Crazy week . . .

It's been one crazy week. We are trying to get things done for the big move at work. I have been working my tail off, but that's okay because I sure could use the overtime on my paycheck. I am getting really excited about my new office and all the new spaces we will have in the new facility. We are going to have the most fabulous daycare in the city. The certificate of occupancy was granted today, so we can now begin to move things into the space. Our licensing inspection will happen next week, so it is gonna be quite a week as well. We are enrolling kids left and right, and all is well at this point. The weekend of the move will include as much paid overtime as one could possibly want, I am lookng forward to it . . .

The weather is making me crazy! I hate humidity and I can hardly breath due to my asthma. But, I am thankful for the rain. I have loved thunderstorms ever since I was a little girl and I would sit on Grandma's porch and watch the storms. I can remember sitting on her old metal glider and watching the lightning, probably not real safe, but memories nonetheless . . .

Robert is participating in the Blog-a-thon this weekend, so I need to get the kids out of the house this Saturday. I think a trip to It's Playtime or Burger King playground may be in order . . . we shall see.

Foster Care . . .

There are so many things wrong with the foster care system. Some of it is the case workers and more of it seems to be foster parents. My husband and I gave up our license several years ago when a perpetrator was put in our home and he molested a child in my home. This case worker knew this could be a possibility and never told us. I hate the system.

Last night one of our kids came by. He is now 16. He and his sister were put into an aunt's home from ours and I wrote about seeing him in Wal-Mart not too long ago. He looked great, was happy and seemed to be doing nicely. When he showed up on our porch, he didn't look so great. He said he was "going to find a place". He said he and his sister were no longer in the system and he needed a place to live. I asked if he was with his parents and he said no. I don;t understand how he is "out of the system" and I have no idea what in the world he is doing looking for a place to live at 16 with no driver's license and no job. It made me sad. He said he had walked many miles to get over in our area because he knew there was an apartment complex nearby that his uncle told him was inexpensive.

We have been really struggling with Dustin and his eating issues lately. He had always hoarded food, sometimes much more than others, but now he is hoarding dishes and other random things from the kitchen. I think it is partially his PTSD, going without food, or multiple placements, but he also has lower pain tolerance due to FASD and has no sense of feeling "full" so he eats and eats and eats. I struggle with it immensely I think because it was sin in my home to waste food. I know I have to just deal with it and stop trying to reason it out of him, but it is terribly hard. Claudia posted about it today here.

Then, I go about reading some regular reads and find an extremely troubling remark over at Kari's blog. This was the remark . . . "But really, I don't know how you do it. I would have disrupted on both of these kids, long ago. You have my admiration and sympathies." HOW VERY WRONG.

I wrote a rant about DISRUPTION not that long ago. I wrote that "I chose to adopt this child, I knew what it meant for our future and his. Do I have surprises daily? Yes. Do I regret? Never! I know institutionalization may come in the future, I will still be his parent. I will not disrupt the adoption . . .EVER . . .do you hear me?!" And then . . . "I don't feel like a very good parent daily. I don't experience success very often. I get frustrated by behaviors and expectations. I get angry and I lash out when I shouldn't. I struggle constantly, but . . . I would never choose to "return" Dustin. I feel weird even saying that. I envision someone saying, "Well, it is past the 90 day return policy, but you do have your receipt so I will have to give you store credit Do you have to box and the packing materials?" That post was entitled SICKENING and it still turns my stomach when people even remotely discuss this "option". I held my tongue the best I could, which probably wasn't very well. . .

Lakeside Park . . .

Over at our Family Site I posted some pictures of the last 2 days at Lakeside Park. It has been so mild that we have gone to the park 2 nights in a row. Tonight, I took these pictures of the park and I think they are pretty nifty . . .

So hot it'd burn the hair off a pig's back . . .

Wow it's hot today! Yesterday I spent the day at mom's house with my neighbor and her kids. All my nieces and nephews were there as well. Altogether there were 12 kids. Whew! They were really well behaved though. My mom has a hot tub we use as a pool for the kids in the summer and she has a really cool waterslide. This is actually the 3rd incarnation. The first one got holes in it really easily. The second one was small and was a joke. This one is by far the best and I think it will last. The kids sure do love it!

My mom stocks up on popsicles, fudge bars and ice cream sandwiches and fills the kids full of sugar and then sends them home tired and happy. What a great grandma!

Last week I got a serious haircut. I have been growing my hair out for about 2 years and I realized all I do is pull it back and it looks like doo-doo. So, I let my step-sister cut it off. I love it, I don't know what I was thinking . . .

That was then . . . this is now . . .

Fun for years at the Fort Wayne Children's Zoo. . .


August 1972, Sheri rides "Little Poof".


June 2007 McCartney rides "Little Poof".


August 1972, Sheri makes friends with a goat in the "farmyard" of the zoo.


May, 2004 McCartney doesn't know what to think.


June 2007, McCartney brushes a new friend in the "farmyard".


May 2004, McCartney fits in the palm of his hand.


June 2007, McCartney with an old friend!

Ahhhh Memories . . .

A lost friend. . .

Today I found an old friend. The friend? Black Pine Animal Park in Albion, Indiana. I found Black Pine years ago and visited frequently. At the time it was located in the backyard of Karen and Brad Bonar. The animal sanctuary started as Brad and Karen began to take in animals that people thought they could keep as pets. Animals such as mountain lions, bobcats, snow leopards, caracals, and rhesus-macaque monkeys. The park grew as Barnum and Bailey Circus began contacting the Bonar's about taking in retiring circus animals. They adopted the tigers who originally did that stunt with the spinning round cages. They have Mr. Bear and Isaac who are retired black bear performers. They have Johnny a camel who is and retired performers. My favorite is Tarzan and Coby who are adult chimps. They have been in commercials and music videos.

The park has grown over the years of my absence. The tiger population has grown as they recently adopted 3 part Siberian tigers who were rescued from horrid conditions. They have also acquired some leopards, including a black one. There are also losses. Cesar a retired performing tiger, and the father to Cita and Jai, was buried at the former location. Pinky, one of Karen's Cougars, also passed. Recently they also lost Shengi, a female African lion. Today, Nala, still seemed to be in mourning, and the keepers said she is definitely missing her companion. Lucky, a dwarf bull was another favorite from the "old days" who is no longer with us.


The "petting" portion of the park includes many field animals including Emus, Llamas, Rheas, Ostrich, Sicilian donkeys, a mini-dwarf pony named Minnie, Pygmy goats, Welsh mountain sheep, and a pot bellied pig. The Llama's are so very sweet and the donkey's are beautiful. The kids loved feeding them today. If you make the trip to Albion, you can bring your own bread and feed the field animals. Watch out for Ginger, the ostrich, she;s a handful!

The best thing about Black Pine for families is how close you can get to the animals. I can remember about 6 years ago I was teaching Pre-K and I took all 4 classes. It was the summer that Cita and Jai, some tiger cubs, were born and they were very small. Karen let us pet the cubs and allowed the kids to play with them in the field. She used to also get the camels out and we could feed them "cookies". Today, the park is probably a little more stringent with there "no touch" policy than they used to be in Karen's backyard. But it is still well worth the trip. They relocated last December and are still in the process of building permanent outdoor habitats for all the animals. So, pardon their dust. Invest some time and some money at a local sanctuary, you will be amazed how cool it is!

Parenting hard kids is hard . . .

Parenting in general is difficult. I have to say that working in a daycare for 13 years before I had children, I thought I had it all figured out. I couldn't fathom how parents could be constantly running late for work. How could they forget show and share day? How could they forget it was a party day and come in late? Why did they carry the 4 year old down the hall? Etc. I knew that I would be a great parent and have it all figured out when I had my own because I had oh so much experience at daycare. WRONG.

I forget stuff for projects, I would rather carry the kid than drag him. I am always running late. I take back everything I ever said about any parent. Parenting is hard. You're "on" 24/7. I am by no means making light of "normal" parenting, but parenting "hard" kids is much harder. My children are difficult. I know that all kids have their very own issues. But, throw a children who has brain damage due to pre-natal alcohol exposure into the mix and you have a recipe for DIFFICULTY.

My children are better for having Dustin in their lives in many ways. They are much more tolerant of behaviors of their peers and they are probably far more compassionate than they could've been. They are also much more independent due to the many "melt-downs" and extra attention that Dustin requires. They have other issues that go along with that. They are incessantly annoying, probably because they have to fight for attention some of the time. McCartney is terribly strong willed and stubborn. She knows how to push buttons and then works it for all it is worth. She is in some ways more trying than Dustin. I will never know if this is a product of nature or our environment.

Parenting kids such as these is difficult. Not only does it do a toll on you as a person and a parent, but also on your marriage. It is a huge responsibility as a parent to take these issues and make them a part of your daily routine. It makes you grumpy and irritable. It makes you much more likely to snap at your spouse. They are the one person who is your ally in all of this, and the one you take it out on the most. It's unfortunate.

Like any marriage, Robert and I have different ways of dealing with the stress. Neither of us can understand the scope of what our words and actions have on one another. Robert retreats into a project and I keep on advancing. Mars and Venus. I push and push, like the stereotypical woman, and irritate and irritate. He is a true trooper. I can't imagine the stress that he has on him dealing with Dustin 24 hours a day. I have a break when I go to work, he doesn't. I couldn't do what he does. I suppose that is the mark of a truly great relationship, he is weak where I am strong and vice versa. Unfortunately right now I don't feel so strong.

We came to the realization last winter when we were dealing with so much difficulty with Dustin that only one parent can check out at a time. It's tough when there is a constant stressor in the home, especially one you love so dearly. One you wish you could fix and can't. I love my husband with all my heart and thank him for walking this journey with me. . . even with all my faults.

Wedding . . .

I went to a crazy kind of wedding today. McCartney and I hitched a ride up north with my mom and step-dad. The groom was Amish. Apparently they aren't too strict Amish because he has definitely turned "English" and the family hasn't shunned him. I have never seen so many Amish in one place in my life. It was beautiful and a wonderful girl and friend of the family is now a Mrs.

They grow up so fast . . .

Yesterday I got kindergarten shots for Harrison. I can hardly believe that he will go to school in the fall. I never thought he would grow so big so fast. About 4 months ago, when he was still 4, he brought me a book and began reading. I mean reading. For about a year and a half he has been sounding out letters and putting together blends. He knows about silent e and how it makes the vowel long. He can tell you about rhyming words and opposites. He even knows what punctuation is. He has been reading random words for a while, but he brought me book and READ it. I was amazed!

I have had an issue with the daycare moving farther from my home. Due to that fact, our neighborhood school does not transport to the daycare. I finally was able to opt him into a school in that area and we are all set. It has been a huge stressor and now it is all done. I am so thankful that I got him into a school closer to the daycare and transportation will be taken care of. But, the fact remains, my baby boy is going to school. . .

Titanic Fun . . .

Boat loads of fun . . . a yet, a little morbid. . .

Today at the daycare we rented a large Titanic Slide. It was so fun! The kids loved every minute of it. It still is a little creepy to be sliding down the sinking deck of the Titanic though. Kinda disrespectful to those who loss their lives on the ship, but tons of fun!

Here's a pic of McCartney on the slide. . . more to come later.

My mom's new toy . . .

My mom is the best Nanny in the world. Check out what she and PaPa bought for the grandkids. . .


McCartney goes up . . .


Harrison goes for a ride . . .


McCartney's nice form . . .


Dustin says, "Whoa!" . . .

My adventure with the ignorant . . .

We decided to take the kids to the Pizza Hut buffet tonight. Dustin loves it. The little ones can graze all they want. I however, had a run-in with a drunk. . . at least I hope he was.

I'm accompanying Dustin to the buffet and I asked him not to grab a plate. The stacks were all hot and I knew he would immediately drop it on the floor or start hollering. He went to grab a plate anyway and I said, "Dustin, I asked you not to touch those." A man across the buffet says quite loudly, "Damn lady! Let the kid get his own plate. I taught my kid how to do it when he was little. Damn!" I was shocked and responded with, "Sir, my son is special needs." He grumbled and moaned at me the entire time we were getting Dustin's food. As we walked back to our table I was still a little shaken. We sit, I look over and he is sitting on table over and one back.

Dustin was pretty well behaved and the little ones were darn good. It was actually a nice time. Towards the end of the meal, the man tries to get my attention and I pretend not to see him. He stands up, grabs something off the table and comes over to our table. He extends his hand and shakes me hand apologizing for what he said. I told him it was fine and that I understood that Dustin's disability is hidden. He proceeds to throw money at me. I told him he was being ridiculous and he very loudly begged me to take it to show me that he was "Sorry deep down in his heart". The entire time he is getting louder and louder and continued to lean over the table, beating on his chest over his heart. I'm thinking, "Oh mercy! Robert get back here now!" He finally leaves. Not without getting into a little screaming patch with his wife saying, "I can't leave the tip, I just gave that lady my last 4 dollars. Damn woman."

After all this, Dustin is like, "Mom give me my money. It's mine. He gave it to you because I'm special needs!" I could've climbed under the table. I'm totally embarrassed. I want to leave. Robert comes back and has no clue what has just passed. Finally when we leave it says, honey you are leaving money on the table. Usually we just put the tip on the debit card with the bill. Dustin once again starts hollering, "It's mine because I'm special needs." For crying out loud.

Last Friday night the kid across the street was home with some friends. He is about 12 or 13 and lives with his sister and her boyfriend. He starts yelling out the window at us playing in the front yard. He is calling Dustin a "retard". Dustin was instantly upset and began crying which made the kid holler other ugly and hateful things. I lost it. I was so angry. I threatened to haul my "fat ass" as he called it, up those stairs and he could call me names to my face. He stopped. Funny part is, he rides the "short bus" to another school.

I hope this in not an indication of things we will have to deal with as the gap between Dustin's actual age and his developmental age grows farther and farther apart. I know it is, but I hate it for him.

Manic Monday . . .

After a fabulously lazy weekend I had a day off today. I decided to run a few errands since my crazy summer at work begins Thursday when the kids get out of school. A few errands turned into about 7 including a visit to the veterinarian for Max, the toy fox terrier mix. He's a pain. I swear he has little dog complex, similar to short man complex. Today, I think he lost half of his fur due to excessive shedding from being nervous. It looked like it was snowing in the office there was so much fur flying around. I had the doc get the vet tech because I refuse to hold down my own dog. He bit her and they had to muzzle him. Nice. I love feeling like a failure as a pet parent too. Although the best part is that now he is traumatized and he is nice a quiet tonight.

The other big thing I accomplished today was getting a money order cashed. No big deal you say? Well, my bird ate 4 of the routing numbers off the check. I took it to the bank and they said they couldn't cash it. So I took it back to the check cashing place that issued it to my renter. They couldn't cash it and gave me a claim form to fill out. It would take 65 days to get my money AND I had to have the receipt. I don't have the receipt and neither did my renter. I spent 40 minutes on hold with the company and they told me it could take 90 days if I did not have the receipt. Finally I got them to give me the routing number and with a little prodding of the bank, and talking to the "higher-ups" they said they would cash it. That could've been an expensive snack for the parrot. . .

By the way, thanks to AWB, or as I now call him Angry White Gramps. He offered AND delivered a full size basketball hoop to our house this weekend for my son. His son obviously discovered girls and cars as he grew older and abandoned the hoop. It was nice of him to think of us and offer it for Harrison. I knew you had a soft heart somewhere in there. *wink* By the way, my dog ran right over and peed on it, he must read your blog too. LOL

The year end IEP . . .

Individualized Educational Plans, for those of you with "gen-ed" kids, are the plans that the school must follow for children with disabilities. The IEP tells what the disabilities are, strengths and weaknesses, goals and treatment interventions, speech and occupational therapy goals, graduation track etc. Dustin's includes a BIP, behavioral intervention plan, and a FBA, functional behavioral analysis. Each of those need to be reviewed every 20 school days. IEP's need only reviewed every year or when changes need to made to add or remove programs, goals or interventions either at the request of the school or parent. In that case you must call a CCC, case conference committee, and call everyone needed together to make changes. They must prvide you with PS, procedural safegaurds, prior to the meeting. Today we rejected ESY, extended school year, to give Dustin a much needed break for the summer. I met today with Dustin TOR, teacher of record, his PP, paraprofessional, and the area SERT, special education resource teacher. In our case FAS, fetal alcohol syndrome, has become alphabet soup.

As I sat in the CCC today, I realized that I had no idea 6 years ago what I was in for I have learned so much about mental health issues, school policies and regulations and all the crazy abbreviations for everything. I have come along way and so has Dustin.

Today was Dustin's yearly review and for the first time in a long time I wasn't sick to my stomach with the prospect of a new IEP. The modified schedule that we have been on since April 9th has been a tremendous success! He is a totally different child at school. He is the child I told them that he could be. It was wonderful to hear all the positive comments and hear how he has progressed nicely since the schedule change. I thought however, it would only take about an hour and I was there nearly 3 hours. . . in a non-airconditioned, windowless room. Ugh! But everything is set for next year, and things are looking up. His two hours daily will be increased to 3 hours. The state rarely goes for modified schedules at the beginning of the school year, but the CCC thought that we had enough documentation to provide reasons why it should be allowed. He has, after all, been deemed a "danger" to others and the modified day has been so definitely positive I don't think they could deny it. He also has medical reasons as his chlozapine makes him sleep so well and so long that school prior to 10 am would be totally ineffective and difficult anyway.

I also found out today that his fabulous PP, paraprofessional, postponed a trip to Japan to take the job to work with Dustin. She enjoys him and keeps him well in line. I am so thankful for professionals that love what they do and have my child's best interest at heart. I had a tiny bit of an anxiety attack when I learned that another teacher in his 3 teacher group will be his TOR, teacher of record, next year. The teacher of record is responsible for all contact to the family and all paperwork needed for the Special Education Department and the homeroom teacher for the child. She is the primary person I deal with . . . sometimes daily. I panicked because we have been through so much this year, and formed a great relationship. I don't have anything against this other teacher, but I know Dustin would have a difficult time transitioning to her for his homeroom as well. At the end of the meeting the SERT, special education resource teacher, from the main department asked if his current teacher would consider keeping him and being his TOR next year. I followed that with, "Maybe you should've asked her when I left, maybe she is happy to be rid of Dustin and us as well." She said the nicest things, basically saying that we were the kind of parents she loved to work with and that she hoped she had never given us that feeling, and that she knows Dustin has potential. I can rest easily, she will be his TOR next year.

All in all a very positive day! Miracles never cease.

Freimann Family Thursday . . .

We went to the Freimann Family Thursday event last evening in Downtown. It was a fun time in the heat, and a bonus for us, we could walk and not use any gas! The crowds were not crazy and they had some fun things to do for the kids. The band The Yellowhammers were great, the singer sounded like across between Elvis Costello and my hubby. Here are some shots of the sweaty kids . . .


Having fun in the park . . .


Climbing the sculpture . . .


Busy being rotten . . .


Man, it was hot . . .


They actually look like they love each other . . .

Ouchy . . .

I have a wicked headache today. I woke up with it. Good morning, here have a horrible day. I hate that. I have been plagued with migraines since I was about 8 years old. I can remember going through brain scans, CT scans, tonislectomy, allergy testing and opthalmolgist appointments as a young child, trying to get to the bottom of the headaches. I recall having a bottle of Excedrin with my name on it in the principal's desk drawer that I would use almost daily. I would go down to the office, take 2 excedrin and lay in the nurse's office for an hour or so. It typically didn't go away and they would call my mom.

I struggled all through high school and college with headaches trying all different kinds of medications. Back then, the meds either made you terribly "high" or so tired you couldn't function. I hated them. One time I can rememebr trying a new medication from my doctor and "flipping out" at my best friend's house because I felt like my arms were no longer attached to my body. My friend "Toad" sat with me all night while I freaked out. (I never really did any drugs to speak of, so this was not a welcomed experience! They thought this was nice and funny and wanted to try one! LOL)

I lived with migraines. I had about 4-5 a week. Most of them included vomiting. I hated them, but learned to live with them. Three summers ago I returned to a doctor who I had to leave for insurance reasons. She asked about my headaches. I told her they were still bad. She put me on a blood pressure medication, even though my blood pressure is super, and they stopped. I mean stopped. I have only had about 10 migraines in the past 3 years. That is amazing! It has changed my life. In addition, the medication only costs me $2 a month . . . NICE. The only bad part is that now when I get a headache it's horrible because I am not used to them. That would be TODAY.

My children have also been plagued with migraines. When Harrison was about 17 months he began vomiting and saying his head had an "ouchy". Sometimes he said they were a "mommy ouchy" or a "daddy ouchy" this would tell us how severe they were. After talking to our pediatrician about it he sent us to a nerologist. He was on medication for about a year to help stop the headaches. Once I learned what his triggers were; bananas, yogurt, certain cheeses, and heat, we stopped the medication and he isdoing quite well. McCartney also became plagued with headaches about 19 months. She would vomit as well. Thankfully, her triggers are the same as Harrison's.

Oh my gawd . . . .

I just had a supervisor come into the office at work laughing hysterically. She had come around the corner and almost ran into a dad who was picking up his son at the daycare. The son was dawdling and the dad turned around and said in a hushed yet angried voice, "Will you hurry up I have to shit!" When he turned around, there was the supervisor.

Talk about being in the wrond place at the wrong time. That poor dad. He was probably mortified. The funny thing is that it was a pastor's wife who repeated it to me! I am still laughing!

Mothers Day . . .

I am perpetually late. I posted an Easter post late and I seem to remember that I posted a late Father's Day post last year. Today I decided after reading some regular reads that I have it good in the Mother Department.

I have a fabulous mother. She is a strong woman of God and a fabulous role-model for me and my daughter. We have not always seen eye-to-eye, but what mother and daughter combo has. When growing up I was far more like my father than my mother. I was actually probably much much more like my maternal grandmother than anyone else. My grandma was ornery, opinionated and could be abrasive. I have never had much tact and I always speak my mind. My mother and I were close yet, not in the best-friend sort of way. She was my mother, I respected her, and I revered her. I saw her go through tough times and lean on her faith for support. I saw her weather infidelity on my father's part and I didn't understand her forgiveness. I saw her stand by him when the cancer ate away at his body. I saw her stand strong when the Lord finally took him home providing my brother and I with support and encouraging words, yet not be afraid to cry in front of us and with us.

I saw her happiness as she walked down the isle with my step-father. I rejoiced that she had once again found love. She couldn't have found a better man to share the rest of her life with. And I love him as if he was my own father because he treats my brother and I as though we are his own children.

I will never forget the gleam in her eye when my children were born. I have the image of her holding my newborn children in her arms in the hospital burned into my brain. I will always cherish the loving look she gives my children daily as they run into her office to give their Nannie a hug and a kiss. She spoils my children terribly and I love her for it. Our relationship has definitely changed and grown over the years after I had my own children. She has become a much larger part of my life and I respect her now more than I ever have before.

I irritate her and she irritates me. We spend far too much time together. We work together and I end up speaking to her on the phone at least once a night, sometimes more. We share our lives. I feel as though I can share anything with her and she will respect me for what I say and will offer the best advice I could ask for. Do I always listen? Nope. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes she is. I love our relationship. I love my mother with all my heart and I wouldn't have her any other way. She is my best friend and I would love to be just like her as I "grow up".

Eeeewww . . .

I have this aversion that I think I have blogged about before . . . it's to bumpy things. Bumpy things? You ask. Yes, bumpy things. I hate those warty gourds that they sell around Halloween. I hate the little barnacles that collect on the sea walls in Florida. I hate the little bumpy spores on the back of some greenery that comes in a bouquet of flowers. It creeps me out just writing about it. I get all shivery and itchy. It makes my skin crawl. My son has similar issues. When he was a baby he used to gag when he looked at his prune-y hands after being in the bathtub too long. Weird huh?

That being said I also have issues with bugs. They gross me out and give me the same reaction. I don't freak out when I see one. I'm not that crazy person who runs screaming from a spider, but I certainly don't want to look at one. The big pull out drawers at the zoo with the giant bugs . . . .NASTY. I once had a child at the daycare say, "Miss Sheri, there is something in my hair" It was the biggest tick I have ever seen! It had to have been there for days. I threw up. Great teacher huh?

I have been listening to much more country music lately. I have been a little bit of a fan for some time, and then my trip into Kenny-Land last summer with LJ sealed the deal. Much to the dismay of my husband, the kids and I listen to a country station while we are in the car and I have some selected tunes loaded into the I-Pod. I am by no means a connoisseur, but I have my preferences. I heard a Brad Paisley song the other day that gave me the creeps (hence the talk about my aversions) . . . " I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
and I'd like to check you for ticks"

Gross.