I am probably opening myself up to a whole slew of criticism here , but I cannot let it go. . .
I have spoken about disruption and my ideas about it several times If you are tired of hearing my opinion just move along, but I truly mean to be respectful and I want to understand.
One of the blogs I read occasionally posts about children whose adoptive parents are needing to find them a new adoptive home for a myriad of reasons. Mostly their behaviors make them difficult to deal with in a particular family situation. This time it is about children who have been home for a week and a half and they have some significant, yet treatable, medical issues . . . here is part of the text. . .
We adopted a sibling group, brother (7-8 yo) and sister (4-5 yo), from Ethiopia. When we started this process with our agency in November 09, we stated we could take children with minor, correctable medical conditions... Two days after we passed Ethiopian court, when they became legally ours, we were told the little girl had a heart condition, Tetrology of Fallot, which is correctable with heart surgery. Her prognosis after surgery is a normal, healthy life... ...we were told he (the boy) had 4 cervical vertebrae fused, a condition which may or may not need treatment. As previously mentioned, we went into the adoptive process stating we could only accept minor, correctable medical conditions based upon our existing family situation...
We are looking for a Christian family to take these two children as their own. Back in Ethiopia, the Uncle made us promise that his niece and nephew would be raised in a Christian home and we want to honor his request. I know it seems as if one and a half weeks is not enough time to make this kind of decision but we feel certain that this is what needs to be done for the sake of everyone involved. We feel that it would be best to move the children into their new family as soon as possible so that they can begin bonding with their forever family sooner rather than later.
Wow. I truly mean to be respectful, I do, But HOW does a family do this? How can they go through all that they did to get these kids and treat it like a "return" at the store? I will never understand. What will these kids feel? How can they not feel broken, returnable, unimportant, disposable?
I have an adopted son who is VERY difficult and 2 bio kids with their own issues. I cannot return them or find them another home if they are not what I expected.
I understand they said they needed a certain thing, but medical issues can arise at any time. . . these children could've been involved in a very bad car accident and required medical intervention that far exceeds their expectations . . .
I guess what I am saying is that life is not predictable.
Adoptions cannot be ordered off a menu.
Help me understand.
(Out of respect for the other blog, I will not link to her site. I respect what she is doing in posting this, but I do not understand the intentions of the primary family. I am sorry I just don't)