Friday, March 25, 2011

Foster Care newbies . . .

There is a blog that I have in my google reader that I am really not sure how I came across it. Do you have those? They really don't fit in with your typical reads, and you are not quite sure how you got referred there, or why you ever added them in the first place? In my experience, I typically remove them from my reader if they are not "my cup of tea", but some remain because they have good insights and write well even if they are not truly a "part of my world".

There is one in blog in particular who has now moved into a territory I know far too much about. This particular family has a really good heart and has felt called to be foster parents. I recall all too well the yearning of wanting help kids in need and to become a part of a system that helps kids find a way back to a home that is now healthy or to a forever new home. I remember the excitement and the anticipation of being able to be a part of the solution. Do all you foster parents remember that? The point where you thought the system helped? Before you realized how terribly broken the system is? When you thought you could keep your young children safe? When you thought your family would be touted as "saviors" instead of being ostracized for being different even by your own family?

While I still encourage them to do what they feel called to do, I just think they would want a dose or reality. I would've LOVED to go into foster care with a heads up that all is not peachy keen. I would've LOVED someone to tell me that social workers lie. They you don't get the whole story. I wish someone had told me that I CANNOT make a child go to church who refuses. I wish someone would've told me that not everyone involved in the system is on MY side. I would've LOVED to go into fostering with my eyes wide open. Perhaps I could've kept my child safe from a perpetrator put into my home without my knowledge. Perhaps I would've known what questions to ask. Perhaps I would've not felt so very cheated by the system I thought was helping the children with my help. I could've be prepared.

Sometimes that dose of reality is a bitter pill to swallow. This family thinks it is a stumbling block placed in the way by Satan. Maybe it is a learning opportunity placed in their way by God. Maybe He wants them to slow down and learn before they do what they are truly called to do.


Anonymous said...

You know I don't do the religious side of things, but I think the time we spent waiting for a placement and increasingly opening our eyes through reading blogs and being involved in other parts of our lives made us much better foster parents than we would have been if we'd gotten a placement as soon as we could have. I also think I benefited from not thinking of myself in such high terms, so I didn't have so far to fall. Instead, I hoped to be able to accomplish a little and have been happy with my small successes, mostly because I've been very lucky.

Sheri said...

And you rock Thorn! You have done an amazing job and I am thrilled for you and the little one! :) ♥

FosterAbba said...

I wish that an experienced foster parent had said something to us before we started.

I read a TON of blogs before we started, and I honestly didn't believe that it could be as bad as people said it was. We just figured it was "Internet Amplification Syndrome" where unhappy people write about how miserable their lives are.

I wish I had listened.