I have been blogging for nearly 6 years. I have gone through spurts where I blog numerous posts daily to only posting weekly. Sometimes I think no one is reading these and I should just stop and other times I don't care who is reading because I need this place to vent. Sometimes I worry about saying too much and other times I think I need to be honest for others who are going through the same thing. Sometimes I think what I am writing is falling on deaf ears, and then I get a fabulous comment that makes it all worth it.
Today is a day I really should not be blogging. I have a lot of things I really should not say.
I should not say that sometimes (especially after a weekend where he ran out 3 times) that I really don't want to be around my child. I should not say that it is hard. I should not say that I blame his birth mother for mucking up his whole existence and sometimes I hate her for it. I really should not say that although I love him to pieces and would not ever change the fact that we adopted him that I wonder what our life would've been like had we not.
I should not say that I hate my house. I hate plumbing issues. I hate the fact that we live paycheck to paycheck. I should not say that although I love my job and feel it is my calling that the pay rates SUCKS. I should not say that I envy those who do not have to worry about money and paying bills.
I should not say that I really want to crawl into bed and sleep for about 5 days straight. I should not say that I couldn't care less if my children eat chocolate cake for breakfast and wear the same clothes to school for 5 days if I could just sleep. I should not say that the husband should take care of things so I could just clock out for 5 days and do nothing. (mostly because then he would want a turn!)
What should you not say?
Posts
Congregatin'
4 days ago
4 comments:
I should not say that I totally relate to you. ;)
It sounds like you're having a hard time right now. We all get there. If I posted the drivel that runs through my head on such days I'd sound like I hate my life. But like you, I don't actually hate it, but parts of it do sucketh occasionally.
Hang in there. If you're anything like me something will happen in just a moment that will make you feel grateful, then guilty for not being grateful all the time. :)
I should not say that I share many of your feelings as well.
I should not say it, but I did.
I should not say that our blogs are about whateverthehell we want them to be and those who think I should research every F*&^%% thing should research every F*&^%% thing they say including their mean spirited comments. SMILE
I should not say that I totally feel that sometimes I am paying the price for someone's birth mother's choice to drink and drug.
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