Thursday, August 30, 2007

Dust-a-rooni . . .

Yesterday, a co-worker and I stopped by my house to drop something off while we were running some errands. I called ahead and warned Robert that we would be there shortly and have Dustin watch for us out the front window so we could have some help bringing it inside. We pull up and there is Dustin bright eyed and cheery in the front window, the dogs on each side of him.

I nearly cried. Sometimes I look at that boy and my heart swells with love and pride. Even though sometimes I want to "pull his ears off" (as my mother loves to say) I adore that little bugger. Dustin bounded out of the house, said "Hey mom. I had a good day at school." and helped take the boxes inside. My co-worker who has worked with me for more than 10 years said, "Boy, he sure has come a long way!" That sure is true. . . sometimes it's so hard to see when you are living through the daily turmoil of his disability, and the rages, and the impulsivity, and the stealing, and the hoarding, and, and, and . . . .but he truly has come a long way!

I had a phone call from a woman in my support group from church the other day. She is the grandmother of two children that she and her husband have raised since birth. Both boys have organic brain disorders, one is definitely and FAS kid (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome). She is STRUGGLING! Our conversation reminded me that our world, the one with FAS children, is a fickle and ever changing one. It could be "hell and high water" one day and perfect peace the next. Her rough patch is continuing for some time and she is overwhelmed, tired, feeling like a failure and just ready to give up. She knows her child cannot control most of what she deals with, but that realization doesn't always make it easier when you're going through it. I have SOOOOO been there. She is talking about a residential placement being her only option. I feel for her.

The talk we had made me realize all that I am thankful for. I am blessed to have a good report with our doctor and he listens to what we say. He understands Dustin's brain chemistry as much as is possible and truly takes to heart what we say. He is a God-send. I am thankful that I don't have to fight the insurance companies like others do. We are blessed to receive Medi-caid for Dustin automatically since he is an adopted special needs child and from what I read in the blog-o-hood, Indiana's is far superior to most. I am thankful for a husband who truly takes Dustin's best interest to heart. He is patient and kind, loving and thoughtful when it comes to Dustin. For the most part, because his behaviors can tire anyone out, we are human we lose it occasionally, but we do our best.

I say all this knowing that today he could come home from school and have pulled a a stunt that will have grave consciences (again). He could have a rage and take off running down the street and the authorities will have to be called to "retrieve" him (again) . He could attempt to pull the cat's whiskers out with needle-nose pliers (again), or he could get mad and leave the faucet on in the upstairs bathroom and make it rain in the dining room (again). He could. . . . but maybe he won't. . .

That is life with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

1 comment:

Patty said...

What a beautiful picture, a glimps into a soul at peace (at least for the moment).

Again, I am thankful that God gave Dustin you, so that he might have a fighting chance, inspite of the chemical mix-up in his brain.