into a grocery bag tarnishing my apple juice and tomato juice purchase. Good news? Not very much went elsewhere. Last battle won by Gameboy car sickness.

Oh well, it was pleasant til the end.

My life is never boring . . .

Tuesday I was sitting home cuddling with my tonsil-free girl on the couch. It was about 3:00 and Dustin came down from upstairs. He had a pretty nasty scratch/cut on his cheekbone. I asked him what happened. Earlier we had an "episode" in the backyard when he didn't want to come in for lunch and weilded a rake around to "defend" himself from my insistence that he come inside. I thought maybe he had been scratched then. He said he didn't know what happened which is pretty typical since he has very few pain receptors and doesn't know when he gets hurt unless he sees blood. Then he looked at his hand and saw a tiny spot of blood from another scratch. I inspected his hands while he was freaking about about the smallest spot of blood I had ever seen (which didn't hurt, just freaked him out; you'd think his arm was falling off his body) Upon inspecting them I found many bites and scratches. . .

Backstory: our cat is a gem. We had origianlly got him because we had mice when Harrison was newborn. I didn't want to set traps and I convinced my husband the cat-hater to get a cat. He was insistent that it was not to be a pet, it was a working cat. Ozzy was brought into the house, a tiny ball of white and black fur. At 8 weeks he came into the house and moused the first night he was there. I knew his place in the household was secure. Little did I know that he would become a treasured pet. Ozzy doesn't know he is a cat. Other than the litter box escapades and the mousing, he is purely canine. He wags his tail like a dog, licks you like a dog, and comes when you call him better than any dog I have ever owned. He eats the dog's food (much to my dismay) and will eat scraps off your plate. He is the alpha-male in the home. Ozzy is my husband's BABY. He has turned from cat-hater to Ozzy-lover.

Back to the story at hand . . . Upon seeing Dustin's hand I knew precisely what had happened to his face and hands. Ozzy. Ozzy and Dustin have a love-hate relationship. Dustin LOVES him and he HATES Dustin. I will spare you the details of this, but rest assured it is hate and it is eternal. I sent Dustin to the kitchen to wash his hands and as soon as he walked out of the living room, Ozzy jumped onto the coffee table. He was slick, shiny and hair sticking up in every direction from his front paws to his tail. One ear was stuck back to his head, and his eyes were red and irritated. The following is the conversation I had next :

Me: DUSTIN get your butt in here! (loudly)
D: What? hands up and shoulders shrugged like he had no idea what in the world could be wrong
Me: Would you like to tell me what is all over the cat?
D: nothing
Me: excuse me?
D: I don't know anything
Me: It smells like hairspray, what did you do to Ozzy?
D: How did you know?

Typical Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. If I didn't see it happen, he has no idea how I could figure out that he had poured an entire bottle of harispray on the cat to get him to stay in his room. I told him to go to his room because I couldn't even look at him and proceeded to give the cat a very unwelcome bath . . . Yesterday I bought some aerosol hairspray.

My life with FAS.

Something you may not know . . . .

I have the loudest sneezes in the world. Understand that I don't sneeze loudly everytime, but boy sometimes they can knock your socks off. They are never quiet little proper sneezes. They range from startled loudness to nuclear bomb. I attribute them to being very asthmatic and not being able to get much air in, thus I holler when I sneeze to help push the air around. I don't do it on purpose, it just happens and has since I was little.

Today I was sitting in the car at a stop light on the way to work. I sneezed and the guy in the car behind me said, "God bless you". Now that's loud.

McCartney minus some tonsils . . .

Cart got her tonsils and adnoids removed toady. They were also going to remove her last remaining ear tube, but found more infection back there so they put new ones in. She was miserable waking up. She screamed for about 45 minutes in agony as the anesthetic wore off. She was not a happy camper. My mom and I took turns holding her as she wailed. Finally some time and some more pain medication settled her down. She was home last night playing in the backyard. She is doing quite well today.

Life may actually get back to normal soon . . .

It's over . . . .

The crazy week at work is over. We had our Spring Program last night and it went swimmingly. My kids totally shocked me. McCartney didn't perform hardly at all and Harrison who told me that he was in no way going to sing on stage did great! I must say in her defense that there were probably about 600 people in the audience and it was probably disconcerting.

We had special activities each night at work and I went from being a cashier at a book fair to being covered in sugar, spinning about 300 cones of cotton candy to making 250 bags of popcorn and then dressed-to-impress last night. What a week. I'm glad it is over.

This weekend the backyard needs some attention and then Monday morning will bring a tonsillectomy for McCartney. . .

A few random thoughts from some regular reads . . . .

Well, I've been so busy that I don't have a life so I thought I'd comment on some of yours. . .

Congrats to AWB on the beautiful granddaughter. I pray for health and happiness. I also pray that she is a stanch democrat and drives her grandpa crazy! LOL

Thanks to Joe over at Every Life has A Soundtrack I has the song Santa Monica by Everclear stuck in my head. He was talking about Fetcho taking a businees trip there. Ever since I can't get that beginning guitar rip out of my head. I think I have listened to it about 15 times this morning alone.

This whole Kelty sign thing stinks of Fries and his illegal sign over Clinton back last fall. The city ordinance says: in 154.131 I-2 (2) In any other zoning district, such signs shall not exceed 32 square feet in area and 6 feet in height. Such signs shall be permitted in addition to other permitted signage. The signs may be located in a required yard. It is an illegal sign and there is nothing more to say about it. I do however like the fact that the republicans are fighting like a bunch of catty girls over the 2 candidates, I can't wait to see who wins the primary and see who files behind them in the standard party line. Oh, and by the way . . . It does look like a toothpaste ad.

The Virginia Tech shooting . . . horrific! Covered nicely by my hubby.

Patty told us all about her race on Saturday. I got lost in the story. It makes me think I could run with her at my side . . .Yeah right! LOL Talk about a pep-talker and a motivator. I'm so glad I found your blog! You inspire me daily.

Laura had quite a week with some revelations and some soul searching. She continues to amaze me with her perserverance and attitude.

If you have yet to jump on over to Mimi Smartypants' page, you suck! She is my favorite read. Is it sad if I only check it about every 3 days because I get too dejected when it isn't updated? Yes, yes it is. Who could not adore the loving description of her other half . . . LT normally is pretty handy, but plumbing is not one of his things. Drinking whiskey, looking at girls, and .NET are his main things. Plumbing is not even in the top ten. Read her, NOW!

Once again, Kari has hit the nail on the head about discipline. She talks so well about how she is proactive with her kids instead of reactive. Reactive dioesn't make a darm bit of difference with kids who have frontal lobe damage due to prenatal alcohol exposure and it is equivalent to banging her head against a wall. It could do us all some good to deal with all our children in this manner. Kari continues to inspire me.

All the rest of my favorites have to wait . . . work is calling . . .

What a week . . .

I have had a rough week. I have been struggling to come to terms with Dustin's modified schedule and all that means for our household schedule. Due to this, Robert has less time for keeping up with the housework since most of his time is spent watching every move that Dustin makes. It does however allow us to have a chore chart for Dustin, but that requires even more supervision. So, it has been a restructuring of our routine.

It is also my busiest time of year as I work diligently on our special celebration week coming up in the next 10 days, and working on the big move in August, (with committee meetings and measuring and organizing and ordering and all that) as well as firming up the summer schedule of field trips and activities. I have new staff to train, orientations for families to do and First Aid classes this week and a HUGE slideshow presentation to put together. AGH!

Back to Dustin, is behavior has gone downhill at home probably due to the routine change. He is so out of sorts that I have had to return to restraining him (holds not shackles LOL) and deep pressure to calm him. It sucks and makes me feel like a horrible parent. Hopefully it is simply because of this schedule change or the absolutely CRAZY weather and we will even out soon.

I am off to a day of shopping with my mom . . .WITHOUT kids. That should turn my mood around!

Religion, a bunny, and Cadbury eggs . . . .

I purposefully neglected to post an Easter post the other day. Everyone has a take . . .truthfully I didn't want to get into it. For me it is personal. To be honest I feel guilty for the lack of "Churchinesss" we have displayed lately. I love my church. For goodness sake I work there. I have grown up in the building. I have had my issues, who hasn't, but I believe it is a place where God is present and I devote myself to my faith. I think I struggle with Easter being non-religious more than I struggle with Christmas. Not only does the birth of Jesus have nothing to do with a fat man in a red suit, but the supreme sacrifice of Jesus has nothing to do with an egg decorating rabbitt. Wow. I sound quite fanatical. I am not a nut who doesn't allow my children to believe in Santa, and they actually get Easter baskets, I'm not sure how that last sentence sounded so crazed . . .

So what's the problem Sheri? Well, you see when you have a child like Dustin, a place like church is not always a possiblity. Dustin cannot sit in service, kid's church is far too stimulating and now he is too old anyhow. Maybe I am simply too worried about him throwing fits and other's seeing that, but I cannot imagine having Dustin in church with us. We do attend Wednesday nights every now and then and we do hit and miss. Everyone I talk to at church would say, "Aw, bring him it's okay" But the looks would convey a very different meesage when he throws a fit in the middle of our 2 hour service. So I have avoided. Right or wrong that's how it is. Some may jusdge me for that, but so be it.

This was part of a sermon was given many years ago by S.M. Lockridge who was a contemporary of Martin Luther King Jr. It has long been a favorite of mine and it has come back into the limelight lately. I thought I would post it as my belated Easter post . . .

A Blessing . . .

Wow. Dustin had a SUPER day at school. I would like to say I am not surprised, but I am considering yesterday's post. I had hoped that being away from the other children would be beneficial and it was. I had also hoped that the aide that is with him developed a good bond with him and he respected her. Apparently that worked out as well. But, Sheri, it's only the first day you say. I know, Dustin however, does not have a "honeymoon" period like most children. Hopefully today will be positive as well.

I looked at PDF that was posted over at Kari's blog the other day. It scared the stink out of me. It said that out of 10,500 births daily in our country . . . 40 babies would later be daignosed as Autism Spectrum Disorder and 100 babies would be born with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. YIKES!

Que the horror movie music . . .

Today is the day.

Today, Dustin returns to school after being off nearly 3 weeks. He returns to a modified day of only 2 hours. He returns to not being the room with other students and having a 1 or 1 para-professional (aide) all to himself. I would love to think this will work. Three months ago I would've sworn it would. Now, I am not so sure. He has had so many foul days at school and has been in such a downward spiral there that I'm not certain it will be a positive experience. I hope and pray that it is.

I'm not sure what our near future holds for Dustin. Home this weekend was pretty ugly. He was nasty and disrespectful and could not keep his hands off the other 2 kids or the animals for any length of time. The cat got the brunt of it which ended last night with a jump rope tied around his collar like a leash. He got a few scratches on his face and thigh from that stunt. He ran from me on Friday evening after pulling on the dogs tail and ran directly into the table in the kitchen. It left a wicked bruise on his upper arm. We went to my mom's on Saturday evening for an Easter dinner and we had several melt-downs and I had to apply deep-pressure a couple of times just to calm him down. I'm not certain if we are going through a medication issue or simply anticipating returning to school has thrown him for a loop.

Anyhow, I think I will be on pins and needles all day until I find out how this first day went. I know it is only the first day, but they are so close to labeling Dustin a danger that one day could get him expulsion and home-bound schooling.

Spring Surprises . . .

This week has been nice. Since we returned from our family vacation the weather has been pretty nice. That is, however, all supposed to end today as it should get quite cold tomorrow and may snow by the weekend. Ugh! However, spring has sprung in my heart . . .

As corny as that may sound, I have come to a nice realization. People can be kind and helpful. You see, I am surrounded by kindness at home. Maybe it is simply that I have been refreshed by a week in Florida, but I am content and happy with my life right now. All is well at work, Dustin has been off school, so we don't have that stressor, we have a new therapist who truly seems to understand our families plight, and I have wonderful nieghbors.

Our new renters are the kindest, nicest people you could want living next to you. I thought we had a pretty good relationship with our previous neighbors, but these guys are one in a million. The mom and I have been walking in the evenings. She is a giving, kind and strong woman. She struggles with a pretty seriuos illness, yet she doesn't complain. She is a fighter. She is willing to give you anything you need. She sees someone in need and shares what she has. Her children also struggle with illness, but she is positive and supportive. She gets them out in the fresh air and keeps them active. They are respectful kids and my children love them! I am impressed with her spirit.

We have another neighbor who doesn't have much She has grown pretty close to this woman. I have always liked her and have helped her as I could. I like her, I enjoy her company. Her kids are beautiful. She does the best she can with the life she has been given. It is nice to see that my nieghbor also she's her gentle sprirt and kind ways. I think we are going to have a fantastic summer. . .

It's all over. . .

The remainder of our Florida vacation was awesome. Thekids settled into the routine of laziness and the beach and we had a swell time. My mom and step-dad did not have a relaxing time I'm afraid. We ran them ragged, but I think they enjoyed their time with us. Robert has made a video from the short clips we made on our camera. I have also posted the video of Harrison swimming across the pool.

The Magic Kingdom . . .

Okay, maybe not. We don't care for Disney. Our family's Orlando park of choice is Universal Studios. It's clean, entertaining and I don't have to hear "It's a Small World" 6,500 times. I know, I know, there are tons of Disney fans out there, but I'm not one of them.

Dustin has been to Universal before, but the "littles" had not, neither had my mom or step-dad. We spent 2 days there and had a super time. The first day was a little rocky as Dustin became acclimated to the environment. All in all he was pretty well behaved. He hurt his foot the day before on the beach and the first day at Universal did him in. When we went back today, we rented a wheel chair for him and it was FABULOUS. He kept his hands of the other 2 kids and we didn't have to chase him down or listen to him whine about how tired he was. A bonus was that people looked at him differently when he threw fits. I have remarked about how his disability is "hidden" before many times. He was looked at by others with patience today and irritation yesterday just because he "looked" handicapped in the wheelchair today. We also rented a double kid-buggy today for the littles . . . insert no-whining sentence here as well. Those choices also helped us move faster since we didn't have to rely on slow, little legs.

The best thing we spent our money on today was the "Express Pass". This wonderful little card allowed us to bypass the lines and speed right to the front. I knew they had them, but didn't want to spend the money on them before. HOLY CRAP. These little gems are well worth the money when you have pre-schoolers and a FAS child who cannot be patient for anything! I would've gladly given my left arm for this privilege after the long lines yesterday, thankfully a large sum of money was all they required.

A few funny moments . . .

My mother referred to the "Woody Woodpecker Kid Zone" as "Pecker Land" and I nearly pee'd my pants each and every time she said it. My son used to call the woodpecker that lives near her house a "pecker" when he was little. We used to get a kick out of him saying "Shhh, Nanny I hear a pecker"

As Dustin as I were ascending the "mountain" for the Dueling Dragon's ride he asked if it was coaster. I said yes to which he remarked, "Ha-Ha, you have to sit in a fat seat!" You see each coaster that has a pull-down bar had what they call "Modified Seating for guests with certain upper-body dimensions" I called them big-mama seats. Dustin cut to the chase and simply called them "fat seats". The funny part is, that when we got up to the ride, Dustin jumped in a seat and pulled the bar down and his scrawny little butt was in the "fat seat" since it was already locked, I had to squish into a regular one. Ha Ha.

Run on over to our family website to see some more pictures of our darling kids!

Sunny days . . .

What a couple days! We set off Monday afternoon for the airport. I was a little apprehensive since all three of my children have never flown. I wasn't sure how they would handle the take-off and the flight itself. I myself don't handle the final approach. They did great. I will post a video of Dustin just prior to the initial taxiing. I was quite worried about his behavior after he was this wired at the start, but he was great on the plane. Harrison and McCartney were blissfully unaware that we could plummet to our death at any moment and they were super.

This picture of McCartney shows her in the first of 5 seats she occupied during the flight. That is, if you don't count the 3 trips to 2 separate bathrooms during the hour and 57 minute flight. Harrison looks so little in the seat and I stuck Dustin near the window. God was with us and not only did we not spiral toward earth, but no one sat in the seats in front of us or behind us. Dustin was unable to annoy all our fellow passengers as we were on the wing so the noise pretty much drowned him out.

Harrison stepped off the plane to see my mother and step dad waiting for us. The first thing he says is "Nanny, where is the beach?" He had this impression that Florida is one HUGE beach. He was disappointed that by this time it was after 10 pm and the beach had to wait until the morning. They were so over-tired by the time I got the car and got to the hotel hat bedtime was awful!

This morning we headed over to "Nanny's Condor". as Dustin calls it. Harrison remarked that all the houses "stuck" to Nanny's were all the same color. My mom owns a condo in between the gulf and the inter-coastal. We had Nanny's famous waffles for breakfast and set off across the street for the beach. McCartney stepped of the ramp and onto Madeira Beach in awe. My mom asked her if she liked the beach and she said, "Yep, it looks like pepper" I love the way kids see things! I was pleasantly surprised that Harrison and McCartney were very brave and hit the water's edge like true champs. They didn't have much fear. Dustin was much better than expected since the last time we were in Florida before he "littles" were born, he was terrified of sharks getting him in the water We practically had to drag him to the shoreline. Today he had to be called in constantly because he was scaring Robert with how fearless he was. THey played for hours in the very cold water with little to no problems and "dug" the sand . . . no pun intended. What a nice day!

Tonight we headed to the inter-coastal waterway to see the boats and over to the Condo's pier. Robert had a close encounter with a pelican who thought he might have some dinner. The park across the street is awesome and the kids had a blast way past dark.

Tomorrow? Universal Studios.

Kinda good . . . Kinda crappy . . .

Case Conference was interesting. We did accept a modified schedule which means Dustin will only attend school for 2 hours daily and he will be receiving his very own 1:1 assistant. They will provide transportation and the modification has to be revisited in 20 days to see how effective it has been. We did get all of our concerns on the table and I think we were heard. They may not have agreed, but they listened. I did have some issue with the ways that Dustin's "aggression" was characterized. Dustin does bite, kick and hit. These are not anger based, they are simply a lashing out due to his low frustration tolerance. I also see them as being a product of the environment at school and that they "work" for him there. They achieve his goal which is always attention and 1:1 working environment.

I was dead-set against modifying his day before walking into the conference, but I listened to the reasons and the stories of success that they have seen due to modifying a student's day. We decided to give it a chance. Something has to stop this down-ward spiral that he is in. We have to break the cycle of "crappy" days and give him some success. I have seen his self-esteem plummet in the last month and it upsets me.

We also agreed to keep him out of school for the next 3 weeks. One One and half weeks will be due to our family vacation and the following full week is Spring Break. We thought that 3 days in the middle would be completely non-productive.

I think the school system saw our desire to work with them to create a suitable environment for learning for Dustin. I think the administration saw that we are behind them 100% and respect the chances they have given Dustin. I hope that they saw our love for Dustin and our determination that he become a functional member of society along with positive assistance at school and home. And I did see the Special Education department's drive to provide a positive and successful placement for Dustin. The resource administrator from the department is determined that Dustin will have this one more chance to succeed in this program. She is even going to come and give the new assistant guidance and training on how this needs to be done to make it work for Dustin. I can't ask for much more than that.

Gigantic Stress . . .

We have a case conference Thursday. The phrase that strikes fear in the hearts of parents of any FASD child. The school is not happy with Dustin's behavior. We cannot change his behavior while he is there. I have went to school and Robert has went to school to shadow Dustin and when we are there his is fine. We are his external brain . . . we are his control mechanism. He lacks one for himself. The school hasn't developed that skill yet. They are overworked and under staffed. He needs his own 1:1 aide. I don't feel as though that will happen easily if at all. I am not up for a fight. It sucks to have to fight for my child's education.

I am one who always looks for and waits for the worst in every situation. Thursday may be fine, but it may be ugly. I look for the ugly. I pray for the fine. The problem is the aggression that he is showing at school. It isn';t truly aggression, it's poor impulse control and it's poor judgement. He attempts to hurt someone because he thinks it will intimidate them. Last week for instance he took a teacher's hand and squeezed it. The teacher has a wrist injury and as a brace on that arm. He looked at her as though he will twist her arm, he did not. He wanted to see if that would "scare" her away from disciplining him. This was relayed to me by the teacher. By the time the office got the information, he had "twisted the teachers arm and tried to hurt her"

I have no more answers for them. I am all out of suggestions. The law says that the school district must provide my child with a free and appropriate educational placement. If this one isn't working, find one that does. If one doesn't exist you have to make one. I don't know, I am scared. I think they will try to remove him from school. That is a bad thing.

I am reminded of my favorite line from Lloyd Dobler in the movie Say Anything. "I don't know, but I know that I don't know".

What an eye opener . . .

It was definitely an eye-opening day! I got a call at 8:15 this morning from Dustin's school. His behavior was out of control and they wanted t know if I would talk to him and try to settle him down. He had hit a student in the chest in the breakfast room and in the process had spilled his yogurt all over his pants. He then went to class and began running and hiding from the teacher. When she told him she was calling me he ran out of the room and locked himself in the staff bathroom.

I was appalled at his behavior and said, "Give me 10 minutes, I'll be right there." I have had enough of this kind of behavior at school. I am so tired of hearing bad reports just as much as they are tired of giving them. This child is able to function better than he does on a daily basis at school. I have mentioned in several different conferences that I would like to come and sit with him for a day at school. He doesn't think that I have an authority there because I have been in the classroom with him. This is how his brain functions. He thinks if I can;t see him do it, it never happened.

For instance . . . Dustin will sneak and steal a chocolate pudding. He will go through all the trouble to hide it in his pants and take it upstairs, but he will not dispose of it. He will stick the pudding top to the handrail of the stairs and leave the empty pudding cup on the floor and the spoon on the step and think I will never know he did it. Why? Because I didn't see him eat that. I will inevitably see it and say, "Dustin you stole pudding!" You know what he says? "How did you know?" He is totally shocked that I could figure out that he stole pudding.

Today I decided that I was going to push the issue and stay in school with him until lunch and make him understand that I do know what goes on in school and it is not acceptable. My secondary reason was that I wanted the school to see that he can be a wonderful and obedient child with the right guidance and direction. It worked! The teachers were completely shocked with the amount of work he was able to complete and with the behaviors that were totally in control. Why? Because I WAS his control. FASD kids have no control mechanism. They have total impulsivity. They rely on others to provide external control because they can't. They all kept commenting on how this was a totally different child. I left at noon, the remainder of today was positive and he came home happy and cheerful. At least we had some success.

Will it follow through and work for tomorrow? Who knows. Probably not. Tomorrow I am meeting the bus at school and I am going to sit in on breakfast. He will not act this way at school. I am determined. It was interesting to see the vast array of disabilities that were present in Dustin's Moderately Mentally Handicapped (MoMH) class. There were so many different disabilities and so many functional levels. Each child was different. Interestingly enough the first thing that struck me was that Dustin is the only child who does not outwardly LOOK disabled. I have said this so many times about FASD kids . . . they may not appear disabled, but they are just as disabled as any other MoMH child. They have an inward disability which causes people to expect more because they *look* "normal". That is the most frustrating thing!

McCartney's lipstick

McCartney found my new makeup and said she was putting on lipstick. Funny, I didn't buy any new lipstick. What she did find was my brand new mascara. Thank goodness it wasn't the nail polish she got into. . .

Our little miracles. . .

I'm not sure that I have ever shared this story . . .

Back in 1999 my husband needed to get new glasses. He was wearing bifocals and his eyes kept getting progressively worse. We had some pretty crappy vision insurance so we went to Eyeglass World to get his eyes screened. The optometrist did his examine and had some concerns. She said he had some anomalies and thought he should see an neuorologist. Neuorolgist? I thought she was crazy. Why in the world would this optometrist be sugesting that. We ignored it. He got his glasses and we went along with our lives. About a year later his eyes had gotten much worse. It was quite distressing that they had continued to go downhill and he almost didn't pass his vision test at the BMV. He had no peripheral vision. If the line of letters read K O L U M N P he would simply see LUM. I thought it was time to go see my Opthalmolgist. I sent him to see Dr. Kempler and I went with him. Dr. Kempler did some tests and was quite concerned with the findings. We had to go back for a test a couple of days later and we sat in that little eye doctors room and he told us most probably Robert had a tumor in his brain.

TUMOR. The word struck me like a baseball bat to he head. My father had passed away from an agressive cancer hat ate away at his brain. I couldn't deal with this trauma. All I could think about was losing my husband and I freaked out. He sent us to a . . . you guessed it . . . neurologist. I felt so much guilt for not listening to the woman at the other place. We had one hope, the doctor had told us that pituatary tumors were most generally not cancerous. This was little comfort to a woman who lost her father to brain cancer and who is a tremendous worrier.

We had to see a neurologist in Kokomo becasue of our insurance. I was irritated that we livei n the 2nd largest city in Indiana and I had to drive to a po-dunk town to see a doctor. I fought with the insurance company and they wouldn't budge. It turned out being a great thing . . .

He did an MRI and confirmed that Robert had a tumor growing on his pituatary gland that was the size of 2 large walnuts. He sent us to a Neuro-surgeon in Indianapolis since they would not cover one in Fort Wayne. That was the best thing that ever happened to us because this man, "Julius Goodman" pioneered the non-invasive surgery to remove just this kind of tumor. And what do you know? Robert was one of his last patinents before he retired. We also had the privledge of having his prodigy be in the operation, this man was taking over his practice. All the insurance hassles were a blessing in disguise. . . we got the best doctor in the country for this surgery!

Robert endured a 4 hour surgery where they broke nose and drilled a hole in the bone behind his nasal pasage. They went in and "sucked" the tumor out of his brain. They had to pack the remaining hole with fat from his stomach since we learned that you cannot have void in your head. They did not cut any other protion of his skull. He has a nose packed full of gunk for days and a very big head-ache. He went home in 2 days. The tumor was not cancerous. And the "crappy insurance" paid off. We ended up paying $150 of a $30,000 surgery. A miracle all around.

We received 2 other miracles from this operation. You see, we had being trying to have a baby. Robert had never had children and wanted them so badly. I can still remember sitting in the doctor's room in Indianapolis after the tumor was confirmed and the doctor asking if we had children. We had said no, but that we were trying. He said that the pituatary tumor had been there for probably 20+ years and it had affected Robert's ability to produce viable sperm since it was limiting his testerone. He said, "If this is the only reason you haven't gotten pregnant, you will be pregnant by Christmas". I will never forget that sentence. It was hope summed up in one phrase.

And by the way . . . I was pregnant by August.

Nice night . . .

What a nice night. We in the throws of a "blizzard warning" and I am cozy and warm inside. Cuddled on the couch with my kids. Dustin is safely and soundly tucked into bed and I have a bowl of m&m's to keep me company.

I love to shovel snow. Weird huh? It's kind of like mowing the lawn. I love to mow the lawn because you get this feeling of accomplishment when you are done. You can look back at the yard and see how much better it looks. Same thing with shoveling. You can stand back and see the progress you have made.

The only bad thing about shoveling is that it bothers the heck out of my asthma. I come in all wheezy and gaspy. Gaspy? Is that a word? It should be, I like it. Anyhoo, the streets are quiet, the snow is falling again and the wind has settled for now. The snow hasn't had a chance to get all slushy and brown so it is still in that pretty surreal state. . . and I am content under my blanket . . .

God is Good . .

Let it snow . . .

Today we have a blizzard warning in our fair city. We do not close down our school unless there is a level 2 citywide emergency issued. Our county called a level 2 but it did not include the incorporated parts of Fort Wayne. What is funny is that everyone thinks they have information. We have had so many parents call and tell us that it is a level 2. We have been in constant contact with the Fort Wayne Police Department to check the status. . . and it is not alevel 2.

What strikes me as amusing is that when you give information and you are incorrect and adamant about it you sound foolish. It is like playing operator when you were a kid and once it gets down the line you are saying something totally wrong. We even had a parent that works for the street department give us faulty information. I guess all I am saying is that if you haven't gotten the information from the source, don't think it's correct until you verify it . . . if not you just lose any credibility you had.

Today, Indiana Newscenter was reporting that we had a level 2 snow emergency. This information was incorrect and was confusing our parents who were calling. We called the newsroom and a really crabby lady asked "Why do you care anyway? Why is it your business?" Well, I'll tell you why it's my business, because you should be reporting the actual news . . . although I never rely on them for news anyway. . . apparently for a reason. And this is why people are confused . . .

You can see the actual county emergency information here . . .

Ugh!

Busy as a Bee . . .

Man am I tired! I have spent the past 5 days getting my duplex ready to re-rent. It is always a chore to get everything in order that needs to be done. . . painting, carpets, windows, etc. I feel as though I have been painting for my entire life. But there is nothing better than freshly painted walls to make a place truly fresh and clean. It does look great. I have cleaned and scrubbed, replaced carpet, replaced faucets, replaced light fixtures, and painted every room . . . all 1500 square foot of space. The renter picked out some really nice colors and the place looks fantastic! I have a little more cleaning to do and a short list that is finally under a full page, then I am DONE. Dustin was quite helpful and Robert was great.

On another note, I have a new front door and it looks fabulous. The only bad thing is that I cannot paint it until it is at least 45 degrees. . . it will kill me to wait! I want to paint it something bold and vibrant. All the pieces that my life broke into last week seem to be falling back into place. That's always a nice thing. . .

Dustin had a difficult weekend since his schedule was messed up with all the painting and today at school he bit a teacher. Yes, you read that right, BIT a teacher. I was in a meeting and since we only have one car, an administrator actually brought him home for his suspension. They must have really wanted him out of there LOL. It was, however, nice that they did that. He has a doctor appointment tomorrow, but we are expecting a big snow and then it will be canceled, so we shall see what tomorrow holds. . .

The kids are all in bed, and the dogs are huddled up on the couches. For now I am trying to catch up on all of our DVR-ed television shows . . .

Not fun . . .

Fair warning . . . I'm gonna whine.

Sunday morning I woke to a frozen toilet feeder line in my back bathroom. I put a heater on it in the basement crawl space and it broke free in about 2 hours and there was no damage. Lucky . . . or so I thought.

I spent the whole day patiently waiting for the BIG game and watching all the pre-pre-pre game fluff. I was enjoying myself . . . until I sat down on the toilet and the seat cracked (no fat jokes) pinching my thigh. Not very fun. I decided to run to Lowe's and get a new seat before the game. I headed out the front door and I heard this horrific crack. The door jam inside the wall snapped and I could not shut my door in sub-zero weather. After about 20 minutes of messing with it I got it closed and I have someone coming out to measure this week so I can get a new one installed. Not fun!

I sit down with pizza and a warm snuggly house to watch the game. About an hour into the game I decide I should run next door and check the apartment and make sure everything is still dripping since it so miserably cold and I don't want anything else to freeze. As soon as I walk in the back door I hear rushing water. I had a pipe break in the basement and it was spewing water. I had to turn water off to the whole house. I spent the remainder of the superbowl trying to get a plumber out to no avail. We went without water until the next day.

The plumber came out and put new shut-offs on those lines and turned the rest of the house back on. He cannot fix the lines in the half bath on the other side until it gets warmer. that's okay because my new renters aren't moving in until later in the month. The kicker is . . . they had us turn on the faucets to drain the lines, so when the water went back on Robert forgot the renter's side was on. The upstairs sink was on and it is a slow drainer so it was raining in the dining room. The water was on for about 1 hour before he realized it. Now I have a wonderful mess in the dining room to work on.

Lastly, my renters moved out this weekend, so I have repairs to make as well as painting and hauling away all their old junk. They left crazy amounts of crap and trash and junk, old tvs, old microwaves, nasty curtains and various stuff. The basement is a disaster and every wall in the house has crayons or marker drawings, along with about 500 nail holes. (ok maybe an exxageration). They didn't even vaccuum, I dumped my vaccuum 3 times before I was finished sweeping the mess. You should've seen the laundry room and the mess they left from behind the washer and dryer. I about puked. And by the way, don't think that you're gonna get all your deposit if I have to clean your nastiness out of the fridge. In my whole life I have never left an apartment that was not clean and neat. I have scrubbed the fridge, the toilet and the tub. I want my deposit, and I was raised to respect other people's things. Makes me irritated and crazy angry!

Have a great day!

Blue Friday . . .

That's me and my mom desecrating a co-wrker's desk who is a Bear's Fan!

Here's McCartney with Hunny-Bunny her favorite Build-a-Bear!

School troubles. . .

I had a phone conference for Dustin's behavior plan today. It was not fun. His behavior is spiraling downward at school for a couple weeks. At home we are having loads of progress with the new medication. What do I think is the problem at school? His behavior is working for him. He gets the attention that he is trying to get. At home when he is behaving improperly he gets "that's enough" or a simple "stop it". At school he gets lots of information. He gets explanations and cause and effect discussion. He gets ATTENTION. He is throwing himslef on the floor if he doesn't get his way. Let him lay there. Give him direction and state the intended result and let it be. He will c omply when he is no longer getting your attention.

I am not faulting the school. They are doing what is "normal" to do. They are fabulous and trying their best to work with him and keep him in school. I truly believe they have a heart for moderately handicapped children. Dustin is a whole new ball of wax. The "normal" stuff doesn't cut it. Reasoning is wasted. It will not work for Dustin. He has them wrapped around his finger.

I feel like banging my head against the wall. I wish that I could sit in class with him for a week. Then, I could redirect and be involved. Not only showing them what to do, but giving me some authority over the situation at school would help in disciplining him at home. He is a very compartmentalized child and if I could insert myself into the school setting it would help.

I did give them one suggestion that I stole from Kari. I told them to let Dustin send us email updates about his day. I thought maybe that would encourage him behave in order to give a good report to dad in an email. They thought it was fabulous. Other than that I said I am fresh out of fresh ideas for you. I cannot control the situation you deal with. . .