He's got the look . . .

Dustin has the look of disregulation. I could see it this morning as he refused to brush his teeth. It starts with his left eye. It gets saggy. Then, they both begin to look empty.

Why? I am not sure. We are leaving for vacation soon. Dustin usually flips out when we leave the house for anything more than a few hours. He will not listen to Robert. Typically he is the one that controls him best. He clings to me. He is defiant and grouchy. He turns off and is glazed and almost groggy. I think it stresses him out to leave the house and all he knows is stable. He also freaks out about leaving the animals behind. We are having someone stay and watch them, but it is not us. I am almost certain that he was left alone when he was a child on many occasions.

I know these are his triggers, but it does not make things any easier to deal with. I just hope he doesn't do something stupid before we leave. I hope he enjoys himself while we are gone, and I hope he can let the rest of us enjoy ourselves as well. I think it will help that my mom and step-dad are already in Florida and the condo is a familiar place since we were there a couple years ago. He is all about consistency. The condo we rented is in the same complex and is a similar floor plan to my mom's place. He has already said, "I want to stay in the hotel we stayed at before. They miss us." No dear, the nasty, cheap hotel does not miss us.

I just hope I survive the car ride. We traveled to Florida long ago to visit Robert's dying father (who is still around!) when Dustin was just placed with us. He had only been with us for about 3 weeks and we stuck him in a car and traveled to Florida. Holy Lord! This was when he was in six years old and 5 medications, 22 pills daily and FREAKIN' bonkers all. the. time. We were stupid. On the way home, I truly almost left him at a gas station in Georgia. I literally got in the car and thought about driving away with him in the bathroom at like 3 in the morning. It was not my most motherly moment! It cannot be that bad again . . . can it? (don't answer that!)

This time we will stop in Georgia and see Lisa and travel to the top of Stone Mountain. I am looking forward to both. The last time I was on top of Stone Mountain was on our honeymoon. The kids really better be good on the trip there . . . or don't get too close to the edge.

(Hold your horses . . . I am joking!)

Success . . .

The talk to the pregnant girls went well. They were kind and attentive. I kept feeling like I was doing a scared straight program. I talked A LOT about Dustin and his issues. We talked about offering your baby the best possible start by making healthy choices. I think they heard me. I was honest and told them I harbored anger for Dustin's mother. I told them I knew it wasn't healthy, but I felt like I needed to be honest with them. One girl said, "I understand. You are angry because he could've had a better life. I bet she is angry with herself too." Whoa. The insight from a 16 year old pregnant teen. . .

I have also found out about a program that will give some services to Dustin. I am looking into it today. It is a newly funded program that offers respite (!!!!) and some in home services. It also deals with some transitional and independent living skills which is strongly needed. The goal is keeping kids out of residential treatment. We definitely qualify based on their requirements, I just hope it is a good fit for him. I am fearful about bringing in another team to deal with all this, but I have to have some semblance of trust in order to see if it will work. I am reaching past my limits with this one, but hopefully it will be a blessing. I am praying it meets our needs.

The littles are doing well in school. Harrison has a fabulous teacher this year and he adores her. McCartney has the kindergarten teacher that Harrison has and she is very kind. I am looking forward to Spring Break in a couple weeks. I am just looking forward to green grass and warmer temperatures and playing outside!

Are you kidding me . . .

I came home today and Dustin was all excited. "Mom! I have something to tell you. I had a soldier visit me today at school. He came and talked to my table at lunch today and he says I should talk to you about joining the army!"

Seriously.

This recruiter went up and talked to a group of moderately mentally handicapped kids and told them they could join the army. This is a group of children who have IQs under 70 and who will likely never read more than functional words. Not only did he talk to them, have gave them a DVD to show to their parents and a mousepad. Dustin said, "Mom he said I can aim good". Nice.

Dustin is now convinced he wants to join the military. He is obsessed.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome blows . . .

I am having a rough week. I am sick and tired of dealing with the fall out of my son's prenatal exposure to alcohol. He is running again people! Those of you new here, my son tends to fall more on the flight side than the fight side. His impulse control is ZERO and when he gets frustrated with us, he takes off. The nicer spring-ish days has allowed him to take off twice now. Saturday he took off for about a half an hour and yesterday he left, but Robert caught him before he hit the corner. Saturday he was out of sight for about half the time. The other 15 minutes were spent running away from Robert, back and forth in front of our house and down to the very busy bridge just south of our block and nearly being hit by a truck. Seriously. He spent the rest of the weekend in his underwear. It is the only way I know to keep him in the house.

I get so frustrated that his life could've been so different. I know that his Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is made more difficult by the fact that he is also moderately mentally handicapped and schizophrenic, but I am just so sad that the FAS portion of his issues was 100% preventable had his mother refrained from drinking while he was in utero. I know that I can only deal with what is given to us, but I mourn the life he could've had.

I am spending Thursday afternoon speaking to pregnant high school students in an alternative learning program. I am going to have a hard time because I have been told that some of these girls are currently in drug treatment and some have admitted to drinking while they are pregnant. I know some of their children already have some deficits due to their choices while their children are supposed to be in safe in their womb. I harbor much anger for Dustin's mother and I hope I can convey kindness to these girls while still explaining that their choices are effecting their child. I am not sure I will be asked back. It should be interesting.

Slacker . . .

I am a super blog slacker.

I was sick for about 2/3 of February and I am trying to catch up with my life. How about some bullet points:

- McCartney got the most adorable haircut. It is stacked in the back and tapered down to the front. I was so tired of scraggly hair that looked fabulous if it was brushed, but about 3 minutes later it looked like poo. She loves it and that is a good thing.

- I spent hours Sunday cleaning up 3 months worth of winter dog poop. yum.

- Dustin is doing okay. He is still not able to be more than 3 feet from us, but for now he is not throwing too many fits. I am afraid of spring and that it will bring back the running away. I am going to have to get over this and just deal.

- We are going to Florida. Woot. I am afraid Dustin will run while we are there. I am going to have to get over this as well. I am not going to spend my vacation fretting over this. Our condo is about 20 feet from the intercoastal waterway. He loves water. I truly hope the thought of sharks in the water will keep him from running out and to the water every 5 minutes.

- Dustin turned 15. 15. How did that happen? I wished for no more whining when he blew out the candles, but I got nothin'.

- I really hate teenage-text-type. I hatee the doublee letterss on the endss of wordss. I hate plz instead of please. And I really like the hide feature in facebook for those who do this! I am guilty of letting my son have a facebook profile (the 7 year old) so he can play games. But I really don't like teenagers (or preteens for that matter) invading facebook and having to look at their nonsense. (Man I sound old! *Shaking fist and telling the hooligans to get off my lawn*)

- I am selling the jewelry that McCartney and I make at a conference this weekend. We shall see how that goes. I am nervous no one will buy anything and I will look stupid. I will take a picture one I get all set up. Truly I am just happy to have a few hours wihout children!

Information . . .

I was reading a post over on another blog and began thinking about sharing "too much" about our kids. I have been kind of "chewing" on it ever since.

This parent is the adoptive parent of a pretty difficult kid. They fought a removal notice and successfully adopted their daughter. During the process, the child began displaying some rough behaviors to deal with. The writer opined more than once that she should not adopt this child. She didn't really want to adopt her. She was pretty honest. She knew that it would be a hard road, but her spouse insisted. She acquiesced and did the deed. She regrets it. She is constantly writing about how long it is to her birthday. To be perfectly honest, I don't read that often because it really is a drag. It makes me sad, sad for them, sad for the child and sad in general. I will not link to her because I don't want to draw negative attention her way. She is hurting and I respect that (and to some extent respect her), but I struggle with it to be quite honest. . . and well, this is my blog so I can say so.

What got me chewing is that she is always talking about telling this person and that person about her child's negative behaviors. The neighbors, the school, friend's mothers, a friend who is a social worker(not the child's), the teachers, friends, old friends she just reconnected with, etc. Some of these people are even brought in to give the child "the business" about her behavior.

I suppose I need to say that I understand it is her blog and she can vent how she chooses just as I do. I understand that some of these people do need to know what the child is capable of so they can stop some sort of manipulation that may be happening. I get that sometimes "it takes a village" to raise a child. I also understand that I air all my dirty laundry on here as well. I suppose that is why I am asking, for myself as well, "How much is too much?"

I want to educate the world that Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is a "hidden" disability. I want to spread the word that drinking during pregnancy can and will cause organic brain damage. I offer my child as a prime example of a child who has lost the chance of a "typical" life because of the selfish choices his mother made. I want to shoot that from the rooftops. He knows what he "has". He knows what his mother did. I say it in front of him. I have heard him more than once say, "I am special needs." I am okay with that. This hidden disability makes it hard for people to understand he is different. Is that too much to share?

I share that he has schizophrenia with close friends so that they can support us in the hard day to day work it takes raising this child. It explains why we cannot let him out of our sight at gatherings and why he is a danger to other children if left alone with them. We share that he is moderately mentally handicapped and that means he has a low IQ. We share that he is more like a 5 year old than the 15 year he appears to be. Is that too much to share?

We share with family that he was severely physically abused and sexually molested in his past. They need to know that he could and has made false allegations against people. They need to know that neighbors have made allegations after hearing some severe flashbacks he has had. They need to support us and act as a back up in the vent that we need a break. No one else can watch him. Is it too much to share?

I am by far anonymous on here. I was turned into city code enforcement after a post I made on here late last year about a door lock. I was unaware it was against code. Someone decided to turn me in instead of telling me that I was in violation. It was a turning point for me. I have struggled to blog since. I was in a store not too long ago and Dustin was with me. He was being quite rude and really pushing the limits. Those of us who deal with this know there is a short window of time to reign that in before it becomes a full blown, wallowing on the floor, ugly screaming, running fit. I was in his face and adamant that he straighten up. A lovely woman approached me and told she was a blog reader and was happy to meet us. I was mortified. I was embarrassed that she had witnessed that and I was honestly frightened it would look bad. Then I realized, if she reads here she probably understands. But did she? Was it too much?

I worry that the good (allowing people to better understand our kiddos) I am doing putting it out here, is not outweighed by the bad. I struggle to make sense of whether what I am doing is good for my son or not.

I do know that if I had not found the blogging community I am not sure Dustin would be with us today. I am fairly certain he would be in a residential or institutional setting. Had Kari not found me and commented here, I would've taken a lot longer to realize there are so many of you out there. While our children are very different, we all have similar struggles. Jo's dear son is very much like Dustin. We share similar experiences. We commiserate on facebook quite a bit. Lisa has the best ideas and is willing to try anything with her girls, and has one miracle and one more in the making. I cannot wait to meet her face to face in 30 short days. Linda and Mary never give up. In the face of great challenges, they plug away day by day and still find joy in small things. Linda, Theresa, Claudia and Cindy have large size families that have many behaviors we deal with and I am amazed at what they go through. Essie and Mom in the Trench have kiddos who don't always choose to control their bodily functions. Essie has a wicked sense of humor and Mom has a great faith. Reighnie, who struggles with her adopted nieces and nephew while dealing with her quadriplegic husband, boggles my mind with her strength and her grit. Barb and her great struggles with her oldest send me screaming for the hills and yet she endures. Torina is dealing with a transitional plan for a very tough daughter and has great taste in music. Yondalla raises much older boys, but always has a kernel of knowledge for everyone. Atlasien is looking to add another child into her home and I applaud her patience. And of course the lovely Christine who has a wonderful outlook and great hair! I am sure there are more of you out there I have forgotten.

I would be remiss not to mention the ones that has disappeared and I still miss, Antigone Lost, Bumpy Road to Motherhood, Baggage and Bug, Princess Shine Pages, and Journey to the Heart. I learned something from all of you.

I would not be where I am without you all. So I suppose I share more than most, but not as much as others. I guess I can be the only judge of what to share and what not to share with those in our lives. I will try make those decisions for our family the best I can.

New addiction . . .

I love music. My dad instilled the love of music in me at a young age. Something my husband and I share is our love of music. Unfortunately it doesn't always agree with one another. I like most of what he likes, he likes a fraction of what I choose. But, he is pretty patient with my music for the most part. Favorites? Janes Addiction, Nine Inch Nails, The Replacements, Stone Roses, Ministry, REM, The Cure, The Pixies, Indigo Girls, Elvis Costello, Lloyd Cole, Alice in Chains, Stone Temple Pilots, The Gufs etc.

New favorite? The Heavy. Holy smokes they knocked my socks off! Love these guys.

I cannot stop listening to them. I knew I had cool kids, they like them too. Thankfully, because it has not been ejected ONe of my from the car CD player in three days. Seriously, if you have ears, check them out! facebook friends began posting their videos and the LOVE has spread like wildfire through my facebook friend base. We all are smitten!





Woot!

Too True Tuesday 15 . . .

Today Essie wants us to divulge our "secret compulsions. Your obsessions. The private little things you do not because you want to but because something bad, possibly involving VooDoo and world decimation, could happen if you don't. Yes indeed, those little maneuvers you participate in to save yourself from a horror beyond the imagination of Steven King."

Not so hard for someone who is OCD. Huh? I have a few. *snicker*

I think the WORST one, and most irrational is bumpy things. I hate bumpy things. Just typing that makes my head get all tingly. Oh my gosh, that sounds weird. Do you ever get that creepy tingly feeling that starts at the top of your head and washes down your neck and shoulders and when it reaches your arms it makes you shudder and your head and neck itch? That's what bumpy things do to me. I know, seriously warped.

Culprits:

bumpy gourds - my co-workers think it is funny to buy them and put them on my desk, NOT amusing! :)

those creepy pores on the back of the leather leaf you get in flower bouquets (ugh, they have to be taken out andthrown away, but I won't touch them!

barnacles on docks and boats - our condo in Florida is on the intercoastel waterway, right by the pier. I am praying for high water so I don't have to see the barnacles.

warts - we had woman, sweet as could be, that worked at the daycare that was covered in these bumpy warts and I could hardy look at her.

ANYTHING that has creepy bumpy nubs on them!

I have to end this post now, my head it itchy! Argggggh!

Field trip from hell . . .

I have been incredibly sick. I got a bad case of strep the first week of February. I was miserable. Like praying for death miserable. The next week I went back to work and felt fine. The following Tuesday I ended up heading home again with a sore throat, no voice and a fever. I developed a wicked cough that led my doctor to putting me on a VERY strong antibiotic for pneumonia. It did not work. I spent the week in agony. I began getting all these blisters on the inside of my mouth. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the strep was back. The doc kept insisting I had pneumonia. I went back to the doc for the third time in 3 weeks and he announced I was pneumonia free (no kidding) and that I had a massive strep infection and thrush. He put my on another antibiotic because for some reason the super-antibiotic was not working at all. I finally began feeling better on Wednesday.

Enter Thursday.

I had promised to go on a field trip with Harrison's class. You must be cleared by the school corporation to volunteer with criminal checks and such. The teacher really needed my help. I really wanted to go becuase it was a trip I went on while I was in elementary school. We were going to the Yoder Sugar Bush farm to see how maple syrup is made. If I love anything it is sugar! And sugar from trees . . . nectar of the gods! I so wanted to go, but I knew it would be miserable. Harrison would not allow me to back out, and I am stubborn so I went.

4 and half hours.

Outside.

In 25 degree weather awith a windchill of 10 degrees.

I am not sure I have ever been so cold and miserable in my whole life.

I cannot believe I went on that field trip. I am a fool. I came home and bawled in my hubby's arms. I was so sick. And I was so tired of feeling like poo. My mouth was incredibly painful and I had no voice. The syrup was good though!

Friday morning I woke feeling better. I think the outside air helped "blow the stink off" and maybe froze the germs to death! I also woke to 3 kids with fevers. ARGH! I was determined to get better! I didn't step foot outside all weekend. I layed around, did projects and got better. This week I am back at work but still have blisters in my mouth and on my tongue. I am slowly recovering. It has been hard.

I leave for Florida in 30 days! (with a short overnight stop in Stone Mountain to meet the incredible Lisa and J!) I must get completely healthy. I leave you with some really cool pictures from the maple syrup farm . . .

My imperfections . . .

I have been planning this post for some time. I think I have eluded to it for some time. My house is old. We have lots of imperfections. Oh how I would love to have a show home, but alas it is not to be. I love my little imperfect home. I stress about the small things, but I need to learn to get over it. This is my first step. I will share our little imperfections with you. I will share all my free and thrifty finds. Mary has shared that she needs affirmation. . . I realized I do too. Lots. So show the love folks. . .

I rarely buy anything new. I am too stinkin' thrify. I love Craigslist, in fact I think I may be addicted. I check it a couple times daily. . . even if I am not looking for anything in particular. Seriously. Here are some recent Craigslist finds. . .

McCartney's desk and dresser, I paid $40 for both.



Our living room furniture. I paid $100 for a leather loveseat and three chairs. Ching! LOVE it with the kids and the dogs. It cleans so well with a little vinegar and water spray. Regular body soap on a rag works for the really nasty ugg the kids get on it. (Notice the cords on the floor. I think we have a Nintendo charge plugged into every outlet downstairs. Thank goodness my OCD is medicated!)

This click-clack futon works fabulously in the kids area. I paid $60 on Craigslist. The kids can fold it down to lay down and watch a movie and they don't have to fight over space. Love it! The pillows were from our old furniture. The kids can throw them on the floor and do whatever and I can just throw them in the washer. Win-win. The little rocker was from the trash. (Note the other Nintendo charger plugged in and laying on the floor)


This entertainment center for the "kid area". I paid $ 20. I know it is ugly, but it serves the purpose of getting all the crap wrangled and the baskets kinda hide the ugly junk. Note: the mirror was a throw away from one of the condos my stepdad rents so I snaked it. I bought the cute little candlestick lamps at Good will for $3 last week. The baskets were also from Goodwill, with the exception of the Longaberger on the bottom. That was before I had children and I could spend big bucks on a basket LOL.


I had my eye on this island for some time. I have little to no counter space and very little storage. This was clearanced and I asked if they would sell me the floor model at a discount. (I have no apprehension of asking for % off something) and they gave me an additional 15% off. AND it was already put together. Woot! I think I paid $70 for it instead of $13o. The cake plate with the cute cheese dome on it came from Goodwill for less than $3 each.


This component rack was also a floor model that was on clearance. I also got an additional 10% off for taking the floor model. I think I paid $50 instead of $125.

Once again, no storage in the kitchen calls for interesting fixes. I bought this rack on clearance at Lowes. I used it for small appliances, but I needed to put ugly stuff on the bottom (like roasters and cookie sheets) So I used a Goodwill shower curtain and made some curtains and a little cover for the bottom of the rack. Unfortunately I did not have enough fabric so I used part of a thrifted sheet that I had in my fabric stash. The sheet happened to match the wall paint color perfectly. I hung it on the rack using metal shower rings. I love that the curtains are hung a little low so that we get more sunlight, it was like that when we moved in and I left it. (Notice the plastic over the left window stapled to the inside of the window. I am all about stay warm and this window is wickedly drafty. Whatever works! And more Longabergers!)
Clearance also applies to appliances too. This refrigerator was a special order that the people decided they did not want. I got it at Lowes for a fraction of the price. I have no idea how much it was originally, but we got it for way under the regular bottom freezer drawer stock models. It is my favorite thing in my kitchen. I just had to buy a washer last weekend. I went to Lowes and asked if they had any scratch and dent. They did not, but I got a model that was reduced and since it was high efficiency, I got an additional 15% off. She said she only had one left so you guessed it, I asked for an additional discount. Got 10% more off and free delivery to boot! Our stove was being clearanced at Best Buy when they stopped selling "biscuit" colored and went to "almond". (Notice the stool? Trash. The locker was a throw away from my work. I have had it for about 10 years and it has been about 6 different colors. It has held books, clothes, movies and now is awesome kitchen storage.)

This mama is one of my favorite peices of furniture. This fab armoire was a clearance scratch and dent from a local furniture store. What was wrong with it? It has a small chip out of the right bottom leg. I color it with a brown sharpie every once in a while. We paid $549 instead of $1499. Once again, that was before kids. I am not sure I would've paid that now for a hunk of furniture. We used to keep our TV and components in it, but since we have a giant TV, we use it for storage. The bottom portion is all kid's shoes. Sigh. (Note more Longabergers on top. I had an addiction)

Have I told you I will stop for cool stuff in the trash? I have no pride. These are fabulous trash finds over the last few years.


This desk is what the kid's compter sits on. The chair and the window above is also a salvage find. All three of these things came from someone's trash.


I posted about these chairs here. I found them in the trash and recovered them for less than $10. I think they are cah-ute!


These chairs also had a blog post here. They came from the trash as well. They got a fresh coat of spray paint and some left ovr vinyl for the seats. (I have kids people) They are now at our dining room table.


This little lovely came from someone's trash as well. It also had a matching harp style mirror that was broken. Oh how I wish I woudn't have left that behind. I so could've fixed that, but I left it behind for the trash guys. Poo. I couldn't bring myself to paint over this guy's (I have named him Chester, I know I am nuts) wonderful chippy, crackly finish. I do love some shabby love. This guy lives in the entryway and keeps all our hats and gloves and dog leashes in it's drawers. Notice the crappy self-stick parquet type tile. Ugh. But check out his glass knobs and cute key holes! (Along with some dhild's crayon love, not mine)


This beauty was also from the trash. We use it for storing office supplies and cameras and other small electronics. I love it! She is beat up and warm and yummy. This sits by our front entryway and hold all the mail, change basket, and other stuff on top. (Notice the backpack stuffed underneath and more pre-children, pre-thrifty Longabergers on top)

How thrifty are you? What are your imperfections?

Sunday, Sunday . . .

Today I am making oodles of meals and fixins' for my friend Jill. She selflessly and graciously gave her father a kidney this week. A good friend is coordinating meals for her and I am making 3 meals for her and 3 meals her father. I have also decided to make some breakfast foods so that they can have some easy, already prepared breakfasts as well. I am reeling from the wonderful sacrifice she is making. I am in awe of her generosity, the least I can do is make some food.

We have had a pretty easy and mellow weekend. I have be enjoying the Olympics. Dustin has been pretty decent albeit "lippy" but I suppose that is to be expected since he is turning FIFTEEN this week. Even though he is really a 4 year old emotionally, it does not stop the snotty teenage mouth apparently. I took him to church this morning which was ridiculously irritating with the noises, the constant "whispers" that were heard across the sanctuary, and the figety-ness. I wanted to pull my hair out . . . but I refrained. I suppose the loud burp that made me giggle uncontrollably made me chill out. It is amazing what laughter can do for our attitudes.

After church we had to run to the Mart of Walls because our washer died Friday. I got a new high efficency washer and had to go buy that special laundry soap. I had a fabulous thing happen in the detergent isle. Someone introduced themselves to me as a blog reader! She said, "I feel like I know you!" How awesome is that?

I love the internet.

Back off dude . . .

I just read an article over at 5 Minutes for Special Needs that got me to thinking. Run on over there and check it out. If not, it speaks about "giving in" to our kid's with special needs. The author, Ellen, was taking about a trip to McDonalds when her son really wanted to sit at his "normal" table that was already taken. The kind father and daughter who was sitting there got up and moved. Another father gave her a snarky look. Ellen admits she could've simply been too sensitive and misconstrued his look, but who amoung us has not mistaken a look as being aimed pointedly in our direction.

I am well aware that some families chose to keep their children's disabilities private. But I am the woman who would use this kind of moment to educate people. I suppose if I was unsure if the dad was being snarky or not I would direct my attention to the dad who was kind enough to move tables. I would profusely thank him for noticing that my son was quite fond of that table and with his particular special needs routines are important and he doens't really understand boundaries. I would of course do this at a decibel level that would be sure to be heard by possible snarky dad. I would tell them that "some people" don't understand my child has special needs and I appreciate his kindness. I would also ask my child to say thank you.

If I was well aware that the snarky dad was indeed being snarky and possibly mumbling about me giving in to my child, I would direct my attention directly to him and let him know that my child is special needs and even though he may look "typical" he has organic brain damage. My volume would be in direct corelation to the volume he used showing his displeasure.

For those of you who have not been reading here that long, I had this happen once in Sam's Club and once in Pizza Hut.

How would you handle it?

Meet my new best friend . . .

I live in an old house. Old like 110+ years. It is a duplex we rent the other side. It is nice to have someone pay the majority of your mortgage. We got the house for a steal. It is old. It needs some serious upgrades. We do not have the money for upgrades. Have I told you it is old?

I am learning to embrace my home and all of the faults. I had planned to post pictures of the house along with its faults a while back. I could not do it. Does anyone else take pictures for their blog and have to position their kids at certain angles to not show their house;s faults in the background? I do. I am a freak about showing people my house. I just don't do it. I like my house. I am content with what I have, but I know that my little hovel doesn't compare to what's out there. Maybe I simply read too many decorating blogs. . . (then dear Lisa goes and posts pictures of her lovely house!)

I have to keep telling myself that in order to have a stay at home parent, which is absolutely needed for a child like Dustin, we have to make some lifestyle choices. And, HELLO, I work in daycare!

Anyway, all that to say that I have a new best friend. Her name is Georgia, cause I am weird and name my appliances. She is FAB. I am constantly telling the kids, "Get off the filthy floor!" and "Don't drag that blanket around on the dirty floor!" because no matter how much I mop and scrub the floors they do not seem clean to me. I replaced the kitchen floor a couple years back, but the dogs run through the kitchen on the way back inside. It never feels clean to me. I LOVED my swiffer wet jet, but had issues with buying new solution and pads. I had some tricks up my sleeve, but it started leaking once and Robert set it outside in the rain. Ummm, it has batteries! It was dead and I did not buy a new one because those suckers are $20+.

Sunday, I was trolling the store and broke down and picked up another wet jet. Down one of the aisles, I saw a steam mop. I decided it was time to try it. It was okay. It was the basic Shark version. I really didn't much care for it. I read alot of reviews and decided to give it 3 shots to clean the floor. Everyone said that it takes 3 cleanings to remove all the built up gunk and cleaning products from the floor. Two more cleanings and I was still not sold. It did not seem like the steam was reaching through the pad and it was hard to push around the floor. The pad kept rolling up because it had a lame velcro type stick on system. Last night I went out and bought the better Pocket Steam Mop to see if it really was better.

Awesome.

I love it.

So worth the extra $20 (on sale). The heads swivel. It comes with a rectangular one and a triangular one for bathrooms and tight spaces. The covers create a pocket that holds the steam so they work better than the lame stick on ones of the regular version. The steam holes are evenly spaced as opposed to the one steam hole on the cheaper version. It works like a dream on the hardwood floors, linoleum and tile. The head will flip over so I have 2 cleaning surfaces on one cover. I did the whole house with one head this way, then popped it into the washer. The best part is that it ONLY uses water, no harsh chemicals and it is clean AND sanitized. The steam reaches 220 degrees. Those pads are HOT when you take them off and the floors are warm to your feet! The floors dry instantly so I don't have to blockade the kitchen to let the floor dry before kids, cat and canines dirty up my mopped floors.

My floors feel clean. Maybe I can stop freaking out about dirty floors!

Do you have one? Do you like it?

Good weekend . . .

It has been a pretty good weekend. Dustin has been pretty well behaved and the kids have played well. I have been decluttering our house over the past week weekends and just when I think I have pitched all I can, it seems I find more crap to throw out. Even though we are not planning on moving anytime soon, I keep asking myself if I had to move would I want to move this? If the answer is "Heck no!" then it goes to the trash. I also bought a new mattress set off a friend and did some swapping of furniture upstairs yesterday. I love feelin productive on the weekends! I have not felt well the past couple days so I have really tried to keep myself moving.

Have I told you how much I love the home made cleaning products I have been using? Fabulous! They are awesome at removing greasey fingerprints and leaving behind nothing but clean surfaces. As soon as the giant box of laundry soap I recently bought is gone I am going to try making my own laundry soap. I will take you along for the journey. I am sure you are excited! Maybe not. Not everyone gets so thrilled about cleaning products as I do. :)

I have a smooth cook top stove and today I boiled some water to defrost our chest freezer. I forgot I had just done that and went to brush the crumbs off the stove top. Holy heck! I burned the stink out of the palm of my left hand. I cried. I had Harrison run upstairs and get Robert who was napping. I thought I may need to go to the hospital. With about an hour of rinsing in cool water and some aloe spray, I think I got it under control. It is definitely gonna blister and it may actually be a second degree burn. It is a little discolored and the thumb muscle is terribly sore and still burning. I have it wrapped currently and I can hunt and peck on the keyboard. As long as I don't bend my thumb I am okay . . . well that and some pain meds. Burns are a huge fear of mine and I freaked out and scared the crap out of Dustin. He was quite helpful and very worried about me, he keeps asking me if I am alright, cute but irritating.

My mom has been in Florida for two weeks. The kids and I are going to surprise her at the airport. McCartney wants to bring flowers so I need to get moving. . . hope y'all had a fabulous weekend!

Our "normal" . . .

In the comments of the last post, Miz Kizzle asked "Is it difficult keeping Dustin away from your other kids? How does he react to being separated from them? Do the other kids mind or do they prefer not to be around him? I'm curious because it's hard for me to imagine keeping my three apart from each other and we live in a pretty large house"

I love Miz Kizzle because she always asks questions when she is trying to envision something and can always make me think!

Dustin is not only on in-line supervision, but he is on a 3 foot "leash". Put down your phones! Do not call CPS! He is not actually on a leash! He is only allowed near an adult and cannot be more than 3 feet from us at any time.

Why? Dustin is a danger to himself, our possessions and others. His lack of any impulse control is difficult to manage. He is in need of an external brain to control his impulses because he is totally unable to do so on his own. That is the reason he has a 1:1 paraprofessional at school. He also struggles with very poor cause and effect correlation. He cannot fathom that his actions can cause negative consequences and is unable to predict what will happen. Because he struggles with object permanence, he is also very likely to "steal" food and gorge himself, and because he has lessened pain receptors, he has no concept of feeling full. Ever. He also tends to pick at the plaster walls and make HUGE holes (like ones I can drive a truck through) and pull carpet strings that end up unraveling whole sections of carpet. The last reason is that due to his schizophrenia, he tends to do better if he is constantly around people so that his "friends" (his hallucinations) aren't needed to keep him company. He is simply not safe unsupervised.

Our home is a 100+ years old. The downstairs is three rooms separated by large arches so they are pretty open and then a regular doorway leading into the kitchen. The first room is the living room which includes "my chair" and my laptop. The second is what we call "the kid area" that has a couch, a loveseat, a tv, and the game system. It is where the littles spend most of their time. The third is the dining room which also has Robert's computer and music equipment. Dustin is either in a chair next to mine or at the dining room table next to Robert. At my chair, he can either watch TV with me, or can see the kid's tv. When he is with Robert he can play his DS game, color, draw etc. If I am in the kitchen he is always with me. He is very helpful in the kitchen and we also have a tv in there. (We are a tv family, don't judge!)

The other kids are getting more used to playing upstairs in their own rooms. This is a new occurrence. Since we have needed to be able to see the kids at all times, they really didn't play alone in their rooms much. Because of this, they actually had a pretty healthy fear of being alone and of the upstairs of the house. This was totally our fault for trying to keep constant tabs on them. I have worked hard to improve their playing habits. This has really improved over the last few months and I am loving the distance between them and Dustin as they can play happily in each other's rooms and even alone in their own! When they are upstairs I have ventured out to letting Dustin watch tv on the "kid couch" about 25 feet from me. Progress!

The other things I have ventured to doing is sending him on "errands". He can take the laundry to the laundry room, take clean laundry upstairs, or take the trash out . . . alone. I know this sounds crazy! My life is not normal!! He is only able to do this when the littles are NOT in the path of the errand. If they are it inevitably ends up in screaming, tattling, hitting and/or tears. (sometimes mine) I am SO not joking! Life is never boring around here.

This is so much a part of our normal routine that I am not even sure what real normal looks like anymore. We make it work for us.

Oh my ears . . .

I haven't written about Dustin for a while. For he most part he is doing well. He is still on constant supervision so he really can't get in much trouble. He has been doing some random chores and bathroom visits alone as long as he is not all wonky at that time, and if the littles are not near the chore or along the way. Some days are better than others. He is still throwing some wicked fits, but that is pretty much par for the course.

What is really driving me bonky is his constant talking. Robert deals with him in the morning and after school. I feel like I should take him as soon as I get home from work. He will NOT stop talking.

Mom, what are we having for dinner? Can I help? Ya kinow how my day was? You're the best mom ever. I love you mom. I had a bad dream. Do you wanna know about it? It was about sharks can you believe it? How was your day at work? Kinda looks like you had a bad day. Mom, Mom, Mom did you have a good lunch? Ya know what I had? Spaghetti. Can I have money for lunch tomorrow? I want french fries. We watched a video in class about mascots. All my friends laughed. Ok, I'll be quiet. Mom, I love you. Mascots are funny. Mom, you are the best. What are we having for dinner? Oh yeah, I forgot. Are you ignoring me? Dad said I could get the mail. There was alot. Mom, I have to pee. Hey, mom, I pooped a giant turd. I love you mom. Hey mom, can I have my DS? Hey, I forgot to ask you, Did you have a good day?

Seriously, that is like 3 minutes of questions. This lasts all night. I am not even joking. The weekends are worse. My ears just wanna hop of my head and run away. The worst part? He has to tell you about every other sound in the house. "Hey mom, the oven beeped." or "Did you hear McCartney scream?"

ARHHHGGHHHH!

Domestic Diva . . .

I am trying not to make this blog all about my domestic pursuits, but that is where I am right now. Maybe it is the winter, but I am all baout being productive around the house lately.

This weekend I made some meals for the week. Or at least did some of the prep. I made Mexican Lasgana for tomorrow night. It is one of the kid's favorites. I took pictures of the prep. . . cause, ya know, that's how I roll.

Dish lined with corn tortillas.

Layer of fat free refried beans.

Add hamburger cooked with mexican stewed tomatoes, cheese and more tortillas.

Then I made some quilted notecards that I have seen all around the web. I like the randomness of the fabric and I like that it looks good with imperfect sewing. I am bundling them in groups of 4's with envelopes for the conference. Cute?

Sewing . . .

I am selling my wares at a conference in a few weeks. I decided I needed to make some rice heat bags. I thought they would be simple and I love mine so I thought it would be nice. I also think they would be nice for weight therapy and I may take one for each kid for our LONG drive to Florida in 69 days. . .

I started with some soft flannel that I bought in fat quarters. It was only $1.29 a peice at JoAnns. I cut them in about 2/3's.

Then I turned them right sides together and sewed down two sides leaving the top open. I turned the unfinished edges inside and sewed two straight lines down the square to make 3 channels.

I bought a huge 25 pound bag of rice at Sam's Club tonight for like $8. I used a cup and filled the channels about 3/4's full of rice. (I made 6 bags tonight and it barely looks like I touched the amount of rice I bought)

I then sewed the top shut. I took a picture with my hand so you could see the size.

I made 6 rice heat bags in a half hour. Nice! I used the other 1/3 of the fat quarters and sewed them to another piece and made yet another bag. No fabric was wasted in the making of this project. :)



I thought that floding them and tying them with a ribbon would be a cute way to sell them at the conference. I will also attach an instruction tag to the top .

What do you think?

Oh Snuggie, you have disappointed. . .

My kids have wanted a snuggie forever. Last Christmas my mom bought them new robes and I convinced them that they were Snuggie's with belts. They wore them backwards, and that worked for a few months, then they got smart. Dang.

This year, the assistant director at the daycare got them both a character Snuggie for Christmas. They were so excited! They came home, ripped them out of the boxes and proceeded to try to walk around in them. Of course since it is simply a banket with sleeves, open in the back, they just fell off them. They were sorely disappointed. They ended up clipping them together in the back with chip clips. Too funny, but not really effective.

Last weekend I saw the snuggie's hanging on the back of their bedroom doors all lonely and forsaken and I decided to fix them.



I turned them inside out and sewed a diagonal line from the neck to about halfway down the snuggie. This way it was likea long pull over sweatshirt. I then cut the large triangle off the snuggie and turned it inside out. I decided to be funny and sew the large triangle together and make a long pointed "night cap" as a joke. I put it on McCarntey's head and she loved it! Harrison started whining saying, "Where is mine!?"


They look like little snuggie wizards. They have worn them almost every night since. I have a hard time not giggling everytime I walk by them!

The hubs, AOL, and old buddies . . .

Have I ever shared how I met my wonderful, adorable hubs? No? I don't think I have. I rarely do because people automatically assume the worst.

Do you remember the early days of AOL? I'm talking dial-up, $400 minute overage fees, snerts and chat rooms. I was an addict. I can vividly remember when they decided to go with unlimited minutes each month, I thought I was in heaven! I really only chatted in one room . . . the Indiana Room in the Town Square area. I was there so often I came to know all the regulars and they knew me . . . if only by Sherific (it's been around that long) "We" the regular visitors to the Indiana Room had monthly parties at a wonderful bar in downtown Indy called The Cozy as well as here in Fort Wayne. There we met face to face and drank alot of liquor! LOL I decided to go down to Indy for the first time one weekend in January of 1997.

My dad had recently passed and during the long illness a long time boyfriend had shown his true colors. We had broken up and I was definitely not looking to a boyfriend, and I was definitely not trolling AOL for a husband. That night I spent a long part of the evening talking to Robert (Sssnakepit was his screename) and laughing and having a great time. He had been drinking only soda that particular night being the designated driver. He had a soda with a bunch of cherries on top. Every time he would turn around to talk with someone I would eat a cherry and put the stem back in the glass. Eventually I ate them all and he laughed when he found a glass full of stems.

We spoke on line throughout that week. All the while I thought he was married. He thought I was married because I had intentionally worn my grandmother's wedding set to the bar. We were just chatting as friends. I found out he was coming to the party in Fort Wayne the next weekend. He asked if I had any cute girlfriends. I laughed saying something about his wife not appreciating that comment. He said he wasn't married. I then said, "What am I chopped liver?" And he said something about my husband. That's when I laughed and said I wasn't married either.

I went to the Fort Wayne party. I was only there a short time because I had a date with another guy that night. Shhhh! When I left the bar at the AOL party, I slipped a jar of cherries into his coat pocket. The next week on line he confused he was smitten.

We began dating the following week on his birthday. The next week I had a horrible case of food poisoning and my mom was out of town. He came up (from Anderson) to take care of me and he never left. We were married that August.

He still swears that he was done with women when he met me. He never thought he would marry again. He says the only reason he was initially interested in me was that I was onery and stole his cherries! He thought that bringing him a bottle of cherries and slipping it in his pocket was funny. The rest as they say is history . . .

Fast forward to facebook. A couple months ago, another "old reg" from the Indiana Room found Robert. She decided to start a group for all us old regs hoping that for each new person we added they would've remained in contact with another couple. We added a couple a people each week. Last week it exploded! It has been a RIOT seeing how everyone grew up, grew old and has families! We were not the only AOL Indiana Room couple that married and it is neat to see all the kids that have sprung up from that room. Some of us have even uploaded old pictures from the parties "back in the day". Too fun!! As someone said on the wall of the group today . . . "Facebook will never be the same."

Robert and I at The Cozy in 1997 for the Christmas Party.