Monday, February 18, 2008

The stark differences . . .

As of yesterday, I am the proud owner of a teenage son. I have always noticed the huge differences in his interests since the first day we brought him home, but it gets even more noticeable the older he gets. I have a 13 year old who wanted to visit Build-a-bear more than just about anything else for his birthday. So grandma came and picked him up Saturday to take him to build himself a stuffed animal. The Cheetah he made hasn't left his side since, and he has began to treat it like it is alive. He has always given inanimate objects "life", but it has become worse as of late. He adores it, and I hate to threaten to take it away, but it is so very unhealthy for him to become obsessed with something in that way with all of his schizophrenic tendancies. We actually had to limit the time he can spend with the Cheetah (and by the way, thanks grandma for the karate outfit for the Cheetah, now Dustin is the "karate master" chopping everything in site)

He has few reading skills. He cannot ride a bike. He enjoys everything from Blues Clues to Star Wars. He is not allowed to touch our animals since he tends to hurt them. He must have an alarm on his bedroom door so that we know when he is out and must be supervised. He cannot do much of anything without supervision. He is not your "average" 13 year old.

He actually had Lilo and Stitch birthday cake. Try to sell that one to your "average" 13 year old. But, he was happy and that's what mattered. I am finished trying to make him into a different child than he is. Last night at Meijer he asked me if he could still like kid shows. He was so relieved when I told him it didn't matter how old he was, he could choose to watch what made him happy, that mom and dad okays. (Exception to Power Rangers etc. that make him karate chop everything in site, and the one time I caught him watching Real Sex on HBO-which was the last night he ever had cable in his room)

Right now Dustin is probably about a 5 year old trapped in the body of a 13 year old. He still has the teenage outbursts of anger including name hollering and lots of storming away from his parents, but he is developmentally a 5 year old. I love my klutsy, lanky, baby-fit throwing 13 year old. He is truly a soft-hearted and friendly little guy who is much happier now than he was 7 years ago when he walked into our home. We make mistakes, we say things we shouldn't and we let anger ruin teachable moments sometimes. We laugh when we really shouldn't and we cry when we should be holding it together. But, we love him whole-heartedly. We chose him and he is ours! For better or for worse.

3 comments:

Psycho Mom said...

Wow, I like how you worded your post. The struggle of having a teenager who has the maturity of a 5 year old. It is so hard to remember that when we are annoyed with them. My Akila is also obsessed with stuffed animals, and I finally gave up trying to have her "outgrow" it. Realizing that she is more like a 3 year old than an 8 year old. I enjoy your blog and finally took the time to add a link to yours from mine. Enjoy the teenage years! Barb

Carol said...

Awwwwww... Sweet! Happy Birthday to Dustin!

Angie said...

Gee, you sound like regular human parents to me. Guess we all worry though. Happy Birthday to Dustin. You gave him the best present, him being able to be himself.