Redeux . . .

I wrote this post on September 24, 2009. After re-reading my post earlier about Schizophrenia I remembered this post so I wanted to share it. . .

Can you see it? . . .

Isn't it funny that when you step back and look at something you can see the signs coming from a mile away? But, when you are in the thick of it, you don't see the forest for the trees. I can sit and think about all the ways Dustin has changed over the last month or so and can see the psychosis and the delusional thinking creeping in. Not that I saw it while it was happening mind you. What is that called, Monday morning quarterbacking?

I can see it in his eyes in this picture taken Sunday. He is not quite with us. He is not in reality.

Compared with this picture earlier in August.

Can you see it? I can and it's not just the smile that is missing and it frightens me.


This was one of the times we had to increase his dose of Clozapine. In one of the comment Thorn said "You're right, he's gone flat." That's the perfect analogy. You can see it in his eyes and in his expression. I remember that day with the turkey leg. We had gone to a local festival and he really wanted that. He took 2 bites and threw it away. This is the child that eats 20+ pieces of pizza at the buffet. He was "not home". Shortly after we had to leave the festival because he was hollering that we never feed him.

I thought the illustrated the "not in reality" comment perfectly. The reason I wrote the Schizophrenic post earlier and wanted to find this post above is that TLC4evah just got a schizophrenia diagnosis for her son. I was directed there through Lisa and thought maybe she could use some info from others who have gone before. Jump over there and give her some love . . .