Perhaps . . .

I am at my limit with many things right now. Perhaps it is the full moon. Perhaps it is the antibiotic I am on interfering with my normal meds. Perhaps it is the fact that the tooth I had removed over a week ago STILL hurts like hell and the infection has moved into my ear and my head. Perhaps it is because that infection makes my head feel like exactly half of my scalp is sunburned and someone is sticking an ice pick in it randomly. The sinus infection that accompanies it makes me cough and when I do so, the ear that is irritated throbs and feels like the eardrum is going to shoot out of my head. Who knows? But any one of those reasons could make me lose my cool all of those together make one irritable mommy.

Yesterday when I was in Hancock Fabrics, McCartney saw the candy and decided to pitch a fit. She said, "Ooooh Mommy, can I have some Mentos?" I said, "No, we are heading home for dinner." She slammed the candy on the counter in front of the lady and said, "Ring it up." "I picked it up, put it back and she grunted something to me and proceeded to sit on the floor, back to the counter, cross her arms and whine and/or cry quite loudly until I was finished.

I ignored her. When I was done, I gently took her arm and told her to get up. I told her she would go straight to her room when she got home if she did not listen. She complied with a couple "I hate you's" under her breath. When we got in the car, I asked her if she saw kids that acted like that in the stores. She agreed that she hadn't and I asked her if she was that clerk, what would she think about that child on the floor. We had a good talk.

Earlier the kids were jumping on the love seat over in the kid's television area. I told them to stop 2x and they continued. I warned they would get sent upstairs and they continued. I got up walked over there and they continued. I sent them to bed.

A short time ago McCartney and Harrison got into a little altercation upstairs while watching a movie. Harrison hit her and she was wailing. We called them both downstairs. He came, she continued to holler upstairs at the top of her lungs. Of course we explained that it is not okay to hit at any time and I went upstairs to talk to her. She was FOUL. I escorted her to her bedroom, I attempted to talk to her about using her words, coming when she was called, not irritating her brother etc. all with hollering while I was talking. She continued to scream and when I shut her door she once again hollered , "I hate you".

I hollered. Nice. I am telling her that hollering is not acceptable and I respond by losing my crap. Stellar parenting.

My kids are terribly disobedient. I don't understand it. I have worked in daycare for 20 years. I should know what is okay and what is not. I have studied parenting styles and discipline techniques. I am raising a special needs child that needs creativity and routine and I cannot handle two neurotypical kids*. I always follow through with what I say. I do not give empty threats. I CANNOT make them listen to me, I cannot make them do what I say the first time and I they fear no discipline. They could care less.

I suppose I could be happy that I am raising independent kids with open minds and free spirits. But oh. my. word. I would love to just be obeyed once in a great while.

*please remember that I am irritable and slightly neurotic right now due to above mentioned issues. :)