Monday, April 11, 2011

Home, home with the rage . . .

We returned home on Sunday morning. It was a pretty good drive and we made great time, getting home in about 19 hours. Once again we avoided Georgia and for most of the night we were the only car on the road for miles.

As soon as we got home the fireworks started with Dustin. I began to hear the old choruses of "I don't want to live here." "Everyone here hates me." and "I need some fresh air" the last being code for I am going to run from the house. I have no idea why he felt like he did. He wasn't in trouble. He wasn't truly misbehaving that much. I suppose it is just something he does when he is here. I cannot figure it out.

I wanted to chat with him. Most of the time I get the same answer . . . "I don't know" which is both an avoidance AND mostly the truth. He truly has no idea why he does things or how he feels most of the time. But there are times when I get lucky and he is either lucid enough to give a good answer that gives me some insight into what he is thinking and how his mind works. This time I tried, I really did. I began asking him about Florida and how he behaved there. He did not scream once. He did not throw fits. He was fairly compliant. I reminded him of all these things. When I said, "You know, you can act like that here too." He began banging his head into the back of the chair and screaming, "Don't hurt me!" Holy Lord. he was completely off his rocker. I calmly talked to him about the windows being open this beautiful spring day and to knock it off. We chatted, but I got no real answers. He continued to throw things at the animals, holler and throw fits the remainder of the night. He annoyed his brother and sister and did everything he could to bother everyone in the house.

That is no joke. I got no real answers. I don't know why he does this. I don't know how his brain works. I love to be home after a wonderful vacation. I love to sleep in my own bed and love on my animals. I love to have things put in their place and get back into a routine. I really don't love seeing these behaviors again. I had no real ambition that they would be gone forever, but I really didn't miss them at all!

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