Controversial . . .

I have not been very controversial here for some time. I have given up on the political talk here because it is just not worth the hassle. This is probably not the one thing to jump back on the controversial bandwagon, and honestly it may not be very well written, but I feel like I need to get some of this stuff out of my head, so here goes . . .

I live in the town that dear little Aliahna Lemmon was murdered in. I heard about her being missing just before leaving for church on Christmas Eve. I was disheartened and worried like any normal person would be. It tugged at my heart that this child was missing during the holidays and it wore on me the entire Holiday weekend. When it was finally found that she was murdered by a family friend I was sickened. Even before we heard all the gruesome details, I was sickened that this child's life was taken from her. I of course hugged my kids a bit tighter and gave them many more kisses that weekend.

Within a very short time people were not just horrified that this man monster had done this, but they began saying that the family was to blame. Almost immediately people began to point fingers at the mother for allowing her children to be watched by this man, for living in this trailer park that housed 15 sex offenders, for not taking care of her kids during her flu, on and on and on. When did we as a society become so very judgmental? When did we stop feeling empathy for the victims families and start immediately digging for dirt on them?

I will not argue here about the family and the choices they made. I will not argue if they are guilty of putting her in harms way. I will not purpose to know anything about that situation as I do not live in that woman's shoes. She does, and I would hate to be in those shoes tonight as she sits through her daughter's memorial service. Is she blameless, probably not. But I am not the justice system. I could have very well been the one to make those terrible mistakes. I would hate for someone to be searching the internet for all my known associates, their associates and all my family members looking for the very bad seeds. I am certain there may be a few spoiled ones in my bunch as well.

I am also not going to judge the ones looking for these things. This is the day and age of media. You can do whatever you want. If indeed there was some issue and someone needs to be brought into the situation, more power to you. You have that right. I have a child who's life was saved because someone chose to butt into the issues happening in his birth family's home. I am pleased that someone brought that situation to light. I am by no means saying mind your own business.

I guess the issue I am having is that people were so very quick to villainize the mother. There was a very obvious villain in this scenario, it was Michael Plumadore. He confessed. He led police and FBI investigators to the several places where he had disposed of her remains. A local journalist who had spoken to MP several times during the search was astounded that he had been fooled by his sincerity. The family continues to say they are distressed that he could've done this, that they had been duped by his kindness and his gentleness. Is it really so hard to believe that this monster had fooled them? Do you really want to believe that this mother knowingly and willingly put her kids in his care knowing he was looney? Does that makes more sense to you? It doesn't me.

Then we have the whole sexual predator angle. It is spoken about in every conversation there is about the murder. There has yet to be anything that has told us that Aliahna was sexually molested. We may never know. Dear Lord, how I hope that was not the case. But the sexual predator part of the equation came into the picture because there were so many living in this small trailer park. Does that need some attention? Sure. Did the mom know? Yes she did. From reports, she had no other choices. She seemed to be in a cycle of poverty. I will not argue if that ws something she could've fixed or something she chose. What I am saying is that some people have no choices. When you are caught in that world, there seems to be no escape. Some people know much else and everything they deal with seems to be the norm and there is nothing else. Once again I am not defending, I am just thinking out loud.

I guess what I struggle most with is the fact that we have no idea what living that life is like unless we have been there. Pointing fingers and shaming will not fix the situation. I think the people that are hollering the loudest about the situation saying that the mother should've made better choices are likely the same ones who would use words like welfare whore, white trash and lazy but will talk about how Aliahna should've had a better life? How do you think that would happen without public assistance? The ones having such a problem with her life and choices are the same ones who would likely be against public assistance programs. This child was born in a bad situation.

If you want to point fingers . . . where were you? What do you do when you see a mom struggling in the grocery? What do you do when a child at your kid's school needs a warm winter coat? Do you donate to the Food Bank? Do you give to that Salvation Army bucket? The people who villainize the parents who cannot take care of their children tend to forget that by you not supporting public programs you are not only punishing the adults but the kids by default.

Lets be pissed. Lets be angry. Lets make sure that laws are changed. But lets get angry at the one who committed this horrible crime, not the ones who have to live with it forever. I am sure they hate themselves enough for all of us.