Old friend . . .

I had totally forgot an old friend was a cheerleader in the Nirvana Smells Like Teen Spirit video and then was hired to be in the Smells Like Nirvana video by Wierd Al. Here they both are . . .





Teri was a bit older than me but we ran in the same circles. She was so beautiful and was quite frightening. I know she could've kicked my butt. She had the coolest leather jacket with "the screamers" logo painted on the back. . .

There ain't no hole in the washtub . . .

I was reading Marked Hoosier today and I found a post he wrote before Christmas about Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas. It is my FAVORITE Kiddie Christmas movie of all time. So . . . even though it's past Christmas I had to post this :



How cute is that?

One Punk Under God . . .

I just finished watching the third episode of One Punk Under God. The show is basically what the documentary crew following Jay Bakker catches on camera. Jay Bakker is the son of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker of PTL fame. It is a wonderful program and I am so impressed by his convictions and his apparent mission to simply "love people" through Jesus Christ. The episode I watched tonight had him visiting his father in Branson. It was painful watching the riff between them. You could feel the tension between them after they spoke in private.

It reinforces to me that the "religious" sect or especially evangelical had a hard time when the disagree with someone. They are not the all-knowing translators of the Bible. They still interpret, and how do they know they are 100 % right? It scares me that they can be that exclusive. You need to understand that I grew up in a Pentecostal church. I still attend that church and support it monetarily. I do not agree with everything that is spoken from the pulpit. Do I have to? I don't think so. I can still see the greater good and can get past those things I think may be too open to interpretation. I have a personal prayer life, God can deal with me if I am in the wrong. Jay Bakker said something last week that I LOVED. He was preaching about homosexuals in the church and accepting them into his congregation. He said something I found totally astounding, "Because if we serve a real God and the Holy Spirit is real, if you think it's a sin, then don't you think the Holy Spirit will convict that person." Hallelujah! You got it! How can we turn those people away who are seeking the Lord? You need to give the Holy Spirit more credit than that.

That's exactly how I feel. WE are far too exclusive and far to judgmental. . . let's focus on loving people and let the Lord do His work.

Christmas Time . . .

We had a great Christmas. My mom, stepdad and brother (who came in from Minnesota) came over to our house on Christmas Eve for a simple little dinner and we opened a couple presents per child. They had a great time playing with Nanny and Papa and Uncle Josh. They had a difficult time getting to bed even though I cancelled the nap for the day. McCartney was so over tired and whiny. By the time we got her in bed, and told her she better sleep because Santa is coming, she began screaming "I don't want a present" in her nasty-est little girl voice. She was still awake at midnight. Mom stayed and helped me wrap all the kids presents while Josh stayed and watched Elf. It was like Christmas for me as we wrapped. I shop clearance sales all year 'round for Christmas gifts and put them in a large rubbermaid contained in the attic. By the time Christmas comes I forget what I've bought! We wrapped in record time. Everything was done in less than an hour. Robert and I stayed up and watched another movie and thankfully the kids didn't get up to see what Santa had brought them until about 11:00am.

Dustin was pretty well behaved. We went to my uncle's house and had holiday dinner and spent some time with my mother's family. Dustin was once again very well behaved and was even able to play appropriately with the cousins. He was by no means perfect, but he was better than I expected. Last year was awful, so any improvement is good. It's nice when the family says, "Wow, Dustins' doing well." You always have to lower you expectations and it's especially nice when the family doesn't expect too much from him either. All in all it was a good day.

McCartney and I took a looooong nap when we got home. Bad idea. McCartney was still up at midnight when I went to sleep finally giving in and telling her to keep on talking, but I was tired. I have no idea when she gave in, but she was horrid to get up this morning for daycare.

It was whirlwind of a weekend, with the reunion, the parties and the big guy's arrival at home, but I had a super time. We are truly blessed!

Fort Wayne's Subculture's still got it . . . .

Wow! Last night my a bunch of my old friends from the 80's and 90's got together for a "Crass Reunion". It was fantastic! We had people fly in from Maryland, California, Wahington State, New York, Portland, Minneapolis. . . etc. We had the best time! It was so awesome to see everyone again and it was as though 20 some years hadn't passed. I think my husband even had a good time. I'm certian that a ton of pictures will be posted on our site at FWSubculture. The best part of it was that I'm not the only one who has put on some weight! LOL. So many of my friends looked fantastic and many looked as though they hadn't even aged! We are some good lookin' people for as hard as we played as young'uns. It was so great to ask people about their families and have them pull out pictures of their kids. Some of them have kids that are as oldas we were when we met. Growing up is crazy! Hopefully we willall get togehter more often. . .

Bored & holiday surfing . . .

Open Sesame . . .

This was my favorite from Sesame Street. . .

Head banging . . .

I found this information on Kari's blog. I found it quite interesting and informative when it comes to FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) kids and how it affects them. It sums up my life with Dustin pretty well. . .

Let me tell you a story about some baby chickens who had FASD- Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders- who were a part of a research study. These chicks were put in a plexiglass box and they were deprived of food for long enough to make them quite motivated to find it. Food was then placed outside one of the walls of the plexiglass box where they could see it but not easily get to it. The exit for the chicks to get to the food was at the other end of the box. Non-exposed chicks figured it out in no time but the chicks with FASD did not. Sadly, they sat and banged their heads against the plexiglass wall again and again trying to get to the food. But that is not the end of the story....

The researchers showed the baby chicks with FASD how to get out of the box and how to get to the food. The chicks were able to repeat the action and get food.... until the next day when the experiment was repeated. The chicks with FASD had forgotten how to get out of the box and get to the food, (Welcome to my world) but again it is not the end of the story.

The researchers repeatedly and patiently showed them the way out and eventually most of them were able to retain the information and get food! Some took a long time and had to be taught over and over and over again but most were eventually able to do it.

Amazing! Repetition does work. It is annoying when you have to do it each and every day. Sometimes something will sink in and you think, "YES! Something got through that wall of FAS finally!" But the difficulty is that you don't know how many times, how many days, how many weeks, how many years it will take. You have to keep perservering. You have to remember that it is not his fault that he cannot do a task you have told him 2513 times how to do. We are human and it is hard. I lose my cool sometimes. I try really hard to be patient and calm, but life doens't always work that way.

Dustin is the chick. He has been prenatally exposed to alcohol. But somtimes I feel like the chick banging my head against the wall. I can see the end for Dustin, but I have to figure out a new way to get that end accomplished. But, I still bang my head on the wall, the wall of FAS.

Golden slumbers fill your eyes . . .

Dustin did not sleep one wink last night. When you have an impulsive child that needs constant supervision this is not a good thing. Robert was up with him most of the night, but the "alarm" that we have on his door woke me almost every time he opened the door, which by the way felt like 3198 times. He finally went to sleep about 8:30 this morning.

It is amazing to me how a child can be on enough medication to make a grown adult sleep for days, and still manage to stay awake. It once again points to the fact that his brain chemistry is just plain wacky.

This is not just from the crazy weekeend. His sleep habits have been going downhill fast. The last 5-6 nights have been difficult and now they have finally bottomed out. I have an appointment at the pychiatrist at 12:10 for him. Hopefully we can get this remedied. We also need to get a handle on his hallucinations. He has an entirely fictional world that lives around him. He is constantly talking to people who are not there, and creates this fantasy life for himself with a wife and an alternate family. Some people may say that is a good imagination. The problem is that it is real to him. Not good, not good at all for a child who doesn't know how to seperate te two and doesn't always live in reality to begin with.

13 days . . .

With 13 days until my "reunion" party. I thought I'd post an oldie but a goodie.



You see several months ago my friend came up with this wonderful idea for a website for a bunch of us old friends to get together, share old photos and old memories. Since that time a whole ton of us have found the site and relived our teenage and early-twenty past. It's been a blast. We are all coming together this Christmas Season for a Crass Reunion. I have friends coming in from all over the United States, and I can't wait to see them.

Pre-Monday Meanderings. . .

I have had a whirlwind of a weekend. We were so very busy this weekend, but it all ended very nicely. Dustin was pretty well behaved this weekend especially since we had so many different things happen to screw with his routine. I'm not so certain that tomorrow at school will be very good though. Typically a whirlwind weekend ends up making a crazy Monday. He did go with my mom to a fast food "jungle" to crawl through tubes tonight while Robert and I attended a holiday function, so he should sleep well. Hopefully no biting, hitting or crawling around will happen at school tomorrow.

I had the opportunity as we attended 2 holiday parties this weekend to talk to some people about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and I always love when I get to educate someone new about this horrible disorder. My least favortie thing is hearing "Oh you two are so wonderful. He's so lucky to have you" because I don't feel wonderful most of the time. I feel ineffective and angry most of the time . I also hate referring to it as a disorder, because it is totally 100 % preventable, unfortunately the one who gets the disorder has nothing to do about it. I think that educating people is important, but I think that educating prospective mothers, young mothers and addicted mothers is the true key . . . like what Kari does. I'm working on my bitterness. I am truly angry with Dustin's birth mother for being so selfish to continue to drnk while she was pregnant, but I wasn't there, I wasn't in her shoes. I need to heal from that anger, but it is so difficult as I and more importantly Dustin lives with her mistake daily.

NEXT. . .

There has been all sorts of talk about me and my views lately. I've been called names had cute little commentary on other's blogs about me and my views, etc. I put those views out there so they are indeed fair game. I am not be-moaning that fact. Your commentary makes me laugh. It makes me more certain that I have chosen the proper friends in life, and more importantly, makes me happy that I live in a country where I can post what I please, and others can as well. As long as I am not breaking the rules of the service I am using, or the laws of the land, I have the wonderful opportunity to spill my guts. If you don't like it or agree, post a comment. I welcome your opinions so long as they are not nasty. Go ahead and write about me on your blog. It simply increases traffic here and maybe one of your readers will come over here, read something they agree with and/or learn something. Life is full of differing opinions. That makes for a wonderfully fullfilling life.

Believe what you may, I am an open minded person. I love to learn about what other people are thinking, that's why blogging is fun for me. (well that and the plain and simple nosey-ness)
I will never know you from reading your blog. I will only know what I read, tempered with my own experiences in the vaccuum that typing produces. I may learn certain things about you, but I will never KNOW you. In the same manner you will not know me. I am pretty up front in person. I am right there. What you see is what you get, but blogging will never get you that "feeling". You will never know my intentions, so don't make an ass of yourself and assume you do. So go ahead call me a liar. You are simply making yourself look foolish. That is, except in the eyes of your sheep. . .

Baaaaah

It's the most wonderful time of the year . . .

Today we took the kids to Democrat headquarters for the kids Christmas party. They had a blast! They got to decorate cookies, ( they still are wearing the blue food coloring on their hands, lips and clothes from about 2:00 this afternoon) meet Santa, open a small gift and knock the stink out of a pinata. It was such a nice event and even Dustin was very well behaved! Harrison shocke the heck out of us by being quite "brave" when it came to meeting Santa. As a matter of fact when Santa came in, Harrison ran right over to him and hugged him. I'm sill shocked by that one. This is the child that freaks at the sign of Chuck E Cheese . . . okay I guess he is a giant mouse. . . anyway, he was great. At the end he talked Tom Hayhurst's ear off. Once you get Harrison started he doesn't quiet easily! Here are some highlights of the afternoon . . . .


McCartney with the man of the hour . . .


This one was a shocker. . .


Tired kids.

A quick weekend visit . . .

As I type, we are on our way to Kentucky to visit family for the holidays. What an adventure riding in the car with my three children for about 5 hours so far. (That's actually one more hour than I slept last night.) It's been over a year since we've made this trek and I forgot what a drama it is, even with DVDs, it's still a challenge. We did stop in Indianapolis to go to the Colts store. Circle Center Mall was crazy . . . so many people were there do their Christmas shopping. My kids are simply not very well behaved in places like this. Dustin had a fairly major meltdown in the Colt’s store and it culminated in him laying on the floor near the jerseys howling about not wanting to do what I asked. Nice.

Anyhoo, we are back on the road and we just passed an old converted school bus. It was painted in Colt's colors, had emblems all over it and was filled with about a dozen or more fans in jerseys and sweatshirts. Apparently they are heading down to Tennessee for tomorrow's game. Harrison said :

"Mommy, look! A Colt's bus. It takes the Colts to school."

Another Colt's moment was when, what I'm assuming is a half drunk man shouted "WOMAN! Alright! Go Colts!" At me as I was getting out of our van at a rest stop. Our van has a large Colt's horseshoe on the hood. He was also headed to Nashville for the game tomorrow as he cordially shouted to me also.

Another road trip funny . . . Robert just pointed out a deer that was laying near the side of the road. I was busy reading (Messiah of Morris Avenue - which by the way is SUPER) and I wasn't paying much attention. I didn't want him to think I wasn't listening to him so I responded by saying, "Dead?" And he said, " Well, it was laying near the road feet out and legs stiff. I didn't have much time for a diagnosis, but I'm pretty sure it was dead."

Smart Ass.

Okay, now I've heard it all. We had convinced he kids to look for farm animals as we traveled the last leg of our trip through rural Kentucky on 31W. Thinking maybe they would stop fighting, touching each other and wailing. The kids were shouting out the animals they saw which included cows, horses, llamas, buffalo, chickens and dogs. (Harrison even mentioned a dead skunk in the street) Dustin said the cows were eating real food. Robert made the smart-alek comment about "plastic food" that followed naturally. Dustin started naming foods cows eat and Robert asked if they ate cow eggs. Dustin said, "Cows don't hatch, they get born-ed out of the mother's butt." I nearly lost it. Then he adds, "The doctor has to reach in their butts to help them get born-ed. But he does use a really big glove"

Okay, maybe a little too much Animal Planet for him. Hopefully it was animal planet . . .

It is now late in the evening. We got to visit with Robert's sister before she had to go to work at a Western Kentucky Hilltoppers basketball game. And then we invaded Granny Wanda's house. After we spilled our drinks, ran through the house scaring her poor dog, Precious, half to death and spun around in her swivel rocking chair 379 rotations, we went shopping. I'm not sure I'll return to that store ever again. I think they probably have our security camera pictures already printed and posted on all the registers as suspected terrorists.

Dustin began our trip by taking off through the parking lot from Robert. He then jumped up and down screaming that he had to "PEE" in the toy section, had a holy conniption fit in the shoe section, hollered about calling the cops in the juice isle, laid on the floor in the frozen food isle refusing to walk near me as I had asked and then told me to shut-up several times on the way to the register quite loudly. Nice trip. Pleasant experience.

I'm heading to bed. I deserve it!

More Stories from the road . . .

Sunday, we spent our day hanging out with Aunt Teresa and her grandkids. We had a nice visit. The kids really enjoyed themselves and the family was shocked at how big they have gotten. Dustin was good off and on. We went to Granny Wanda's house and the kids wanted to go to the field to see the cows. So off we went into the frigid weather to stand near the cows for some photos. Unfortunately John, mom's significant other, got a new farm pup for his bithday. Her name was Molly and she thought she would help by herding the cows AWAY from the kids. Nice job Molly. After walking way into the fields all the while keeping an eagle eye out for McCartney NOT to step in cow poop, I felt that my frozen ears would fall off the side of my head. Finally I gave up and turned around. I think Harrison was channeling Miami Dolphin's old running back Mercury Morris running through the field avoiding cow patties. Instead of walking directly between two cow patties he would zig zag through a whole row of them and keep on running. It was hysterical. Robert took the kids to the barn to see the chickens and I went inside to warm up.

Right now we are heading towards Elizabethtown on 61. We came across totally stopped traffic on I65 at Sonora and pulled into a truck stop to use the restroom. There were so many Colt's fans pulled into the stop that it looked like we were tailgating at a Colts football game. We decided to follow a guy from Louisville on an alternate route since apparently there was a pretty serious accident on 65.

The guy is flying through the country roads and as we came over a hill and around a curve there was something quite large in the road. As we passed it you could tell it was a refrigerator box all folded over and squashed.Here was the exchange :

Robert said "Whoa"

Dustin asked "What was that?"

I said, "Box"

Dustin said, "Dead box?"

Too funny!

Success! We are now back on I65 and heading back toward Indiana. I'm gonna be beat at work tomorrow, but all in all it was a nice visit.