The GOOD. It was a nice day. I left work early to take Dustin to a therapy appointment. I spoke to the therapist about how I can react to Dustin and his issues differently. We also spoke about how his behavior is effecting "the littles" and how I can stop some of that as well. Most of what she said I will incorporate into my daily parenting, some not so much. She is good, but she doesn't get what it is like to live with an FAS child. After the appointment we did the bi-weekly blood work and for the first time ever he was good with me. (usually he's great with Robert). I didn't even have to go into the lab room. We had a wonderful day running errands and doing a small bit of grocery shopping. He was happy and funny and a joy to be around.
We went to pick up "the littles" at daycare and he was very well behaved as well. Robert is sick in bed with a fever and I came home, put away groceries, made dinner and cleaned up with minimal issues from the kids. Super. However, about 20 minutes ago the BAD started. Dustin stormed up the stairs and slammed his door because I busted him putting things under his rug instead of picking them up. He is really mad at me. I'm letting him cool down before I tell him the consequences of his fit.
The UGLY. I have opened my mouth thinking I was asked to be honest by someone and inserted my foot. Either this person thought I was going to sugar coat my feelings, or they really had no idea that their actions effected me as they did. I should have just pushed it back down because I had already dealt with the issues and gotten over them. I thought we were "clearing our chests". Apparently not. I have never been one to sugar coat anything. I have very little tact. Pretty much what you see is what you get from me. I like to think that I am a very trusting and caring person who would give and give and give until it hurt if I considered you a friend and thought you needed it. Sometimes it gets me in trouble, but you know what? I'd do it again, just with less emotion. I trust too much sometimes. I let things go when I probably shouldn't. I have become more jaded over this past year, and I thought by sharing it would help heal. Maybe I was wrong.
The result. I will go on. My family is more important than stressing over something I cannot change. Years ago this would've devastated me. I have learned that you make your own choices and not coming to grips with your emotions can destroy you. I wish I would've smiled and said, "No problem.", but then again, that wouldn't have been me. What is left is between me and my God.
2 days ago