Thursday, July 23, 2009

Maybe I am extra sensitive right now . . .

MRI update first, I am by no means a radiologist, but I took a peek and the MRI films that they gave us to take to the doctor and Robert's left hip looks strangely like the right one did on the MRI from February. If I was a betting woman that means that he is suffering once again from necrosis, meaning the bone marrow is dying. The real question is . . . will it self correct like last time with NO weight bearing, or will it continue to die and require a hip replacement? The good thing, I think to this untrained eye that the right hip looks healthy. We see the doctor next Thursday.

So, on to the topic at hand. I think I may have broken Harrison. Okay, do you adoptive parents who also have biological kids feel differently when your bio-kids have issues than when the adopted ones do? Like I have no issue with telling people that Dustin has all these issues, but when it comes to the behaviors or issues Harrison has I get all flustered and almost embarrassed. Like one reflects directly one me and the other I have an excuse for. Oh Lord, that sounds so bad. Do you get what I mean? I may be horrible for admitting it, but it is true.

Harrison went on meds a year and a half ago for ADD. He was struggling with paying attention and being obedient in school. He was physically unable to be still. He was becoming a problem child. Even though he could repeat everything the teacher said, he was driving everyone else around him nuts. I have no problem with medication. I will not hesitate to give my child chemical assistance to help him be successful. The first med we tried worked fabulously. We have increased the dosage 2 times and he is still on a low dose for his weight.

Ah weight. Since he started the med he has not eaten well. I know these meds affect appetite and we tried everything we thought of to increase his intake but he is super stubborn. He has always been a grazer since he was little, but some days he will not eat breakfast or lunch and will not eat dinner until late right before bed. It is getting worse. We are now dealing with refusal to eat and almost an aversion to certain textures. For the past few days he is absolutely refusing to swallow. He cannot do it. I am super frustrated and scared for him. He has to eat. The pediatrician has told me before he will not starve himself, but it seems like it is getting beyond that point. I am afraid he isn't getting nourishment and he is getting more grumpy because his body is hungry. I have ignored it, given positive reinforcement, bribed . . . everything I can think of.

We are also dealing with peeing of the pants. I know, like I need more pee in my life. He was a LATE potty trainer because he couldn't care less about having wet pants or a load in his pants. He wouldn't even tell you he was wet. Didn't even care. We are STILL dealing with peeing of the pants at daycare. Oh my Lord. I am so tired of telling him to go to the bathroom, and I am so tired of telling the teachers to send him all the time. He still pees at least 3 times a week maybe more. I think this is directly related to the stress of social interactions and his immaturity. Maybe I am simply over thinking it all. Today he peed twice and never told anyone. I didn't realize it until he changed for the pool and handled me wet drawers, and when he was getting undressed for the shower and gave me wet undies for the laundry.

Today I decided I wouldn't give him his pill so that he would eat. Nope. Not only did he not eat, but he acted like a fool on the field trip to the pool. I was super embarrassed and really frustrated. He is so stubborn he refuses to do anything I ask of him. I have broken him. I have no earthly idea what to do.

I know I was just complaining about my kids a few weeks ago, and I promise things are getting better at home, but I don't believe these things Harrison is dealing with are simply behaviors. Do you? I think they are some . . . issues, for lack of a better word. Have any ideas on how to handle them? Think he has some OCD like me that is manifesting differently? Think he has some sensory stuff?

I'll try anything. I'll embrace any and all suggestions.


Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

I get it if that helps.
Genea's psych has always told parents to feed the kid before giving the med in the am. He will give an 8 hour extended release tab so they are off it by dinner. If the kid has serious problems from that he will give a short acting 4 pm dose. He also says to not worry about meals. If kid is hungry, let them eat. So that is my first thought, check the dosing schedule to see if tweaking it might help.

Torina said...

While I don't have the bio kids thing going on, I break my kids all the time. T didn't eat hardly a thing for the first year we had her. When she did, she would vomit it all over me. So I bought some Ensure and some Pedialyte so she wouldn't die and I made her take vitamins (gummy vitamins, delicious, mama likey). Eventually we switched her to Stra terra and her appetite immediately picked up. She is still alive but I worried for a long time that she wouldn't make it either.

I don't think it is weird that you are bearing the burden of Harrison's issues. I always think that it must be so much harder for birth parents because it is your genes. My mom cried when she found out about my stuff because she said, "I did this to you"...but like I said to her and I will say it to you: biology is not your can't control it. You care and are doing the best you can and that, truly, is what matters.

King said...

Okay, I need to get ready for the barbs and arrows that will follow this comment.

Personally, I'm against giving outwardly normal kids drugs, meaning, kids that do not have mental and/or social defiecienceis.

Sure, it's harder to raise them. But I firmly believe that if a kid's normal, I don't need to be messing with their psyche by pumping him or her full of barbiturates.

I prefer to take on the added burden of getting past the terrible "whatever age" it is and raising my child while they use their brain to full capacity. Sure it's tough sometimes, but after raising almost half a dozen with no drugs, I have a healthy, happy, and well-adjusted throng of kiddies.

Sheri said...

Essie and Torina thanks ;adies!

And King, thanks. No barbs or arrows here! Problem is that my son was not outwardly "normal" and I thought long and hard about his issues before giving him drugs, and discussed it with my very conservative ped first. Maybe it is my family history of OCD and other issues that I saw in him more so than simple ADD that did it for me. (For me medication was literally a lifesaver even at 28!)

I suppose my point is that every situation is different. I totally respect your comment and appreciate it even! Thanks always for sharing.

zunzun said...

I don't have any bio ones but I actually get it too...only that for me it was a pre and post adoption thing. Hard to explain but mostly when she was my foster child somehow it was easy to disassociate enough from her issues whereas after adoption I felt like they all somehow reflected on me or that I may have caused them or something.