Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Fresh Start . . .

(my) Tattoo by Zeke Edwards @ New Republic Tattoo Fort Wayne, IN

I have read numerous blogs lately about starting your kid's day fresh each day.  One was a question asked on Smiles and Trials, and four others were mommas opining that giving kids a fresh slate daily was a difficult task.  A couple were even questioning whether it was possible or a good thing.  

This is something that I wholeheartedly believe in for a number of reasons.  The most pressing reason is that I am selfish!  I want that clean slate for myself as well!  I make mistakes.  I get frustrated with myself.  I am the first one that needs to forgive myself.  If I allow my self a clean slate to start each day, then why can't I give it to my children?  Of course we need to start fresh. There is no need to revisit and stress over past decisions.  Wishing that we could change the previous days events is not getting me anywhere.  I need to move forward and make new and better decisions that allow me to move forward instead of looking back.

Forgiveness is freeing. There is something about a good night's sleep that allows me to wake up renewed and see things in a different perspective.  It allows me to distance myself from the trauma and look at it with new eyes.  It is liberating to take that eraser and wipe clean the cobwebs and the stress from the day before and look at things with a new and bright hope.  It allows me to drop the chains that bound me to the "crap" of the day before and embrace day of new possibilities.  I can better process what happened the day before it I allow myself some distance from it and look at it in an unemotional state.  For me it is not enough to JUST forgive, I must also let  go of the pain, frustration and/or drama it cost me in order to fully embrace the future.

I believe it is what God does for me.  I believe that the blood of Jesus wipes away my sins.  I believe that if I am freely given that grace then it is my responsibility to grant it to others. My children make their own decisions just as I do.  Their sins are no greater than mine.  We should be willing to grant that grace.  It serves no purpose to hold on to the crap from the day before and allow it take up space in your heart.  Allowing this just gives anger and resentment a place to grow.

In the case of my son, he is "broken".  The early trauma he experienced was life changing.  Even if he did not have prenatal brain damage due to alcohol consumption while pregnant, the trauma he experienced is enough to rock anyone's world.  Yes he makes his own decisions.  Yes, sometimes they are deliberate.  Yes, sometimes they are made to hurt others.  Is he capable of not making those choices? Maybe.  But each day should be a chance to prove it is possible to make better choices.  If I don't believe he is capable of that, how is he supposed to believe he is capable of that!

I have been on a journey recently and have taken classes in Reiki.  I just finished my second  certification and will be continuing my education and receiving a Master Reiki Certification.  The Reiki principles have resonated deeply within me and I have embraced them wholly.   They are :

Reiki Principles
Just for Today, Let Go of Anger.
Just for Today, Let Go of Worry
Just for Today, Do your work honestly.
Just for Today, Be Kind to all Living things.
Just for Today, Give Thanks for your many Blessings.

If you would like to know more about Reiki and energy work, you can visit Reiki.org  or Reiki for Chistians.
For me, Reiki is about pulling strength from God and allowing him to work through me for the greatest good.  It is not about me, it is about being in tune with that energy and allowing God to use me as he wishes.  It has given me a peace and a sense of oneness with God and myself.  It has definitely made me look at each moment in the here and now and not to focus on past anger and worry.  I have to remind myself daily that worry has no place in my present.  Giving that  clean slate helps dismiss all that previous garbage and ocus on the present.  

1 comment:

GB's Mom said...

Beautiful post!