Fetal Alcohol at it's finest . . .

Yesterday the kids did not have school. I was not feeling well so I stayed home. Last week Dustin missed one day of school because he wasn't feeling well. I suppose that's not exactly true. Dustin has virtually no pain receptors or malfunctioning ones at best. He doesn't really "know" when he isn't feeling well. We typically don't know he is sick until he is hacking and coughing to sniffling or fevering. Then, he "knows" he is sick because we say, "You sound horrible." That is when the outward "faking" begins. He "knows" he is supposed to feel bad, but he really doesn't so he acts sick. Last week was one of those hacking and coughing times and he stayed home one day and begged to return to school the next. He's been sounding well ever since. However, I'm not so sure he is "feeling" well or better stated, I'm not sure sure his body is back to 100% whether he "knows" it or not.

He's been really "off" for a few days. This weekend was lots of whining and grumpiness. yesterday was AWFUL. His routine was messed up because of the school cancellation and he kept saying the "school people are bad for not letting him go to school". So he was angry about that and just about everything else. At one point in the afternoon I asked him to leave his sister alone. He stormed upstairs. I told him if he was going to storm away while I was talking to him, he could simply stay in his room for a while. He did and he came back down a little later with a much better attitude. . . briefly.

The remainder of the evening was much of the same. I could not get warm for the life of me. I kept getting chilled and I thought I was feeling a breeze coming down the steps. I sent Dustin upstairs to make sure all the windows are shut (we sometimes open the bathroom window because the upstairs get incredibly hot) He said they were all shut. I chalked it up to not feeling well.

When Robert went upstairs to put the kids to bed, we found a mess. Dustin had broken his window while he was mad at me earlier! There was however, very little glass on the floor of his room, I figured it had went outside onto the roof. I went upstairs to clean up and secure the window for the night and I discovered that he had removed most of the glass and HIDDEN it in his closet. He actually thought I wouldn't know he broke the window if he hid the pieces of glass! That is a brain that has missed object permanence. That is a brain that is affected be prenatal exposure to alcohol. That is my life.

Later in the evening Dustin and I were talking about how he should've told me because it was cold in the house. These were his exact words, "Maybe I should make a fire in my room tonight to keep warm." YIKES! Now, in all likelihood he is talking in imaginary terms and is being silly in the way a 4 year old would be. But, knowing that his brain is damaged from prenatal alcohol exposure coupled with the fact that he is definitely "off-kilter" lately, I ain't taking no chances! The boy slept on the floor next to my bed last night. There is NO WAY he is going to be unsupervised at all for a even little while.

I hate that I have to "fear" my son of more precisely, the choices he may make. I hate that he is so "damaged" by the simple fact that his bio-mother was selfish and drank while he was growing within her. I hate that I can't trust him to be unsupervised. And, I hate that I have to pay for a new pane of glass. I hate Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. . . but I love my boy.

Too cute . . .

Enchanted is too cute! In this scene Pip (the chipmunk) is trying to tell the prince that his advisor is trying to kill Giselle (the princess-to-be) by giving her a poison apple that the prince's mother gave him. Hysterical!

H-E-A-V- Y . . .

A really HEAVY snow fell last night and continues this morning. The flakes were incredibly large and looked like they belonged on a movie set. I am the person who shovels while the snow if falling so that it is more manageable. Last night I went out 4 or 5 times to shovel as the snow was falling. I was so happy that I was able to do that because this snowfall was so heavy that by the time this morning rolled around it would've weighed a ton! I shoveled at 1:00 in the morning and I still had about 4 inches to shovel when I woke up. The kids are home from school and I am not feeling real well, in fact I think someone set a flu-bomb in our house. The kids have a croopy cough and are grumpy and irritable. I feel like crap. We are gonna lay around and enjoy a day off. Except for another shoveling in a couple hours. . .

A glimpse . . .

Mr. Henry sent me some pictures from Iraq . . .




Keep him and all our troops in your thoughts . . . and oppose this horrid war.

Bowling Fever . . .

We took the kids bowling last night because Harrison had his BEST WEEK EVER at Kindergarten. They had a blast! Watch how slow McCartney's ball is. It took FOREVER for her ball to get down the lane. . .

The stark differences . . .

As of yesterday, I am the proud owner of a teenage son. I have always noticed the huge differences in his interests since the first day we brought him home, but it gets even more noticeable the older he gets. I have a 13 year old who wanted to visit Build-a-bear more than just about anything else for his birthday. So grandma came and picked him up Saturday to take him to build himself a stuffed animal. The Cheetah he made hasn't left his side since, and he has began to treat it like it is alive. He has always given inanimate objects "life", but it has become worse as of late. He adores it, and I hate to threaten to take it away, but it is so very unhealthy for him to become obsessed with something in that way with all of his schizophrenic tendancies. We actually had to limit the time he can spend with the Cheetah (and by the way, thanks grandma for the karate outfit for the Cheetah, now Dustin is the "karate master" chopping everything in site)

He has few reading skills. He cannot ride a bike. He enjoys everything from Blues Clues to Star Wars. He is not allowed to touch our animals since he tends to hurt them. He must have an alarm on his bedroom door so that we know when he is out and must be supervised. He cannot do much of anything without supervision. He is not your "average" 13 year old.

He actually had Lilo and Stitch birthday cake. Try to sell that one to your "average" 13 year old. But, he was happy and that's what mattered. I am finished trying to make him into a different child than he is. Last night at Meijer he asked me if he could still like kid shows. He was so relieved when I told him it didn't matter how old he was, he could choose to watch what made him happy, that mom and dad okays. (Exception to Power Rangers etc. that make him karate chop everything in site, and the one time I caught him watching Real Sex on HBO-which was the last night he ever had cable in his room)

Right now Dustin is probably about a 5 year old trapped in the body of a 13 year old. He still has the teenage outbursts of anger including name hollering and lots of storming away from his parents, but he is developmentally a 5 year old. I love my klutsy, lanky, baby-fit throwing 13 year old. He is truly a soft-hearted and friendly little guy who is much happier now than he was 7 years ago when he walked into our home. We make mistakes, we say things we shouldn't and we let anger ruin teachable moments sometimes. We laugh when we really shouldn't and we cry when we should be holding it together. But, we love him whole-heartedly. We chose him and he is ours! For better or for worse.

Another drawing . . .

Harrison calls this one . . . No More War

How do I love thee . . .

Since I forgot to post about my dear, sweet husband on his birthday recently, I decided I would do a Valentine's Day Post, even though we don't typically celebrate this very commercial holiday. Tonight in celebration, I am taking the kids to a skating party and he is staying home with Dustin . . . exciting huh?

So, here's 37 things I love about Robert . . .

1. His creativity.
2. He does most of the dishes in our house. (I am really bad at it)
3. The way he interacts with Dustin.
4. The way he wakes the kids up in the morning ( with humor and lots of love)
5. His gray, long hippie hair.
6. His passion for peace.
7. His liberal perspective.
8. His humor.
9. His singing voice.
10. His photoshop skills.
11. The way he can explain something to me so I can understand it. (and the kids too)
12. His willingness to explain things to me.
13. He loves to share his knowledge AND his opinion.
14. All the trivial information that is in his head.
15. His love for the Beatles.
16. His love for the kids.
17. His love for me.
18. His grandma's chicken and dumplings recipe.
19. The way he makes me try new foods. (mmmmm, sushi)
20. His love for reading.
21. His thirst for knowledge.
22. The way he immerses himself in a project.
23. His determination.
24. His values.
25. His love of music.
26. His addiction to Lay's Classic Potato chips and popcorn
27. He will eat my cooking.
28. He chose to be a stay-at-home daddy.
29. He cleans my house.
30. He humors me when I order him around.
31. He listens to me (most of the time).
32. He deals with my OCD.
33. He deals with my indecisiveness.
34. He cares about people.
35. He cares about animals.
36. The way he loves his cat (much ot his own dismay)
37. He chose me.

I would like to thank the director . . .

My first oscar . . . I mean award.

Angie has bestowed upon me the Chaste Kiss Award for visiting and posting and being an blog-o-friend. Thanks dear! I would like to pass it along to Kari (a fellow adoptive mom with kids just like Dustin, without whom this journey would be far more difficult) , Patty (taking a little leave, and I miss her), and Jessica Rabbit (my once rival whom now I understand and respect).

Kiss, Kiss ladies!

Conversations . . .

Me: Harrison, have you met your new principal yet?
Harrison: Yep
Me: Is his name Mr. Shaeffer?
Harrison: It's DOCTOR Shaeffer.
Me: Oh yes! I forgot.
Harrison: And he is BALD.
Me: Oh, I see.
Harrison: That means he doesn't have hair. Well, he does have arm-hair. His head is just bald.

The tide has turned . . .

I am still sitting in my bed with the laptop waiting very patiently til Harrison goes to sleep. He continues to attempt to engage me in conversation. I am really good at ignoring.


The following exchange just happened . . .

Harrison: I'm really really really hungry and thirsty.
Me: (silence)
Harrison: For real. Do you hear me?
Me: It's time for sleeping. Please close your eyes.
Harrison: But I'm really really REALLY thirsty.
ME: (silence)
Harrison: (after about 2 minutes) I hate you.
Me: ( giggling like a horrible mother)
Harrison: I really really REALLY do hate you.
Harrison: And STOP laughing. (throwing a pillow at me trying not laugh himself)

about 3 minutes pass . . . while I attempt not to keep giggling.

Harrison: (in the tiniest little voice) I really do. I mean I hate you.

Apparently he no longer wishes to have my company. Maybe daddy can get him to sleep.

I give up . . .

I surrendered tonight and laid with the kids while they tried to go to sleep. McCartney was out pretty quickly, after hollering at me for breathing too loudly, but Harrison was more difficult tonight. Finally, I took him to my bed because I couldn't lay in the top bunk with him, and he snuggled up close to me and said this:

Mommy, wouldn't it be funny if dogs had feathers? And Parrots had fur.
What if lizards had pig tails and dresses and little girls had scales.
How about if rhinos had mustaches and daddies had horns.
That would be funny wouldn't it?

Is that so cute? I love it. But man I wish they would go to bed by themselves before they turn 20 and I'm still sitting with them . . . .

Tidbits . . .

1. OBSERVATION: There's nothing like a scheduled day off with the hubby out of town to make one want to CLEAN the house. I love it!

2. CUTENESS: McCartney asked this question, "Mommy, when it stops snowing, can we buy a car without a lid?"

3. REALIZATION: I have decided once and for all that Starbucks on an empty stomach hurts my belly like nobody's business.

4. INFORMATION: NEVER make Rice Krispie Treats with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

Stressed out . . .

We are all really stressed out here at work today. I posted yesterday about Mr. Henry having to make his trip to Iraq today. I blogged about him many months ago when he enlisted in the air guard. At that time he as PROMISED that he would not have to go overseas. I told him and told him again that we all knew that wasn't the truth. But they PROMISED. It makes me sick to my stomach. It's one thing to make a decision to serve in the military when you know what you are getting into, it's another thing altogether to be lied to.

I am proud that he is serving his country. I am proud that he is doing his part in going to Iraq. I am sick that he was lied to in order to get him to enlist. Yesterday when he came into work to say good-bye, one of the boys said, "Mr. Henry, I didn't know you were a soldier!" My first thought was, "No he's not. He's a boy who needed money for school and got suckered into enlisting for the bonus." It makes me ill.

I watched my son sleeping last night and thought about Henry's mom sending him off to war. My thoughts and prayers all with all those famlies today who are missing their sons and daughters in Iraq. This stupid, illegal war has taken their babies and it's my hope they return unharmed. And for all those who don't get their baby returned safely, know that while I HATE this war, I support your babies who are doing their job and serving their country.

Crapppp - py . . . .

I got a call from Roebrt yesterady afternoon that our power went out. I called AEP and they said the estimated time for fixing it was 4:30pm. Woohooo. Robert called me back at 5:00 and it wasn't back on. I called again and it had been changed to 5:00am. Crap! The only thing I thought about was all the food in my fridge and my chest freezer. Zoinks! Luckily the church has a generator and we powered all the essentials . . . fridge, freezer, cable and computer. Essentials.

The kids and I went to stay at Nannies since it would be getting cold, and the generator was incredibly loud. The kids got to bed late and I slept on a very uncomfortable couch, but we were warm!

The power is back up and running this morning! Yeah!

I'm an idiot . . .

Yesterday I was vaccuuming out my car and I locked myself out. Thankfully I am always hot in the car aand I had left the passenger window down about 3 inches. A car full of kids drove up and a skinny tall guy got out. I said, "Hey! Would you mind sticking your skinny arm in my car and unlocking it?" It worked. Yeah me!

Godspeed . . .

Our dear friend, Mr. Henry will be leaving tomorrow for Iraq. He will be stationed in Tallil Air Force base. We wish him the best and hope to see him home real soon! I think he is going to try to set up a blog from Iraq, so I will let you all know when that happens.

Shrunken days . . .

Lately I feel like my days have shrunken to about 12 hours, of which I sleep about 7 hours away. I feel all frustrated and hurried. The house is a pit (hint,hint honey) and I am crazy! Work is NUTS right now as we are short staffed. Yesterday I was in just about every age group at one point or another. When I'm not running all over creation at work, I must find time to renew a bunch of people's CPR certifications AND begin working on our Week of the Young Child presentation. Agh! I must stop listing or I will go nuts!

I have recently discovered a blog by an adoptive mother that goes to my church. She is amazing and quite funny! Go on over and check out Kimberely's blog . . . you will laugh I promise. Her 100th post is hysterical! She and her husband just adopted the cutest little girl from Ethiopia. Go on over and say hello!

Amazing . . .

I have posted tons of video and photos lately. . . but this one HAD to be posted.

New spectacles . . .

Pay no attention to the eyebrows in need of plucking . . .

Our Saturday . . .

I took "the littles" to the Botanical Conservatory for Seuss on the Loose. It was really fun! The company that we bought our playground stuff at daycare from donated all the equipment for the playcenter to a local elementary school after the botanical gardens is done with it. Their stuff is SUPER cool and fits so well with the Suess theme. Harrison LOVED the giant cactus and McCartney just kept saying she was tired and sweaty. But, they had a blast. I posted a bunch more pics from our day over at our family site if ou care to take a gander.