MRI update first, I am by no means a radiologist, but I took a peek and the MRI films that they gave us to take to the doctor and Robert's left hip looks strangely like the right one did on the MRI from February. If I was a betting woman that means that he is suffering once again from necrosis, meaning the bone marrow is dying. The real question is . . . will it self correct like last time with NO weight bearing, or will it continue to die and require a hip replacement? The good thing, I think to this untrained eye that the right hip looks healthy. We see the doctor next Thursday.
So, on to the topic at hand. I think I may have broken Harrison. Okay, do you adoptive parents who also have biological kids feel differently when your bio-kids have issues than when the adopted ones do? Like I have no issue with telling people that Dustin has all these issues, but when it comes to the behaviors or issues Harrison has I get all flustered and almost embarrassed. Like one reflects directly one me and the other I have an excuse for. Oh Lord, that sounds so bad. Do you get what I mean? I may be horrible for admitting it, but it is true.
Harrison went on meds a year and a half ago for ADD. He was struggling with paying attention and being obedient in school. He was physically unable to be still. He was becoming a problem child. Even though he could repeat everything the teacher said, he was driving everyone else around him nuts. I have no problem with medication. I will not hesitate to give my child chemical assistance to help him be successful. The first med we tried worked fabulously. We have increased the dosage 2 times and he is still on a low dose for his weight.
Ah weight. Since he started the med he has not eaten well. I know these meds affect appetite and we tried everything we thought of to increase his intake but he is super stubborn. He has always been a grazer since he was little, but some days he will not eat breakfast or lunch and will not eat dinner until late right before bed. It is getting worse. We are now dealing with refusal to eat and almost an aversion to certain textures. For the past few days he is absolutely refusing to swallow. He cannot do it. I am super frustrated and scared for him. He has to eat. The pediatrician has told me before he will not starve himself, but it seems like it is getting beyond that point. I am afraid he isn't getting nourishment and he is getting more grumpy because his body is hungry. I have ignored it, given positive reinforcement, bribed . . . everything I can think of.
We are also dealing with peeing of the pants. I know, like I need more pee in my life. He was a LATE potty trainer because he couldn't care less about having wet pants or a load in his pants. He wouldn't even tell you he was wet. Didn't even care. We are STILL dealing with peeing of the pants at daycare. Oh my Lord. I am so tired of telling him to go to the bathroom, and I am so tired of telling the teachers to send him all the time. He still pees at least 3 times a week maybe more. I think this is directly related to the stress of social interactions and his immaturity. Maybe I am simply over thinking it all. Today he peed twice and never told anyone. I didn't realize it until he changed for the pool and handled me wet drawers, and when he was getting undressed for the shower and gave me wet undies for the laundry.
Today I decided I wouldn't give him his pill so that he would eat. Nope. Not only did he not eat, but he acted like a fool on the field trip to the pool. I was super embarrassed and really frustrated. He is so stubborn he refuses to do anything I ask of him. I have broken him. I have no earthly idea what to do.
I know I was just complaining about my kids a few weeks ago, and I promise things are getting better at home, but I don't believe these things Harrison is dealing with are simply behaviors. Do you? I think they are some . . . issues, for lack of a better word. Have any ideas on how to handle them? Think he has some OCD like me that is manifesting differently? Think he has some sensory stuff?
I'll try anything. I'll embrace any and all suggestions.
Anniversary//Light The World: Day 16
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