Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Where are we . . .

Where are we? I ask myself that often.

Dustin is nearly 17. He is still very much a 5 year old. His early trauma combined with Fetal Alcohol and mental illness has taken the opportunity to be a 17 year old out of his hands. He will never drive a car or likely live on his own. We are still dealing with the impulsivity of FAS on a daily basis. The scars from his early life are apparent. The attachment issues are constantly rearing their ugly heads. We go from wanting 6000 hugs a day to hating us and wishing we were not his family in 0-60 seconds. He thinks we can and will "just throw him away". It breaks my heart. It makes me angry both at him and for him. While I know he is unable to control and process his issues, it is frustrating.

Our plan is to be his family forever. Our plan is to care for him until we cannot. How's that for ambiguity? It is impossible for us to know what the future holds. He is changing every day. I think as the littles get older it is becoming easier to care for him and his needs. It is more of a group effort and I don't fret about them being so vulnerable as much as when they were toddlers.

If there becomes a point where we are unable to care for him in our home, we will still be committed to him as a family. He will forever be our son. It is what it is.


scissorbill said...

God bless you and your family!

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Miz Kizzle said...

Well put. You write very movingly about your family's challenges. I wish you posted more often.
And three cheers for Modem Router!

Baggage said...

Very much how I feel about my Bug.